A Day In The Life... Round II

The calling hours will be this coming Tuesday 5/27 from 4-8 at Kirila Funeral Home 258 Poland Avenue Struthers, Ohio 44471.

The funeral will be the following day 5/28 at St. Columba Cathedral 154 W Wood St Youngstown, Ohio 44503 at 10 a.m.

5-21-2025 For those of you who know Patrick or have followed and been inspired by his blog knows that he has battled this awful disease every single day. At about 3 a.m. this morning, our beloved Pat passed surrounded by his dedicated and loving family. We will be posting the details about his upcoming services so please check back.

Song Of The Day: The Show Must Go On by Queen

5-14-2025. Not a good day in the life today. I got through the MRI this morning. It was tough with laying flat and also with the fluid in the lungs.Breathe in, Breathe out over and over again. Another challenge with the lungs. First kick in the nuts is that the cancer has spread more in my liver. I still have a buildup of fluid in my lung and also my stomach. Amanda called the Hope Center and they made me come right in for an evaluation. I got some fluids and they gave me some more drugs that I hope will help a bit. We had a long talk with the doctor's and sadly we're just about at decision time. Looks like I will be looking into Hospice Care. This will be set up at home. Treatment will be off the books for the time being. Funny statement not knowing how much more time I have. He does want me to check into getting this lung drained. Might help with the comfort care. We knew this time would eventually come and to be honest it scares me to death to leave the family. I actually had moments today of blaming myself. They for sure didn't deserve this shit. We decided to cancel my Pet-Scan scheduled or Saturday. I agree that ther's no need to go down that road. I'm not sure where I'll be with this down the road or even if I will be able to post. I will still try to give as many updates as I can. Once again, thanks to all my family, friends, and those in my groups. Hope I helped them as much as they helped me. If I can't get back to everyone I know you'll understand. Hope to get the lungs back in order and get some comfort.

5-12-2025. Finally made it back to the laptop. Breathing a little bit better but still knocked on my ass! I slept on the couch last night sleeping upright. Basically sitting straight up. It seems to help with the fluid in the morning.. I have to do everything possible to help myself out right now. Starting with baby steps again. I didn't get off the couch until 11am or so. Takes me forever to just get the body moving no matter how much rest I get. These last six days have been a big tester for me mentally. I sat here for a couple hours just starring at the walls. No tv or even music. I did get to the back deck to sit in the sun for about 10 minutes. My body might be shutting down but my stubbornness might be at an all time high! I'm hoping to get some more fluids in me and maybe some food down. MRI is Wednesday morning. Pet-Scan is scheduled for Saturday. Two days to really look forward too. 😀

5-9-2025 Sounds crazy but just doing a post the last few days has been a task. Hard to believe but the energy is so low I don't even want to grab the laptop. No music either, that should tell you something. I can't even think about making it to work or going anywhere. So aggravated I can't do anything. Yesterday was about the same as Wednesday. I got out of bed around 10:30am came downstairs and napped for another hour or so. Morgan did get me out of the house for about an hour but it took a lot out of me. Came home and slept for a good bit again. Not sure if it's the new drug or one of my other issues. I do seem to get a little more energy at night but the days are sucking ass! I only ate a couple pieces of toast the last few days and barley drinking. I know I have to hydrate! My scans got scheduled yesterday. My MRI is scheduled for next Wednesday morning. That will check out my liver and hopefully give me some answers about this pain in the ass lung issue. My Pet-Scan is scheduled for next Saturday. That will be the big one to see how much or if this shit is in more of my bones. Regardless after next week we'll have some decisions to make once again. To say the least this week has been a tester. Now I have to dig deeper if I can find it. Today is a new day and I have to get my head on straight. I have to get some pictures with Samantha this afternoon. It's her junior prom. When I got up this morning Morgan hit me with good news. She made the Y.S.U. nursing program! So proud of her. Chalk up another few reasons why I try to keep pushing! Let's try and get some fluids in today and food in me. Hopefully make a bit of a comeback today!

5-7-2025 Early morning rise and probably a day of rest unless I can snap out of this. I'm not as bad as yesterday afternoon but still pretty sick. So here are the details from yesterday's first experiment with the Zolbetuximab. We are not sure if it hit me because it's new to my body, it wasn't infused with the folfox, or like Doc from the clinic said it's been hitting people pretty hard. I will give the rundown of yesterday at the hope center. Maybe it will help out some of the people in my groups that are following. Give them some insight on what to expect. After my initial bags of fluids and roids they started a low flow of the Zolby for one hour which I seemed to handle ok. They checked my vitals and I had the all clear to bump up the flow. I felt the thunder in a matter of minutes. I'm not joking. It felt like I swallowed a couple of grenades. The weirdest feeling in my belly and throat. I did manage to unhook and get to the restroom for both of my throw up sessions. The nurses at the hope center did an excellent job of staying with me the entire time. Every nurse there was on top of this mess and made me as comfortable as I could be. Just wanted to give out a big thank you! After discussing with the doctors we stopped the Zolby and took my vitals again which were fine. They gave me another bag of a different anti-nausea medication for a half hour then started the regular flow of the new drug . Still felt weak but whatever they did helped out a ton. Now it was time to just get through the day. Thank god Morgan was there for most of the day to pass the time with some conversation. Not even music yesterday. That should tell you something. It ended up being about a 7 hour infusion. We did not get out of there until 4pm. That's one long day of getting your ass kicked. I came home and slept just about the whole evening. Got up for a short time and talked with the family. Those talks are getting more and more important to me right now. Then it was right back to sleep with my weak ass. Not the best night of rest but I didn't get out of bed. Today I'm probably gonna have to lay around and do nothing all day. Rest and not move which is pure torture to me. Unless I get a jolt later on. Who knows what to expect this afternoon. They're looking into why my scans have not been ordered yet. Hope to hear something soon. I'll have updates soon. Time to lay around and stare at the walls! 😀

5-6-2025 Treatment Tuesday again! Bloodwork still low but treatment is a go. My platelets went up a tad to 32. Blood cell counts still the same. They did the short introduction class on the zolbetuximab on what to expect. They will be monitoring me closely all day. Got my steroids and fluids. They just started my bag of the new drug. They will do the infusion slow at first to see how I react. It's going to be a long day. I will be here for at least 5-6 hours. Maybe they can hire me at the Hope Center since I'll be putting in a full day. Time to shut my eyes for a bit. It's time to toughen up and get through this. Crossing my fingers this drug can slow this shit down. Hope to have updates later on how I'm feeling if I'm not crashed all evening.

Song of the Day - Huey Lewis & The News - I Want a New Drug

5-5-2025 I made through the cavs game yesterday. Not the outcome we wanted but it was a great time! Something so simple was quite the task. Totally exhausted when we got home last night but it was worth every second watching the boys have a great time. We had a blast. A night they will never forget. Thanks to my boss for the tickets and a great dinner before the game. Can't thank him enough. I did not sleep good last night and was really tired this morning. I didn't get off the couch until 11:30 - noon. It took me a while to get going. Got my shower in and now time to rest again. No energy to even get some yard work in. With all this rain I'm going to need a tractor to do the yard next time! Once again, I'm breathing pretty heavy today. Such a pain in the ass! My scans are still not scheduled. We're going to have to find out what's going on. Super high anxiety for tomorrow morning. We'll see if they give me the new cocktail. I just don't want to be throwing up sick like most people are getting with this. We'll find out in the next 24 hours. I'm not even sure how long the infusion will be or if I'll even get it. Thanks to everyone reaching out to Amanda and I the last few days. It means a lot knowing we have so many people to help out if needed. Updates tomorrow morning if I can! Time for attack mode!

5-3-2025. Another rough night of sleep. Up and at it early. I did get another two-hour nap in this afternoon. Thanks, Eric, for lending an ear today and talking me off the cliff. Always great getting that extra push from someone that has been through the grind. Nothing special on tap for today. Going to watch the derby and relax. Have to save my energy for tomorrow. My boss is treating us tomorrow. We are heading up to watch game one of the cavs series. The boys love it and are super pumped. Should be a long day for me. Hope I can get through it with no issues. You know I'll give it my best shot. Nothing like NBA playoff basketball! Something to look forward to and get my mind off Tuesday.

5-2-2025 Rough night of sleep. I didn't roll out of the rack till 10am. More mental than anything. Maybe just tired from getting in a little yard work yesterday. Had my meeting with the Clinic last evening. He believes that the fluid buildup in my lung can also be coming from the cancer. Maybe liver and lung now. In the bones to. I just keep getting kicked in the nuts! Not for sure until I get all of these scans done. The Pet- Scan will show where it's going. Feels like I'm starting to run out of options. He agrees and I will be starting the new drug Zolbetuximab on Tuesday. He has only treated a few patients with this drug. With these few they have all been treated with this and Folfox combined. I will be the first he has dealt with to just do Zolbetuximab. He said it is causing severe nausea at the time of the infusion. Might make for a long Tuesday if they have to slow down the infusion. Something for me to look forward to. He will be sending notes to Hope Center to give them a heads up on what to expect. I will be the first one getting this drug at HC so who knows what to expect. I know I will be in good hands with them. Just have to cross my toes and hope something can slow this mess down a bit. I know it's a longshot, but I have to try it and see if it gives me a little more time. My mind is going in 1000 different directions right now. I'm about as low mentally right now and that's saying a lot with everything I've been through. I have to find a way to get through this next stretch.

5-1-2025. We made it to May 2025! Every month right now feels like bonus time. Not much to post about this morning. Rolled out of bed around 9 or so. The problem right now isn't waking up it's getting my ass up and moving. Had crazy thoughts of making the trip to the lab today but that's not going to happen. Still a little pain in my upper and lower back. This will be a huge month for me. With all these scans coming up and the chance of getting the new drug. I have a virtual meeting with Dr. McNamara from the Cleveland Clinic this evening. He should be able to give us some insight on what to expect if we use the Zolbetuximab. We'll have updates on what he says. Beatdown and pretty low lately. Knowing this shit may be in my liver is a real kick in the nuts! I have to find some steam to keep pushing. Let's get through this month and figure some shit out. I'm not ready to go to the other side yet. 39 full length albums in April. Besides the full albums I've been listening to tons of music. It's the best medication for me. 🎸

Song of the Day - Alice in Chains - Down in a Hole (Live Unplugged)

4-29-2025. Late afternoon post on a Hope Center Tuesday. Just got up from a 3 hour nap! My body can shut down in a second these days. No treatment today. I was pleasantly surprised to see Dr. Khalid one more time today. We had a long talk about my Cat- Scan results. He believes that the spot on my liver is from metastasis. Once again another battle! We have to confirm this with another MRI and he is also ordering a PET-Scan. They are taking me off of the Ram and moving me to another line. I will be starting the new FDA approved Zolbetuximab. I will be the first person to get this new drug at the Hope Center. I'll be the HC test rat for this drug. My oncologist from the clinic said this new drug is making his few case patients pretty sick. I'll have to see how and if I can even handle the heat. Where do you draw the line between keep going or shutting it down? I have a meeting with my Cleveland oncologist Thursday evening. I have so much shit going on right now I don't know if I'm coming or going. Doc was not as concerned with the fluid in my lung. I guess a chance I have cancer now in the liver trumps fluid in the lungs. 😀 He said it may take months for that to clear up. At least for now they are not going to drain it out. My bloodwork is still the same. No surprise. My platelets are down to 28 and my counts are still low. Time for the next battle. We will be waiting on all these scans to get scheduled to get more answers. Meeting with Cleveland Thursday evening. I get another week off. I'll have updates on my scans and how I'm feeling throughout the days. Time to enjoy every second I have right now! That's if I'm not sleeping!

Song of the Day - Jane's Addiction - Jane Says

4-28-2025 Happy Birthday Nunzie Joe! 14 years old. Hard to believe. These are the reasons I keep going. I get to enjoy another family birthday. Chalk one up for team Minno. I was outside for a bit today enjoying some sun. That was between two long naps. We got a message back from the Clinic. He said I may have to go to another line of treatment. How many lines do I have left? I'm not sure if the body can take any more. So hard to push right now. He will talk with the Hope Center tomorrow morning. My appointment at the HC got moved back to 9:15. We'll have to see what they say about my lungs and liver. I'm getting hit from all angles right now. Bone pain in the back does not seem to be getting better. We'll see what the doctors have to say tomorrow. I'll have updates on what we decide to do. Time to enjoy his birthday with the family this evening.

4-26-2025 I have so much going through my head right now. I will make this as short and sweet as possible. Results came in today. Not the greatest scan but honestly for me these results are not shocking. We also realize you can't listen to everyone or Dr. google. The only thing I can do is wait until we talk to my team and go from there. Once again I have to make that stupid ass decision to keep going or stopping this treatment all together. Today has been a tough one mentally. One minute tough guy comes out and says bring it on, I can handle more. The next I look at my family and it scares me to death. Scan shows more progression of disease in my bones which is no surprise. Probably the reason for my increased pain in back. There are also more spots on my ribs. The right lung and abs showed increased fluid that may be from infection or disease. Maybe my breathing/no energy issues? That's what the team can answer. The gut punch was too read about possible metastasis to my liver. The results mentioned a new spot or two possibly mets to liver. I need another battle like I need another bone lesion. 😀 All my other organs and lymph nodes are all clear for now. I guess that's some good news to take from this scan. I'm going to try like hell to enjoy the rest of this evening and tomorrow. Maybe bury myself in some music, my book/puzzle or even just binge on Netflix and hoops. My man Stefan headed back to Salt Lake City this afternoon. It was so great having him in for ten days. Love the company. Helps pass the time and get your mind off this shit for a little bit. Let's see what's next then we'll make decisions. Thanks again for everyone reaching out the last few days. ❤️

4-25-2025. Three years ago today was my original diagnosis. A day I will never forget. Hard to believe it's been three years. Looking back on my two blogs it's crazy what this body has gone through. No time for rest right now. I'm getting ready to head out for my scan. A little bit of anxiety is starting to kick in. I will update with results when they come in. I will have a pretty good idea of what they are but will have to talk to my team for the next step. Trying to pump myself and get this done!

4-24-2025. Scan is scheduled for tomorrow at 1pm. Here we go again. Lost count of how many scans I've had. I think it's ironic my scan will be on the same date as my original diagnosis three years ago. Three years of hell! At least I'm still around to be posting my story. I haven't got a huge amount of anxiety the last few scans. With this spread in my bones I've ready for anything. From the worst news to the best news I'm going to see where we go after tomorrow. No pressure, huh? Yesterday was another win for the Cancer squad. No work and still low energy. I will say I had a little more juice than Monday or Tuesday but not a chance to get up to the lab. I'm setting a goal of getting there next Monday. I did manage to help Amanda yesterday with the side yard. Yes just a few passes and I was wiped out. She might need medication just dealing with me. 😀 My reflux was really bad yesterday. It was my biggest challenge of the day. So bad I decided to sleep upright in the chair. Not the greatest night of sleep as you can imagine but the reflux is better this morning. Just going to rest again and get ready for my scan. I'm trying so hard to get through this bad stretch, but it's been brutal. I'll have updates on my scan when the results come in. Let's go get it!

4-22-2025 It's been a rough couple of days. Easter Sunday afternoon turned into low energy and a good two- hour nap. I got pretty sick. The closest I've been to going to the ER in sometime. Had a bad episode of throwing up which caused my gums to bleed again. Scary when you think you can be bleeding from somewhere else internally. Reflux has been really bad lately. I felt a little better late at night. Slept ok but no way in hell I was making it to work yesterday. I took the L yesterday. Shit is beating me down. Got a walk in yesterday but still got two good naps in. Have to push hard not to sleep all day. So hard with these blood levels. Amanda called the Hope Center yesterday to ask about my scan. She told them how I was feeling. They wanted me to go to the ER but I'll pass for now. I could go in and get some fluids but I'm going to see how today goes. No work again today. Up and at it again for another day. Got some food in me and enjoying a cup of tea. Yes I said tea! 😁Another day of resting coming up. I'll have updates on scan and how I'm dealing with the low energy. Let's get through this! Anger can sometimes be a gift! 😀

4-20-2025 Happy Easter! I made it to another one. I will not take this one for granted. I'm going to enjoy this day with the family and be grateful I'm still grinding. Friday still felt a little rough from treatment week and skipped the basketball games. As you know I can't sit still so I pushed it to get some yard work done and really paid for it. I haven't pushed it like that in some time. Had a problem with my gums bleeding from over doing it. Got a little nervous at first thinking I was coughing up blood, but it was from my gums. Everything is a battle right now. I made it down for all three of the Cure games yesterday. The boys ran it out and won the tourney. Even though I stepped back this travel season watching these boys is a huge help for me. They have no clue now but maybe one day they will understand how much they helped me get through another phase. I was cashed when I got home yesterday. I napped for about 2 hours and felt down. Then the night hyper man came out. No idea where it came from, but I turned into a ball of energy. Slept pretty decent again and enjoying my cup of coffee. Weak this morning but better than Friday or yesterday. Hoping to get this scan scheduled soon. At least I will get another break this week from my everyday injections. Hope everyone enjoys the day. I'll have updates on the scan and how my energy is holding up. I'm not stopping yet! 💪

4-17-2025 Just got up about an hour ago. Decent night of sleep. I was feeling down yesterday. Kind of like a zombie. Hopefully today I can bounce back a bit. No work for me the rest of the week. I'm not going to chance it. We'll shoot for next Monday. Right now, trying to pace around the house and not go insane! I hydrated and got all my morning meds in. Still waiting to hear about when my scan will be scheduled. Just going to relax today. Maybe get some albums in. We'll see where the day takes me. Like I said a thousand times before, I'm hour to hour these days. I've been using my anger/rage to get through this annoying run. You have to do whatever you can to keep going!

Song of the Day - Megadeth - Angry Again

4-15-2025 Late afternoon post for a treatment day. No live update today. White and Red counts are still really low and I'm not talking about wine. 😁 Platelets still sitting at 33. Pretty surprising I'm still maintaining my weight for now. I was 169.8 this morning. Trying like hell to stay over that 170 or more mark but it's just not happening. We had a long talk with the doctors today. My low energy is pretty normal for where my blood counts are at. He said those numbers along with the aggressive disease can put me on my ass. I'm not at a point yet to get a blood transfusion or platelet transfusion. I do have to hydrate more and make it a point to get more fluids in me than I've been. They put my order in for my next scans! Hopefully I get them sooner than later. One good sign is Doc was able to get the 3rd line Zolbetuximab into the local HC in case my scans show this spreading like wildfire. The sad news of the day is Dr. Khalid is leaving in a few weeks and moving to Texas. He's been with us from the start of my treatment. Can't thank him enough for everything he has done. He has a major part along with many others on why I'm still here. I'll still be in good hands with the staff at the Hope Center. They are all aware of my case for sure. Today was full steam ahead and business as usual. They hit me up with a bag of fluids which I hope will help me in the short term. Had my steroids then I got my Ramucirumab treatment. Based on how I was feeling going into today, treatment was pretty tough. I didn't even want to post from the HC. I was kind of just taking everything in watching the packed house of others dealing with this cancer bullshit. It's like a cancer drive through. You want the #2 chemo combo? Please drive through. Not sure where that just came from. 😊 Then I fell asleep in my recliner. Came home and crashed for two more hours. I'm up now. For how long not sure. I'm feeling ok just weak. We're just going to grind it out and get through this day. How much more can this body take? We're about to find out!

4-14-2025 We made it through another busy weekend. Got my ass out of bed this morning and made it to work. Saturday I was in Slippery Rock at G and Joey's games. Came home from the games and rested for a bit. We got to see my in laws again on Saturday night. They had a bus trip benefit to Pittsburgh for my family. I'm not going to drop names on here but thank you to those who set this up! You know who you are. We greatly appreciate it. A total surprise to me and the family. Once again showing that there are great people out there. People you don't even know helping out and showing support. Wish I can personally thank each and everyone of you! It's just another thing in this journey my family will never forget. Gives me more reason to give back and hope to those just diagnosed. Saturday night was a tough one physically. Felt really faint and nausea. It was a feeling I haven't had in a while. My body was telling me something for sure. My gums are still bleeding every now and then. Yesterday was ok. Not feeling the best but made it to the games. The boys got the ship yesterday. Proud of the boys! More lessons learned this weekend about people. I guess having a different perspective on things now makes me sit back a little more and see the room better. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. 😁Got to see my brother again last night before he heads back home. Got a decent sleep and here we are again for another day. Another day fighting my ass off. Back to the Hope Center tomorrow. Curious on my weight and bloodwork. We'll see about treatment. Updates again tomorrow. 💪

Song of the Day - Wreckx -N- Effect - Rump Shaker

4-11-2025 Up early today. Good night of sleep. I was able to make it up to work! Not even close to 100% but better than yesterday and Wednesday. Getting some data out and trying to help out at the lab as much as I can today. Nothing else crazy today. I'll head home and get my snooze in. My in laws will be in town so we'll be visiting with them tonight. Always look forward to seeing them. Should be a fun Friday night! I just hope to have the same energy later as I do now. Joey and G both have tournament games in Slippery Rock this weekend. I'm hoping to get some hoops in again. 💪

Song of the Day - Beck - Loser

4-10-2025. No work again today. Back to back rough nights leading to me sleeping in. Got up after 10am this morning. Feeling a little better today but that's not saying much. Hope I can keep feeling better a little at a time. Time to get back to the basics of love! 😀 That's for all you music fans! One foot in front of the other. I'll try not to go crazy on this rainy shitty day. Maybe some tunes or crack on this Beatles puzzle.

Song of the Day - David Bowie - Rebel Rebel

4-9-2025 No work today. I did not roll out of the rack until 11am. I'm starting to call this the Wednesday crash. So exhausted. Just couldn't get out of bed this morning. Once I got up had some trouble breathing but seems to be better now. My crazy mind was dead set on getting some of the yard done. I managed to get about half of the one side done. Only a couple passes at a time then a break. 😀

Talk about pushing it! I got a long way to go. Not bad for 40 degree weather. Thanks to Sam who came over and finished the rest of the front for me. A huge help. Feeling ok now that the blood is pumping a bit and the juices are flowing. Since I got up so late maybe I'll skip my usual afternoon nap. Time to relax and see what tomorrow brings.

Song of the Day - The Police - King of Pain

4-8-2025. Late night Tuesday post. I got back to back days in at work. Energy not the best but I got through about two half days. Felt like I was able to help out and got some things accomplished. The 50 mile hike home has been the big challenge yesterday and today. Both days were about the same. Tired as hell when I got home and napped both days for about three hours. They were the naps that didn't make you feel better if that makes any sense. Still feeling sluggish I hit the shower and then the evening hyper Minno came out! So weird what has been going on. So much going on in this head of mine right now it might explode! Doing everything I can to keep my head up and stay away from the dark moments. I've been thinking a lot about my family and how they're going to deal with this down the road. Have to stay mentally tough! Having my brother Joe in town and visiting the last few nights has helped me out and passed some time. Tonight Amanda and I will watch some Netflix. I'm going to try and get another day of work in tomorrow. Let's go get it done! Not stopping yet!!! 💪

4-6-2025 Relaxing Sunday! No hoops today. I made it down for both games in Pittsburgh yesterday. Crashed for a bit when I got home and watched the final four. Got out of bed around 10:30 this morning. Hoping a chill out day will give me a little boost of energy. I still feel like I can just sleep all day long. I probably wouldn't have made hoops today if we would have had a game. I don't have to worry about the yard with all this shitty weather. Maybe I can at least get the mower out and ready. 😁We got to see my cousin Chris, his son Sal and Aunt Anna Marie Friday night. He was in from Columbus to visit. Always a joy catching up with them! Time to lay around. Try to start the new week tomorrow by heading to work but who knows how I'll feel.

4-4-2025. Not a chance in hell of making it up to the lab today. Days are getting tougher and tougher. Hopefully I can snap out of this soon. I didn't get out of bed today until 11am. That's super late for me. My body must be telling me something. My crazy ass was thinking about getting some of the yard done between the raindrops. Can't even do that which will drive me nuts all weekend. Not enough energy to even get the mower out. On a brighter note had some good talks today with friends which really raised my game. Always helps to have people in your corner. I'm hoping to see my cousin Chris this evening who is in from Columbus. It's always great catching up with him. Let's grind out another day and see if I can make some bball games this weekend. 💪

4-3-2025 Quick evening post. Made it to work for a few hours today. Hope I can back it up tomorrow. Got my two-hour nap in when I got home. Reflux was pretty bad today. First time I had an issue with that in some time. Time for more rest and the nightly family chats. 😀

Song of the Day - Prince - 7

4-2-2025 Got home from treatment yesterday and did my usual 3-hour nap. I was pretty wiped out. I bounced back a bit in the evening and had a decent night of sleep. Weak this morning but got up to see the kids off to school. Got my CEA results back and I'm not sure what to think. Came back at 4.2...It was down to 2.4 in January and 4.1 last October. At least it's not through the roof or at 50 like it was last July. It seems like it could be going up a bit without the Taxol but once again I'm no doctor. No shots scheduled to raise blood levels. I'll get another break until April 15th unless I get a call to go in for some reason. I'm going to try like hell to get stronger. Just so hard with this low energy and breathing when I do too much. Plus, this bone pain is not helping. Hopefully we'll be scheduling the next scan within the next month and get some answers. Still chugging along. Rest today and try to make it up to work tomorrow. My mind is going in a million directions right now. Have to stay focused and grind like no other!

Song of the Day - America - Ventura Highway

4-1-2025. Wish this was an April fool's joke but it's not. This bone pain is starting to get annoying! Sitting back in in my recliner at the Hope Center getting another treatment. Just got my bag of steroids. Next up will be the RAM. Should be here for a couple hours. Bloodwork is about the same as last time. Red and White blood cells are super low. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. Hard to believe I'm still tanked even without the Taxol. My platelets are 31 which is a bit lower than last time. We just can't get these platelets to go up. My chances of clotting and healing up are once again pretty low. I did weigh in at 170 lbs with all my clothes on. I'll take it. They did order another CEA test. Let's just hope that doesn't go through the roof. Last time it dropped big time down to 4. We'll see if it will be time to sound the alarms or not. I'll get out of here and go relax. Maybe some tunes this afternoon. I logged in 39 full albums in April. I'll keep everyone updated on CEA results.

Song of the Day - Eminem - Not Afraid

3-31-2025 Not the best way to start the week and end the month of March. I didn't have a great night of sleep. I was up every hour or so. I didn't roll out the rack until 10 or so this morning. That leads to a no work depression day. Drives me crazy! The busy weekend must have caught up with me. Rest today until I get some energy to move around. Back at it tomorrow morning for bloodwork and my RAM treatment. Updates from Hope Center tomorrow morning.

Song of the Day - INXS - Don't Change

3-30-2025 Another prime-time evening post. Busy weekend for this beat up body. Great tournament for the boys this week in Wadsworth. Lost the ship but once again they played really well this weekend. Yesterday we made it down there around 8:30 am and didn't get home until 5 or so. Talk about exhausted! In some sick way I love it. I was more of a spectator yesterday. Good move considering it's getting harder to make it to everything. This morning was a carbon copy of yesterday. Up early and with the good run we had didn't get home until after 4. I came home and within 15 minutes was out for the count. Down goes Minno! I slept for about 3-4 hours. So here we are late Sunday night and I'm just waking up. This should be an interesting night of sleep. I'm sure with the full house we have I will be entertained for the next few hours. Plan on making it to lab in morning but we'll see how I feel in the morning. One more day to let the body rest before heading back to the Hope Center. Let's go everyone! Let's make this new week a good one!

3-28-2025. Friday evening post. After my rough Wednesday I bounced back strong yesterday and today. Made it to the lab to finish off the the week. Not bad for a walking stage 4 man! I also got to see Samantha play some softball yesterday for a few innings and this afternoon hit Joey's student/faculty bball game. I did manage to get a nap in before which helped out a ton. I'm hitting that wall again right now. Time to rest and maybe watch some March madness. Take my meds and sleep. We'll have a full weekend of hoops. I hope I feel good enough to make it to everything. Throat is still a bit sore and getting a little back pain. I'll have updates on the weekend!

3-26-2025 I'm not being dramatic but the fact I got to post this evening is a win. I had a great two day run of feeling ok and making it up to work. So much for hitting my goal and making it up five days in a row. Slept good last night but felt really low this morning. So weak struggled to gey moving! Not sure where these days of having nothing in me are coming from. Don't worry I have a pretty good idea but I can't go down that road right now. Amanda was working a night shift so I got to see the kids off to school. Then I crashed from about 8-11am. So tired, no energy, just one of those days. These days are so hard for me. It's about as close to a depression day that I can experience. All kind of shit runs through my head on days like this. My docs said long ago I'll know when it's time to start listening to my body. That time is here. Time to get the bull head out and see if I can make it in to work tomorrow. Cancer! You got me today! If you're planning on going back to back tomorrow, I'll be ready for you!!! 💪

Song of the Night - Billy Joel - I Go to Extremes

3-24-2025. Monday morning and back at it for another week. I''m going to try and make it to work everyday this week but we'll see how I feel. Week off from RAM or heading to the HC. Not the greatest night of sleep but I'll take it. Feeling ok this morning just a problem with the bleeding gums right now. Hoping to bounce back strong today and get a few things done at the lab. The boys lost the championship game yesterday. They played great and I'm super proud of them. What a different perspective I have on winning /losing right now compared to how I used to be. As long as the try as hard as they can that's all that matters. I guess everyone will learn sooner or later. Let's keep it going this week! I'm having one of those 'glad to be on this side of the dirt mornings'!!!

Song of the Day - Led Zeppelin - Hey, Hey, What Can I Do

3-23-2025 I came into this weekend a wounded lamb now I'm coming out of it like a lion! 😁Friday after my third shot I felt really down. I honestly thought I was in big trouble. Very weak and tired. Trouble breathing just walking up the dam steps. Couldn't even get all my pills down. That combined with the low red blood cells beat me up. Friday evening, I laid on the recliner around 7pm and was out until yesterday morning. I did manage to get my ass on the couch to lay upright sometime during the night. Like I say it felt like someone hit me with a bag of bricks and knocked me out. Yesterday morning I bounced back a little. After a sluggish morning start, I made it to help coach our team for back-to-back games. Also got to check the end of G's second game out. That is just what the doctor ordered! Yesterday afternoon through the evening I had all this energy. Not sure where the hell it came from, but I felt so much better than Thursday and Friday. I was able to get food down without any problems which also felt great! Decent night of sleep in my own bed. Not the recliner or couch. Up and at it early today with good energy. I hydrated pretty good this morning and got my first set of pills in already. I will make it to our tournament this afternoon and get another week of helping out in the books. I'm sure this evening will be rest time. The roller coaster continues. Make sure you buckle up! 😁

3-20-2025 Late night post. Last night was another rough one with the sleep. Same as the night before. I was up from around 1am to 4am. Got my 2nd shot in today. Just really worn out today. I can check off another box tonight. I made it to Samantha's NHS ceremony. She got inducted in tonight for her junior year. Just another reason to keep pumping along! Final shot tomorrow then hopefully a nice break!

3-19-2025 What a weird day after treatment yesterday. I came home and slept for about 5 hours. Got up and felt fine for a bit. Laid around watching some hoops till about 10pm then crashed on the recliner till 1am. Dozed off again 4am till a little after 5. Crazy night of rest to say the least! Amanda back at work last night so I'm up with the kids getting them off to school. One of those little things I don't take for granted anymore. My mind is also racing thinking of my bloodwork yesterday. Two weeks without the treatment and levels are still super low. This body can't fight shit anymore. Is it from the bone mets that I can't produce higher numbers without these shots? How much longer do I have? Sounds crazy talk but sometimes that goes through this head. Talk about a mental battle going on in this head right now. This is where I'm so grateful for the people who have been through this and are still fighting this mess. The ones I've connected because of this blog and the groups on social media. You guys reaching out means the world. I have people I've never met checking in on me. Like I've known them forever. My goal was to help at least one person out with this blog. I've definitely accomplished that. I never thought it would help me out so much. Heading out this afternoon to start these injections again. Hoping to give my levels a boost. With all this smoke I'm letting out I do feel better this morning. Let's knock the dust off today and get moving a little. I'm sure a nap also. 😁Grind and have positive thoughts for my next scan in a month or so. 💪

Song of the Day - Bob Seger - Against the Wind

3-18-2025. Back at it. Treatment Tuesday. Not being here for two weeks is really weird. Feels like I haven't been here in months. Time to focus and get back at it. Bloodwork is about the same. Platelets are at 32 with low white counts and neutrophils. That's about par for the course. I weighed in at 172 with all my clothes on. I'll take it. Had a good talk with doctor today. I will get the RAM every two weeks until my next scan and we'll go from there. My throat may still be irritated from the scope so he's ordering my favorite shots tomorrow through Friday. He said with the low white cell counts the shots might help with the throat. Just got the port poked and we're off and running. Giving me a bag of steroids now then I'll get the Cyramza (Ramucirumab). Time to take a snooze then get out of here. I'll probably rest when I get home. Actually, I'll probably have lazy day at home Tuesday unless these roids kick in! Who knows? We'll get through today then back at it tomorrow with the injections again. Getting harder and harder but it's time to keep this head up. 💪

Song of the Day - Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run

3-17-2025 Happy St. Patricks' Day! We made it to another one. I felt pretty good this weekend. Had good energy. The eating issues with the bad reflux has been tough. This has been happening more since the scope. I'm taking a lot more pills for this but still having issues. Having a problem with the gums bleeding again the last few days. Made it to Joey/G's games this weekend. Not sure if that's keeping me ticking anymore. Love the boys but we'll keep it at that. I don't want to give a speech on how adults should act. Maybe watching an after school special might help some of these people out. 😁I will say there are bigger fish to fry! Saturday evening, we met with our cousins and had a blast! Made it to work Friday and going to head up again this morning. I'm on a pretty good run with work. Tomorrow the streak will end as I head back in for treatment. It's going to be tough after feeling stronger the last week or so. Big step yesterday and highlight of the weekend was getting Zeke on a walk. First time in a few months I had the juice to get the heart pumping. Updates tomorrow on treatment from the HC. We'll see whet doc has to say. Halfway through March and I'm not done yet! 💪

3-14-2025 Another two great days back-to-back. Not sleeping the best but feeling good. Really good energy. I made it to work every day but Tuesday this week. Heading up this morning also. Some pain in the back but nothing crazy. I did get to throw some light weights around. Really light! Going to enjoy this Friday then maybe hit a family St. Patty's Day party later tonight. All depending on how I feel. Looking forward to watching the boys play some hoops this weekend. Like I said watching. 😁Gave G and Joey the speech last night. Go as hard as you can and don't let anyone tell you you can't accomplish something. Or to small! Just go rip some heads off! That's my mentality and hope one day they will get it They were overdue for a dad/uncle speech. Done with my morning pump up sermon. It's so weird trying to get as much normal as I can in before next week. Let's get through the weekend. I'll have updates on my weekend activities and how much I can push this body!

Song of the Day - George Harrison - Got My Mind Set On You

3-11-2025. Late night post tonight. After five days of a somewhat normal life I hit the wall this morning. No rest last night. That led to me not making work this morning and resting most of the morning/afternoon. As you know it really pisses me off. I guess I'm really starting to listen to my body. When it shuts down it takes everything in me to get going. Now that I got my depression day out of the way I can focus on tomorrow and the rest of the week. I'm going to try and attack tomorrow like no other. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully soft serve boy doesn't come out again tomorrow. Translation...weak ass man!!! I have to take advantage and enjoy this week off from treatment. This dam throat just will not heal up. Another annoying thing to deal with. One thing I've learned there are different battles everyday. with this bullshit. So far I can still take it so bring it on! I know keyboard tough guy talking smack. 🤪 10:30pm and now getting some energy. Time for some earphones and heavy metal. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Song of the Night - Pink -Try

3-10-2025 We made it through our first tournament yesterday. I felt pretty good this weekend. We lost in the semi-finals. The boys played hard and couldn't be more proud of them. Can't say the same for everyone involved. Sometimes the fun can be sucked out of the gym by certain people. No wonder it's hard for these kids to have some fun. Don't get me started! 😁 Believe me there's not many people more competitive than me. A big part of why I'm still on this side of the dirt. Let's just try and keep everything in perspective. A big step for me making this tournament. We got home last evening and I did 30 reps of arms. I'm so weak! Baby steps. I also made it back up to work today. Trying to keep this energy all week. Week off of treatment. We'll see how this body will react. 💪

Song of the Day - Metallica - The Unforgiven II

3-8-2025. Days like this keeps me pushing. I was right in my comfort zone all day. We played three tournament games in Akron. Thought I would be super tired tired when I got home but I'm actually wired up. A little too pumped up! We went 2-1 and have the second seed going into tomorrow. Just being around the boys and hoops gives me energy. Another big day tomorrow. I hope I feel as good tomorrow as I did today. It all starts with getting some good rest tonight. 💪

3-7-2025 Another early morning. Had some great company last night. Really helps me get my mind off this mess for a bit Heading up to work this morning. Back-to-back days. Not bad for a treatment week. I talked with Doc from the clinic last evening and we went over my last scan and treatment options. Long story short he felt good about my last scan. Good in the way that the lymph nodes looked better with the bone mets looking the same. He will put a note in for me to stay on RAM every two weeks until my next scan. Next scan should be in a month or two. We are putting the Taxol away for a while. All the chemo I've had is beating me up and driving my counts down. It's kind of discouraging going into another chapter but I'm ready. Not sure what to expect in the the next few months. We'll see if I can get stronger. Not feeling that strong this morning that's for sure. They did get the zolbetuximab at the Clinic. That's the new drug that just got FDA approved. He has done a couple cases and said it's causing some bad nausea with some patients. I'm not there yet. Time to enjoy the next few weeks before treatment on the 18th. Ready for a weekend of hoops! I've been looking forward to this. Keeps me rolling. 💪

Song of the Day - Live - Selling the Drama

3-5-2025 Up and at it early today. It's about par for the course even though I just got the RAM. Just run down not sick. We made it through 7 cycles of the Taxol which equals twenty-one treatments with that chemo. I'm guessing half of those with the RAM. Not to mention the 12- 13 Foflox treatments I had. Now on to the next chapter. Glad I'm still here to start another one. We'll see what doc from the clinic says tonight. My next treatment of RAM is not scheduled for two weeks. At least for the next week or so it might get boring for anyone following. People tend to follow and reach out more when you're getting treatment or going through a gauntlet. It's just human nature and most that do connect truly understand. That was the point of this blog from the start. To show someone beginning this battle they can get to this point almost three years later. Be as tough mentally as you possibly can and when your down find it to dig just a little deeper! Done with my morning rant. 😁 If I can it will be about getting stronger, making it up to work, making it to our tournament in Akron this weekend, and getting ready for what will be the next line to keep me on this side of the dirt! Starting with baby steps. Just light walking right now takes it out of me. I'll bust my ass to get back at it! Done with all my morning horse pills. Relax today and make it to practice this evening. I'll have updates on what doc says this evening.

Song of the Day - U2 - Mysterious Ways

3-4-2025. Treatment Tuesday! Had a good talk with the docs today. For the first time in months, we changed up the plan. I will be getting just the RAM. No more Taxol for the time being. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. They are going to try this because the Taxol is what is driving my counts so low and the reason I need the shots every day. With the mets to the bones my bone marrow is affecting my counts. No more injections for a while. Remember the quality-of-life topic we talked about before? This is a good example of that. You have to live a little, right? We'll see if my blood levels can hold up and maybe get a little stronger. Neutrophils and white counts still low even with last week's injections. My platelets are only 38. Just started my fluids and steroids. Next will be the RAM then we'll be out of here! It's an early release day at the HC. Let's rebound and move on to this new chapter. Meeting with doc from the clinic tomorrow evening. I'll have updates on what he says.

Song of the Day - Talking Heads - Once In a Lifetime

3-3-2025 March is here! Still moving. Had a little more energy this weekend. Every day this weekend seemed to get a little better. It's nice having a three-day break from going in and not getting injections, bloodwork, etc. My throat is still jacked up. I'm thinking it's from the scope and not being able to heal up quickly. Getting food down and swallowing all these horse pills can be a task sometimes. Saturday night got up around 4am with the sweats again. No idea why this happening. I was soaked. Showered and stayed up. For some strange reason I felt ok yesterday. Made it to our Team Cure practice and got a decent night of sleep last night. our first tournament is this upcoming weekend in Akron. Hopefully I will make it for all the games. Today good energy and made the 50 mile hike to the lab! Feels so good to get up here and be normal for a day! Sounds crazy but I really miss the everyday grind at work. Rest this afternoon and get ready for treatment tomorrow. Just when I start to feel ok it's back to it. I'll have updates in the morning from the Hope Center. I also have a meeting with Dr. McNamara from the Clinic Wednesday evening. Got 44 full albums in February and finally finished the Dave Grohl book I've been reading.

Song of the Day - Allman Brothers Band - No One To Run With

2-27-2025 Trying to get to the finish line in February. It's been sleep, sleep, sleep until daddy takes the Sleep # bed away! Yesterday no work. Got up early after a night in the recliner. Dozed back off till 10:30 or so. Today was a carbon copy of yesterday morning. This time my nap was almost till noon. Planning on going to work and not making it gets me steamed up. Feels like I'm letting people down including myself. I just don't have the energy after this crazy week. I did make it to our Team Cure practice last night. Couldn't do much of anything but I was there! This afternoon I seem to be bouncing back a bit. How long this will last, we'll see. Got my shots yesterday and today. One more shot tomorrow than I can look forward to a two-day break. Hope this Carafate and bigger dose of pantoprazole will help take this inflammation in my throat and belly down a notch. If I can get through this rough stretch, I'll be the happiest man in the STR. 😁 People affected by this shit have a great understanding of what goes on behind closed doors. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Not only for me but family and friends seeing me go through this. There are many dark days and nights. It's not all Fight! Battle! Kick Ass 24/7. I'm not stroking myself, but you have to have a certain mindset to keep pushing. I'll find it somewhere to keep going until I completely shut down. Ok enough preaching! Rest tonight and hopefully get some food down. Let's hope tomorrow will be a better day!

Song of the Evening - Ordinary World - Duran Duran

2-25-2025. I was too tired to post last evening. Doc did the procedure. Pretty smooth day as far as the procedure went. He dilated me to 20mm. Not sure were I started at. I had a ton of inflammation from reflux. He is giving me a new medication and upping my dose of reflux medicine. Just what I need, more pills to take! We're hoping this was causing my trouble getting food/drink down my throat. The constant backup along with the chest infection was causing all kinds of issues. I'm so glad I had this done yesterday. It was way overdue. Honestly I wasn't sure I'd be around to see another scope. But here I am over a year later and still ticking. There was nothing of concern in my esophagus except for the inflammation. Now we can focus on making a comeback! We had a great meeting with Doc before the procedure and went over a ton of questions. Even Dr. Raja was surprised this shit came back in my bones. Most of my dealings will be with Dr. Khalid HC) and Dr. McNamara (clinic) to keep me ticking. I slept the whole ride in then crashed out for another 4 hours when we got home. Today pretty lightheaded but walking around pretty good. No rest for the wicked. I'll be heading back to the Hope Center soon for my shot. Only four more shots to do before the weekend. 😀 After a couple of dark days my head is back in the game. Let's get through the week!

Song of the Day - John Lennon - (Just Like) Starting Over

2-23-2025. Big day in Cleveland tomorrow. We head up to Hillcrest Hospital to meet Dr. Raja and see if he will perform my Endoscope. A scope down my pie hole to check everything out. I'm hoping he will be able to stretch out my belly/esophagus to make it easier for me to eat and drink. He was the surgeon who performed my esophagectomy back in 2022. I'm way overdue for a scope. I was supposed to have one last March but with the stage 4 diagnosis it was the last thing everyone was concerned about. Believe or not I'm here for another scope. No food or drink after midnight tonight which sucks the you know whats. We have to be there at 10:30. Procedure is at 11:30. I'll have updates later tomorrow evening. I managed to bounce back yesterday and have a pretty good day. Had some good energy. I made it out to see my man Jeff at the record connection and snatched up a few vinyls. I also gave Zeke a good ride in the car. First time in a while. Today made it to our 7th/8th grade pizza party for just a short time. From there we headed to our first travel basketball practice for Team Cure. One practice down and 7 more weeks to go. 💪 Let's see how much I can handle. I'll give it my best shot. Let's get focused on tomorrow. Just another day in the life. 😀

Song of the Night - Journey - Girl Can't Help It

2-21-2025. Mental day yesterday. Got my bloodwork done and platelets are only at 33. This treatment really tanks me. Still not sure if he'll do the scope/stretch on Monday. The thing is I have to go Tuesday through Friday for my daily shot. That't really getting in my craw if you know what I mean! So I have to get these injections just to get this line of treatment. Not sure how much more I can take. Every day is a tester. At least the weekend is here and I get a two day break. I'm going to try and get out of this mental funk. Maybe get moving and go look at some vinyl.

Song of the Day - Sweet - Fox on the Run

2-20-2025 Not the greatest night of sleep. A little sluggish today. It feels like the good old two-day chemo hangover. Moving around as much as I can. My chest is feeling much better today which is a bonus. I go back in tomorrow for bloodwork and possibly another shot. No word from Cleveland yet regarding Monday's scope. Hope to find something out. If not, I guess we'll be heading up to the Clinic on Monday. I hope to start feeling better once I get moving and the blood flowing a bit.

2-19-2025 After treatment yesterday I slept for about 5 hours. Around 12:30 to almost 5:30. Out like a light. The Hope Center staff wore my Team Cure t-shirts yesterday for me. Got to me but of course I had to hold back and put on my tough guy face. 😁Seeing them almost every day they become like family. They don't get nearly enough credit for what they do on an everyday basis. They are for sure one of the main reasons I didn't go ace deuce a year ago. We're still plowing through. After being a little down yesterday I managed to eat pretty good last evening. I also had a good night of sleep. So good I didn't get myself off the couch until 9:30am. I'm up moving around right now. One foot in front of the other. You know the thing I hate more than anything is laying around. But my body is telling me to chill today. For a day after treatment, I'm not really sick just weak and tired. Who knows if I get a second wind later maybe I'll go throw some light weights around. 😁No shot today or tomorrow. I go back in Friday for bloodwork and see if I need another round of injections. Monday's scope in Cleveland is still up in the air. Haven't heard anything back yet if they will do the procedure. When you think you have nothing left in the tank dig deeper and keep pushing! 💪

Song of the Day - James Brown - I Got You (1964 Smash Version)

2-18-2025. Treatment Tuesday! After two weeks off we're back at it. Bloodwork is good thanks to the shots. My platelets holding at 44. This everyday battle is starting to get to me. This morning was another rough one with the cough and chest congestion. I was up around 5am hacking away. It's always worse in the morning. Hopefully Cleveland can figure something out about this scope next week. I for sure need a dilation. Not much to chat about today. We did not meet with doctor. Just rolled in for bloodwork and right into the infusion room. I weighed in at 173 pounds with all my clothes on. How I'm gaining this weight back is a mystery to me. Sure doesn't feel like I am. Nothing wrong with me getting fat these days! That's a good thing and a small win for the day. I just got hooked up to my first bag. I should be here for about 4 hours today. I will be getting both today. Taxol and Ram. As shitty as I felt coming here this morning, I'm a little better now. Now I'm in fight mode again. Pissed/pumped up talking to this chemo saying bring it on! Yes I get goofy sometimes. 😀 Now time to lay back and rest. Get home and probably crash the rest of the day. Let's get another one in the books. 💪

Song of the Day - Guns N' Roses - Mr. Brownstone

2-16-2025. Slept pretty well the last few nights. Rest really did me good this weekend. I got out yesterday to do some of the driveway with some help. Thanks again Sam. We did a few things around the house but nothing crazy. Amanda and I hit the store. That was about it to end an exciting weekend. 😀 My chest is still a little jacked up but getting better. I just hope each day I show some improvement. I'm going to try and make it three workdays in a row. After work I'll head to get my shot. Then we'll head back in for treatment Tuesday. Time to relax and watch the SNL 50th special. Let's see how long I can stay awake. Hopefully I'm coming out of this 2-month funk. We'll see what tomorrow brings!

Song of the Night - blink 182 - One More Time

2-14-2025 Happy V's Day. Just got back from my fourth day shots this week. One more on Monday then treatment on Tuesday. What a grind! The shots are working. My bloodwork today showed my neutrophils and white counts are up. Now I can look forward to two days of not heading in to get pinched. Even the human pin cushion needs a few days off. I made it to work yesterday and today for about three hours. A big win for me. I went right from work to the Hope Center both days. The Clinic called me this afternoon and they will let me know next week what Dr. Raja says about my low platelets and see if he'll still do the scope. With my chest and swallowing I think it's time for one. A weekend of R&R would be nice. We'll see. Might have some snow coming so you know what that means! 😁

Song of the Day - Luke Combs - When it Rains it Pours

2-12-2025. Last night was another rough one. Hit the sack around 10 and slept till 9:30am I was planning on work but no chance in hell I could have made it. Not sure if the shot got me or just the tanked bloodwork. Such a weird feeling right now. Lightheaded and weak even with no treatment. It's like I'm in a no-win situation. Get treatment that knocks me on my ass and kills my counts or no treatment/shots which beats me up. Got my second Releuko injection of the week and so far, I'm feeling a bit better this evening than last night. Three more days of shots then treatment on Tuesday. Looks like I'll be at the Hope Center every day for almost two weeks. Once again, we'll see how much this body can take. Plan tomorrow is to get my ass up early hit work then go get my shot. We'll see. No idea what the morning will bring.

Song of the Day - Van Halen - Right Now

2-11-2025 For the second week in a row no treatment. Kind of a letdown for me today because I really pumped myself up to get through this week of treatment I'll have to wait till next week. The mental battle continues. My platelets are holding at 42 without the doptelet. My neutrophils are all the way down to 592 and white count at 1.7. Super low and no chance of treatment today. I'm blaming myself because I didn't get the shots last week. This human pin cushion just needed a break. This 2nd line treatment is obviously tanking my counts. I did weigh in at 170.2 pounds. That was with all my clothes on. I did manage to force it down and gain back my 8-9 pounds I lost from last month. I consider that a bonus. They gave me my first shot of five today to boost the counts for next week's treatment. I scheduled my shots for the afternoons just in case I can get up to work sometime this week. I'm going to focus on getting stronger every day and kicking this things ass! We also finished our rec bball season last night. We took one on the chin but couldn't be more proud of these of boys. I finished another year of coaching and helping out. Time will tell if I can keep it rolling for spring hoops. I'm sure going to try. Time to focus and have a normal week. 💪

Song of the Day - Robert Tepper - No Easy Way Out

2-10-2025. What a difference a few can make. Had every intention on heading up to work this morning but not the best of nights. Had the night sweats. Got up early not feeling the worst but I don't think the drive is worth it today. Listening to my body but really pisses me off! Another win for the C word. I'm already thinking about what's in store for me tomorrow. Hope this body can handle another round. Updates tomorrow from the HC.

Song of the Day - Mumford & Sons - Lovers' Eyes

2-9-2025. Late night post to end the week. Had a good weekend and I'm really starting to get some energy. Chest is better. I can actually breath without my heart pounding out of my chest. Friday I made the trip to work for the first time in a few weeks. A big step for me with how I've been feeling lately. I backed it up Saturday by making our tournament game in South Range. The boys got the W and now we'll play in the semis tomorrow night in Poland. Almost made it through another rec season which for me is hard to believe. Besides missing some practices the last month, I grinding it out and had a blast. Made it this morning for a quick practice. The family and I relaxed and watched the bowl. I enjoy every second when we all just sit around and bs. I've also been eating much better the last three days. Trying to bulk up for the big day on Tuesday. I'm so not looking forward to getting the full hitter especially when I'm just turning the corner and getting stronger. The Hope Center did contact Cleveland for a scope/stretch of my belly. I'm way overdue for one. That is scheduled for February 24th. Hope we can get some more answers from this scope. Let's hope they will even do the procedure with my platelets being so low. Struggling with the mental game lately but staying strong as I can. Doing some google searching and doom scrolling. I get through it by saying to myself everyone is different, and I've made it this far. Time for some rest. The plan is to head back up to work in the morning. 💪

Song of the Night - John Mellencamp - Authority Song

2-6-2025. Made it to practice yesterday. A good step forward for me. Still did not make it up to work today. I'm planning on heading up tomorrow and feel normal for a few hours. Even though some foods are tasting terrible I'm getting more calories in the last few days. Doc wants me to pack on a few before next week's beatdown. At least I'm getting around better. Been hitting my music and the puzzle to pass the time. Keeps me from going crazy! If these nose bleeds would stop, I would be in pretty good shape. Chest is finally starting to clear up. Just another day in my life. Starting over again one step at a time. Let's start the comeback! 💪

2-4-2025 No live post from Hope Center today. After a good talk with doc we decided to skip treatment this and get full throttle next week. Next Tuesday I'm scheduled for Taxol/Ram and the good old Xgeva injection. I will also be getting the four days of shots for my neutrophils. Next week will be a tough one. He was pleased with my scan. Everything is stable from last scan with improvement in the lymph nodes. I guess something is working and keeping me ticking. He talked about my chest infection and got me off the antibiotics. With my platelet count at 42 (up a bit from last week) he is taking me off the doptelet medication. Pretty strange how that medication doesn't work for me. My neutrophils also went down a ton with the treatment and me denying the shots last week. He gave me the choice to get treatment or not today. Amanda and I discussed it and we decided to take the week to get stronger and gain some weight. Hopefully it will turn out to be a good decision. I'm finally learning to listen to my body. Doc also wants me to consult back with Dr. Raja in Cleveland and see about getting my belly stretched because of my weight loss. It's the last thing I want to do right now but might not be a bad idea. Have to dig deep get energy and prepare for next week!

2-3-2025 I'm late to the party with the usual end of weekend Sunday post. Saturday was a morning of laying around. I did manage to make it to the fights Saturday evening. Great time with family and friends. I did make it through the whole card. Love watching these guys of all ages go at it. Like my dad always told me everyone's a tough guy until you put the gloves on. 😁 Proud of Aiden and Keith who put on two good fights. Yesterday was another day of taking it easy. I missed practice again yesterday which tells you where I'm at physically. Just getting in the shower the few days has worn me out. I know it's hard to believe. Got a little kick in my step last night as the family got some family pictures done. Another one of those moments you want to bottle up and gives me a reason to push more. Thanks Kerri. We really appreciate it! We followed that up with some dinner. A great way to end the weekend considering how I've been feeling. Today is a new day. I don't want to jinx it, but I have a little more gas in the tank That can change any hour for sure. I was planning on making it to work but not a chance right now. Last day of my antibiotics to clear up this chest infection. I'm still getting winded quick but not hacking as much. I'm planning on making it to our final regular season game tonight. Tomorrow back to the Hope Center. I meet with doc and we'll see about treatment. I should have some more information on my scan.

Song of the Day - Jon Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory

2-1-2025. February! The month for lovers. Sweet jeez did I just say that. 😀 Maybe chemo brain working early this week. Third day of antibiotic. Breathing a little easier but digging deep for a jolt of energy. Did get Zeke on another ride this afternoon. Fight night in the STR tonight at the field house. One of my favorite nights. I'll see how long I can make it. Hopefully I can make the entire card. Good luck to Aiden and Keith. Give it your best. Only 23 full albums in January. A big let down. Time to boost up the tunes for February.

Song of the Day - Pearl Jam - Alive

1-31-2025 Last day of the month. We just about made it through January 2025. Can't wait to get this month over with. It's been a brutal run. Scan results are in and just got off the phone with the Hope Center. Really appreciate them calling so early today. We got the results on My-Chart last evening. After self-diagnosing myself all night long got some good answers this morning. As expected not much change with the bone mets but seems to be holding serve for now. Lymph nodes are looking good and seem to be stable. The good news is the treatment may be working for the nodes. The bones are a different story but not a surprise. My scan showed increased nodules in my lung. That gave me instant anxiety thinking this shit is now in my lungs. With the call this morning they are saying it's more likely a pretty bad infection I've been dealing with for God knows how long. No wonder I've been down for the count lately. The infection along with the treatment was and still is beating my ass. They started me on an antibiotic last evening, and I have to say I can actually breath a bit better today. Not as much coughing. I will be on this antibiotic for the next four days. If this does not clear up, we'll take the next steps to see what this is on my lungs. We will do another follow up scan in a few months and see where we're at with all this chaos. So much shit going on my head is spinning. We also discussed my nosebleeds. If it continues or gets worse, I might have to head into the ER. Good luck with that. 😁They're thinking it's from my low platelet counts. Hopefully I'm not tanked. Last thing we want is to bleed out. The next step may be a platelet transfusion. I will find out next Tuesday where my counts are at. This disease has been a learning experience to say the least. With all this being said two more months have gone by and I'm still rolling along. Thanks to the HC for the call this morning! Congrats to my friend Cheryl who got some good news with her cancer this morning! So far a good day. Let's work on getting stronger today and get to the next scan in a couple months! 💪

Song of the Day - Sammy Hagar - Give to Live

1-30-2025 Rough night of sleep as expected. Got back from my scan then got about a one- hour nap in. That seemed to charge me up a bit. It's a weird feeling getting this scan done so soon. It's pain in the ass but I'm glad it's done with and maybe find out some decent news. Now we wait. Wait for the MyChart notification for the results. 😁Today I'm hoping to move around and get some tunes in. Maybe get to work tomorrow morning if I feel ok. Once again, it all depends on the day. I'll have updates when the results come in.

Song of the Day - Smashing Pumpkins - Today

1-29-2025. I thought I was getting a week off. Not the case. They did not waste no time getting me scheduled for another Cat-scan. Another night of scanxiety! They got me in at 10am tomorrow. They do want to get these done every couple of months now. It will be another couple stressful days to see if this shit is spreading more. I guess we'll worry about that in a few days and go from there. Sounds crazy but I'm finally getting more energy. Moving around much better and getting some calories down. Made it out to flip through some vinyl and hit the store with Amanda. I also made it out to Hubbard for both of our games. Both teams played great and both got the W! Maybe I can get some good rest tonight. It's tough on scan eve for sure. Updates in the next few days on what we have in front of us. The battle carries on!

Song of the Night - Queensryche - Silent Lucidity

1-28-2025 Here we go again. Live from the Hope Center. Ready to doze off already. Looking like a short post this morning. Add another treatment to the books. Just got all my bags of medication. Taxol chemo just entered the building. Who knows maybe I'll see Elvis leave the building today. 😄 My platelets are at 32 but they are still going to proceed with just the Taxol. No Ram today. That is every other week. They are giving me a week off getting the four day shots. Just not coming here everyday is a big mental win. After this is done I don't have to come back until next Tuesday. Doc prescribed me another medication for this hack. Hope it will work. Cough is not as bad but enough to drive me bat shit crazy! Bad news of the day is that I lost almost 8 pounds in one week. They seem pretty concerned about that. I have to start forcing food and calories down no matter what. I will also consult with Cleveland again about getting my tube belly a stretch. Not sure if they will touch me with the low platelet count. They are ordering scans again. They want to start doing scans every two months. With my eating and weight loss they want to make sure nothing was missed last time. 2025 and I'm already going through the meat grinder. No shots the rest of the week! Let's get this Taxol in me and run for the hills. It's going to be a day of rest for sure.

Song of the Day - Jackson Browne - Running on Empty

1-27-2025. Yesterday was a typical Sunday. I rested most of the day. I didn't make it to practice. I'm starting to find out what I can and can't do. My body tells me when it's shutdown time or I just physically need to stop. Today same old same old. Got my shot at the HC. This will start the everyday battle again to stay on this side of the dirt. Tomorrow I'm back in for bloodwork and scheduled for treatment. We'll see. I'm at a point now if they give me a break I'll take it. Funny how your mindset changes after all this fighting. You start to lean toward that quality-of-life bullshit. How much one can take and keep pushing. One thing that keeps me pushing is being around these boys during gametime. I made it to our game tonight and the boys played a great game against a really good team. Didn't get the W but no worries they played hard. As I said many times thanks to the STR staff for letting me help when I can. We got to go up against a few of the boys from our Team Cure team we had the last few years. So much fun and pumps me up going into hell's kitchen tomorrow morning. Updates tomorrow. 💪

Song of the Night - Limp Bizkit - Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)

1-25-2025. Seems like I've been posting more lately. Probably because my mind has been going crazy so far in 2025. The way I've been feeling lately doesn't help the mental game but I'm trying. Seems I'm just trying to make it through each day. Wake up see how I feel and motor through the day and night. Last night was totally different than the previous night. I didn't fall asleep until 2am and now up and at it early at 6:30. I feel better so far this morning than yesterday. Does that make any sense? A good night of sleeping upright on the couch might have been a good call but the day has just begun. I'm planning on making our practice this morning then we'll see where the day takes us. Got my third shot yesterday. I did end up getting bloodwork. The shots are working for to raise my counts up. Everything but my platelets of course. Platelets are down to 32 but that is without taking the doptelet for a few days. No wonder my energy is low. 😀 Let's work to get that back today. I sound like a broken record but have to stay positive.

Song of the Day - The White Stripes - We're Going to be Friends

1-24-2025 Hit the sack about 10pm last night. That is super early for me. I had the chills and just wasn't feeling right. Had a good night of sleep but this morning really weak. It feels like I got too much rest. I have to snap out of this. Up and at it early pounding my water and meds. I'm going to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and hope I can find some energy before I head to get my shot. For me, these are tough days. Sitting here no work, not moving just trying to recoup. Drives me crazy! I really miss the normal life. Ok enough crying and whining. Still early. I'll battle back. Maybe start with some tunes and mess with a puzzle. We'll see about making practice tonight! Thinking of my man Jeff today. Good luck with your MRI today!

Song of the Day - Weezer - Sat It Ain't So

1-23-2025. Another day in the life. I always wonder how I sometimes feel worse a few days after treatment. After a decent day yesterday, I didn't sleep very good last night. It was one of those up every hour or so starring at the walls. Early rise this morning around 5am. Had decent energy seeing the kids off to school. After that I crashed for about two hours. Felt worse when I got up from the nap. I just can't get rid of this chest congestion. It's really starting to piss me off! Thought my usual hot shower would get me going but still worn down. I made it for my 1pm shot at the Hope Center. i'm going to miss practice tonight. I better sit this evening out. I'll make it tomorrow and this weekend. The boys will have a big week of hoops next week. Looking forward to a better night of rest and start Friday off like a beast!

Song of the Day - Foo Fighters - These Days

1-22-2025 Back from day one of my daily shot. Treatment got me pretty good yesterday. Had the chills and sweats but for the most part I had a pretty good night of sleep. A little sluggish to start the day but I bounced back. As weak as I am my goofy ass got in twenty-five reps of triceps pulldowns. Have to push through, right? A little more running around then I will come home and lay around the rest of the night. I'm hitting the wall now and just want to get some more sleep. I can only push so much anymore. Got some pretty good news regarding my CEA test. They don't put much stock in it but it can monitor cancer in the body. They ran it back in June of 2024 and I was all the way to 50. Had it done again in October after being on the Taxol/Ram for a while and it went down to 4.8. Results came in today and yes everyone It's down to 2.8. 💪 First time in the green in some time. Not the best test but I'll take as many little wins as I can. At least it's not going up. Back at it tomorrow for shot number two. He also wants me to stop taking the doptelet for my platelets. Since they are so low he wants to see if the medication is even working. We'll know next week if I tank or not, but we have to find out. Every day is a battle. The constant roller coaster ride. 😁

Song of the Day - The Hollies - Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)

1-21-2025 (part 2) Figured I would give a quick update. A little banged up today. I slept during treatment for about an hour. Came home and slept for over five hours. Got the chills as usual but nothing too bad. Have to stay away from a fever. Just forced down some food and back to the couch. It's going to be a long night. Time for some earphones and tunes. Maybe it will snow, and I'll really have a challenge on my hands with doing the drive. If I do Amanda might murder me. 😀 Maybe we'll binge out on some Netflix. Back to the HC tomorrow afternoon to start another five days of shots, and I'm not talking about shots of bourbon. Updates tomorrow!

Current Listen - Bruce Springsteen - Brilliant Disguise

1-21-2025. Here we go. Port is poked and the bags are flowing. My bloodwork was ok. Neutrophils and blood counts still low but good enough to proceed with treatment. My platelets are still really low at 37 but they are going to give me the full hitter. They are also going to run the good old CEA test. Taxol and Ram today. More than likely I'm going to feel like shit the rest of the day. Hope I feel better than the last treatment. Another kick in the balls is that I have to get the five days of shots again to keep the counts up so I can get treatment again this. Week. Have to stay mentally strong this week. This shit is getting tougher and tougher. Sounds like fun! Time to take nap. I should be here another two/three hours. Got my bag sof fluid, nausea, Benadryl. They just started the Ram then we'll move on to the Taxol. L Might have an update later on my status. 2025 is coming in like a lion. Let's take one treatment at a time. My next scan should be sometime in February.

Song of the Day - Tom Petty - Wildflowers

1-20-2025 Rolling through January. Another relaxing weekend. Trying my ass off to feel better before I go back to the HC tomorrow morning. I'm scheduled for bloodwork and treatment again. Not sure if I want 2025 to be a carbon copy of 2024. Got some of my energy back but I can only do so much. It's so hard to push myself right now. I made it to basketball practice Saturday morning. I did not make it up for the Geneva trip this year. Let's hope we beat this shit and make it up next year. Still hacking a little but it's getting better. Knock on wood. Yesterday was another day of getting the body ready for the next attack. I hit the dentist office this morning. All good in the hood with my gums from all the work I've had done in the past. Got some x-rays that looked ok. Nothing crazy from all the chemo I've had. He thinks it's just sensitive from our Antarctica weather. Freezing outside. Might be too cold for a polar bear. 😊. The kids are already off school for the next two days because of the cold. As down as I've been I managed to sack up and play in the snow last night around 10:30. Doing the drive again got the blood pumping. Not sure if it was a good thing or not. Remember it's a mental thing. Tonight, I'll watch the game and get ready for tomorrow. Updates tomorrow on bloodwork and if I'll get Taxol again. Just when I start recovering it's time to go back at it. Curious again on my weight. I've eating like a champ. Eating about as much as narrow/small belly can handle. Just can't go too crazy. Last thing I need is bowel obstruction. Keep grinding everyone. No matter what you got going on stay strong and push like no other. Easy for me to say today. Not so sure about tomorrow! 😁

Song of the Day - The Clash - Rock the Casbah

1-17-2025 Happy Friday everyone! More than halfway through January. Had a little more energy again yesterday. It was a day of resting and letting the body heal up. Made it out to do a few swipes of the driveway. It's hard for me to breath and not cough a ton in the cold weather right now. Thanks, Sam for the help! My nose is still bleeding every now and then. My gums are starting to ache enough to where we even called the dentist. I had work done about five years ago on my teeth and now it's hurting in the same spots. They say the treatment can cause this but it's the last thing I need to deal with right now. I have an appointment Monday morning to get my grill looked at. Kind of funny in some sick way. You would never think dealing with stage 4 cancer one would be making a dentist appointment. 🤠Still no work and to top it off I will be missing the annual poker weekend with the guys. Something we have been doing for 20 plus years. I was trying my ass off to go up for tonight and come back tomorrow. Probably the best thing for me is to sit this one out and give the body another weekend to try and get better. Hope my crew has a blast! Slowly but surely, I'll get moving more. At least I'm not napping 6 hours a day lately. Today will be chill again. Music, puzzle, late night tv. Samantha interviewed me last night for a school project. She had to do a podcast about cancer and did a great job. Only one take! 😊

Song of the Day - Jack White - I'm Shakin'

1-15-2025 Rally rally everybody gets a hit. Had a good night of sleep and led to the best day I've had in a month. I was up and at it early. Hit the Hope Center again today for my fifth day of the injection. Looking forward to not making the trip there tomorrow. I have been there every weekday since last Tuesday. Talk about a mental grind. After a short nap got up and had some good energy today. Paced around the house getting some little things done. I got some more music in and actually made it back to my puzzle table to start cracking again on my 3000-piece Beatles puzzle. I really hope I'm starting to turn the corner. I'm going to make practice tonight and hopefully parlay this energy into tomorrow. What a difference a day can make. I just hope this can last. If I can snap out of this look out. Katie, bar the door! The madman is coming through! 😀

Song of the Day - Aerosmith - Amazing

1-14-2025 I used to be a baller. Now I'm just a hope center shot caller! Some of you 90's rap fans will get that. 😊Back from day four of shots. One more day to go. After another two-hour nap I feel a little better. Still the hack, nose and gum bleeds from the low platelets/treatment but I'm moving around the house. Finally got some music in today. I got three albums in so far. Have to get back to it. Music is like my medicine. I would love to get back to work one of these days. I'm just not sure about the drive right now. With the way I've been feeling it just can't happen. I know it sounds crazy, but it feels good when I get up there. If your able to get to work and be productive, do it! Don't complain and be happy you're in that position. It can all change so fast. You hear it all the time but it's so true. If you look back on the last few years of posting I rarely ever preach. It's not too late to start, right? 😁Ok done with tiny rant. I'm going to hold out from going to practice tonight. I need to stay out of the cold and give this body another rest after the games last night. I plan on making it tomorrow and then our game in Girard on Thursday.

Song of the Day - Leon Bridges - River

1-13-2025. Far from normal but got back on track a bit today. Started the day my going to the hope center again for more bloodwork. Still pretty low so he ordered me my third day in a row of injections. He wants me to finish my five days this week. I will go tomorrow and Wednesday morning again for shots then I'll get a little break before going into hell's kitchen again next week. At least I will not have to do bloodwork tomorrow or Wednesday. My arms need a break. I'm running out of veins to poke. Came home from the HC and slept for about two hours. Another small win for me today. I made it to meet with the boys and take the bus with them out to Niles for our basketball game. We got the W! Sitting on the bench makes me forget about all this bullshit for a few hours. We got home late and now it's time to rest when I finish writing. I've been sleeping like shit lately. Seems like I'm up every hour or so. Still have this nagging cough wondering when the hell I'll get better. The January doldrums got me good but I'm not done battling yet. Two more days of going in then hopefully a long weekend break. I need to focus on doing more tomorrow than I did today. Baby steps but I'll get there.

Song of the Night - The Doobie Brothers - Listen to the Music

1-11-2025 Day 3 of laying around like a piece of meat with eyeballs. Have to say I'm a little bit better than the last few days but not much. Fighting my ass off just to get moving around the house. The medication I have for this hack isn't doing much at all. Missed our practice again last night which really stirs my craw up! Not sure if it's the January after holiday doldrums, treatment, or just plain sick but this might be the closest to a depression state than I've been in quite some time. I guess it's time to see how deep I can dig to get out of this funk. It's one thing to talk the talk about being strong and fighting this shit but it's another thing to get my ass off the canvass and do it. As I'm writing I have a little more energy this evening. I'm hoping to keep it going for tomorrow and make it to practice. Time to push. Slept in today then got another nap in this afternoon. Sleep, sleep and more sleep. You know it's bad when Amanda did the drive today. 😁Tonight will be prep for tomorrow's comeback! Maybe Amanda and I will pull another Dexter binge watch late tonight! Tomorrow is a new day. Let's switch the mindset and go get it. Updates tomorrow on how I'm feeling.

Song of the Evening - Better Than Ezra - Good

1-10-2025. Still caught in this jet wash heading out to sea. Yesterday was another tough day. I slept most of the morning. Didn't wake up till around 11am which drives me crazy. I headed to the Hope Center to get my first shot. I got home then slept for another three hours. I'm trying like hell to get around but it's tough. Doc prescribed me some medication for my cough and chest congestion. Hopefully that will help me out. I slept in again today. I have to snap out of this soon or I might lose my mind! No work, missed a few few practices. I have to get my ass moving! Back at it today and going in for another shot in a few hours. Everyday it's something. I have to say 'keep it coming'. Maybe this weekend I can turn the corner and get moving.

1-8-2025. Late night post. Believe it or not didn't have the energy to post earlier. Yesterday was a rough day after treatment. Pretty sick. Not a surprise. I headed right from treatment to get an X-ray of my chest then came home and slept most of the afternoon. As usual the steroids kicked in which made it a tough night of sleep. I was up every hour or so. I was pretty run down this morning and napped for another three hours or so. Not sure how but I did bounce back to help coach the boys this evening. It sure keeps me going. We got my X-ray results back which showed no pneumonia. Still doesn't explain this stupid ass hack I've had for three weeks. so time to roll up the sleeves and get back at it tomorrow. More bloodwork and start my next cycle of shots. We'll see what happens. Hope to get a good nights rest and get stronger every day from here on out. I'll have updates tomorrow on bloodwork and how I'm feeling.

1-7-2025. Live update from the HC. Had a good conversation with doc this morning. Ton of thoughts running through my mind right now.We went over bloodwork and the notes from doc at the Clinic. The plan is full steam ahead. Taxol/Ram again with my favorite Xgeva shot. I will have to come back to get my growth factor shots the next few days. This I know will beat me up with the way I'm feeling. My counts are still low even after the break I've had. My platelets are still only at 46 and white counts are under lowest level. We also discussed the zolbetuximab.We will see what my next scan tells us before we go to that third line treatment. When I'm done here he wants me to go get an Xray to see if i have pneumonia. That's the last thing this man needs! They are going to be aggressive as all hell even though the chance for infection is good. My port is poked and the fluids are flowing. I'll be here another couple hours then head to get my Xray. I will keep everyone posted on Xray results. Looks like I'll be missing practice tonight which really pisses me off. Here we go again everyone. Get your popcorn out everyone. it's going to be an interesting 2025!

Song of the day - The Bones of J.R Jones - Burden

1-6-2025. Still can't shake this dam cough and congestion I have. Such a pain in the sphincter! I guess doing the driveway for a few days ago didn't help matters. lol. I made it to work today for a few hours. I got home and slept for about 3 hours. My naps and more time under the blankets is starting to worry me. It's just not me. My body is trying to tell me something but not sure what. I got those nose/gum bleeds again probably from my low counts. Not getting good sleep at night and also not eating that great lately. Curious to see what I weigh in at tomorrow. Might hit my all time low. I really thought this break would have done me some good but coming down with this crud didn't help. I think back to all the major things I went through and say how the hell? But sometimes it's those everyday little battles that add up and can bring you down. Ok done with my rant. Big day again tomorrow. Back to the Hope Center to see if I get treated or not. Super anxious this evening! Poor Amanda and the kids. They might need medication to deal with me for the next 24 hours. Tired or not, here I come! Live updates tomorrow morning on what's going on.

Song of the Evening - Bad Company - Seagull

1-3-2025 I spoke with the oncologist from the Cleveland Clinic last evening. Pretty funny i had to take the call at basketball practice. 😊Had a great conversation with Doctor Mc. We talked for a good half hour. I got about two pages of notes. He went over all my scans from last year along with all my treatments. He said the hope center is doing an excellent with my treatments. I might be all over the place with the notes of our meeting because there is so much to cover. He believes my last scan did not look that bad. I know 'not that bad' when it comes to stage 4 C word isn't saying much. We already were aware that the lymph nodes have improved and some totally resolved. He explained that with the aggressive treatment and my bone shots some of the white marks can be from the healing of the bone. He is not 100% these marks are from progression or the treatment. I guess that is some kind of hope to hold on to. Just concerned about those new spots on my ribs. He was very proud to see I'm still shaking and moving. The plan moving forward is to go in next Tuesday and stay with the Taxol/Ram for now. Depending on my levels. He is also suggested trying the RAM alone to give my body a break from the chemo. He is putting in an order to see how long the new FDA approved zoltuxamab will take to get in. He said it may take some time. This would be the 3rd line treatment if any further scans get worse. They never used it so I would be one of their first. Kind of like a test rat. 😒 This drug is for my specific marker and may help. They would give me that alone or along with another chemo. So at least there is hope so another reason to head back on Tuesday and keep trying. I said just give me a chance at more time. I've gotten way more than what many thought including myself. So much stuff we went over that if I think of anything else I'll post later. I have to get rid of this chest congestion soon. It kept me up most of the night. I did not make it into work this morning. Didn't want to chance it. Hope to get back Monday. I did get two swipes of the drive done today with the snow. I know chest congestion shouldn't be shoveling but just maybe it will make me feel better. 😁 Time for a good nap and see about hoops this evening.

1-1-2025. Happy New Year everyone! I'm still alive in 25! Maybe I will have some t-shirts made 😀 We had so much fun yesterday with a great group of people. Thanks to everyone that stopped over to celebrate my birthday and ring in the new year. Thy even broke out the karaoke machine. I made it through the holidays. Managed to stay positive and enjoyed the last few weeks as much as possible. Feeling a little bit better today. Still have the annoying pain in my belly and back but it's not as bad. With the new year it's time to put the game face back on. Phone call tomorrow with the Cleveland Clinic. Hope to get some answers before I head back to the Hope Center next Tuesday. I'm kind of in that no man's land right now. Not knowing what to expect for this upcoming year. Same treatment? 3rd line treatment or clinical trial? Or if we do anything. Great relaxing day with the family and now time to hit the sack early tonight. Get some rest and try to make the trip to the lab in the morning. Thanks again everyone for reaching out yesterday. Let's go get it! Get ready. Here I come 2025!

12-30-2024 Figured I would get my end of the year post in a day early. 2024 as you all know has been a tough one. Looking back at all the scans, chemo, radiation, Xgeva, injections, bowel obstruction and all the other day to day issues, it feels like an accomplishment that I'm going to be celebrating another birthday and New Year with my family and friends. One can always give up and believe me I wouldn't judge anyone that would when dealing with this bullshit disease. I'm lucky enough to still be blogging. I gave this all I could in 2024. I always say in most cases people don't usually win the war with this disease (especially with Mets to bones). But when I look back at 2024, I feel like I got the W. You're probably saying huh? really? I look at everything I got to do and see because I decided to give this hell. From seeing the kids and Amanda get another year older and being there for their birthdays. Seeing the girls play softball and Morgan graduating. Getting to watch the boys with all their sports. Also being able to keep coaching in the spring with Team Cure and now with the Struthers boys again. Those are just a few of many things I got to do. Still being with family and friends is another win! Some who I drive nuts would probably not say the same. 😁 I logged in 402 full albums this past year. Now time to enjoy the next two days! This bastard cancer will take me someday. But Not Today! Happy New Year Everyone!

12-28-2024. I feel like I'm limping to the finish line right now. Getting to my birthday and the new year seems like a tough task right now. Besides this nagging pain in my back and now the ribs the last few days I've been dealing with some belly pain. Not an upset stomach just sharp pains especially after I get something down my pie hole. Since my surgery I've had those two bowel obstructions and that's what I'm worried about. Those really knocked me on my ass. I have to do everything in my power not to get another one. Even though it can just happen. Hoping it will get better as the days go on. I still bulled through and had a pretty productive day. Up early again this morning then made it to our scrimmage for our 7th and 8th grade teams. Followed by my daily nap. Made it to the store for a few hours and hung out with the family for most of the evening. Just chilling out on this Saturday night. i hope to get a good night of sleep and roll into Sunday basketball practice.

Song of the night - Queen - Don't Stop Me Now

12-27-2024 What a great Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we had. We hosted Xmas eve and had family over for the good old fish dinner. So great getting to see everyone again. After we did our secret Santa gift exchange which is a big hit with the family. Christmas day was a little bit different this year. Mama bear had to work so we didn't open gifts until the afternoon. It still turned out to be a great day. I made it to work yesterday and today. Back to back days! I'm still not even close to 100%. More like 50. Getting up here keeps me pumping and feeling normal. I have some back pain. I'm starting to get pain in my ribs but it's not too bad yet. Thought I would be feeling much better without treatment but still having low energy. Have to get the cardio going again! It's been a while. I'm going to finish up at work in a couple hours and head home to relax. I'm still debating on going to G's game tonight at Boardman. If not I'll watch it online. Depends on how I feel. Let's keep rolling and get to 2025!

12-24-2024 Happy Christmas Eve! Started the morning out by taking G and Joey to our annual mall trip. No idea why or how it started but we head out buy some extra gifts and get a bite to eat. Had some great company rolling in and out early this afternoon. I can't say it enough. I will enjoy every second of this ride. Getting ready for a good time tonight. Family will be coming over soon for our traditional Xmas eve fish dinner. Not that I can plow down much food these days, but I hope to have a few cups of cheer if you know what I mean. After everyone heads out, we'll do the Minno family secret Santa gift exchange. Yes, we have a lot of traditions around here It's a big hit in this house. The fun part about it is you have to make the gift and put some thought into it. Hope to have some pictures posted later. Tomorrow will be a bit different. Amanda works day shift for the first time that I can remember. The kids voted to wait and open gifts in the afternoon when she gets home. I hate to be Mr. Holiday preacher man but enjoy everyone around you. That's what is important. We'll at least it is to me as I start this new chapter in a few weeks. Merry Christmas Everyone!

Song of the Night - Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas?

12-22-2024 Early rise on this Sunday morning. Not sleeping very well these days. My mind feels like it's going a thousand miles an hour. I got a decent day in at work on Friday and watched G play. Didn't make it out to the game but I got to watch it on the good old laptop. Cats got the W. Yesterday was a day of watching football and chilling with the family for most of the day. There's nothing like sitting around with the four talking throughout the day hearing about the most random of things. I did get to go play in the snow yesterday. I was able to get the drive done twice. Probably not the smartest thing but the cold got the blood pumping. Why stop now? Right? 😁I think with all things considered I'm doing my best to enjoy the holiday's. Sounds really crazy but I'm at a better space in my head than I was a year ago. Although I know my fate it's much easier when you have an idea of what's coming. Last year was a big shock and we had no clue what was coming down the train tracks. I always said this from the beginning. One of the hardest things to deal with is the unknown. Waiting for results or something just as simple as what doc is going to say. In addition to just flat out having more knowledge it's nice to get a break from the brutal 2024 of getting my ass kicked. Ok I'm done with my cancer speech of the day. Time for some morning joe. Practice this afternoon to finish off the weekend. I still haven't got that walk in yet. Maybe doing the driveway will make up for it. 😁

Song for Sunday - Walter Egan - Magnet and Steel

12-20-2024 My mind has been spinning the last few days. Trying like hell not to think about what will be next for me. Easier said than done. Going over and over this shit in my head. How I'm feeling? Do I keep going? What's next? The holidays and helping with hoops are keeping my mind busy. We got the W Wednesday night. Chalk up another game. Not a great night of sleep on Wednesday but I got up to work yesterday. Practice last evening led to me being super tired last night. Better night of sleep last night and here I am back at work this morning. Feel normal for a few hours before I go home and take my snooze. Nothing planned for tonight. Probably watch G's game on ysn and rest. Still have to get lots of energy back. Something is still off. I haven't taken a walk in a few weeks. My goal this weekend is to get a good walk in at the park!

12-17-2024 A late afternoon post for a Tuesday. Another morning spent at my second home. We had a good talk with the doctors this morning. At first, they were going to treat me with the full Taxol/Ram plus I was due for the wonderful Xgeva shot along with the neutrophil shot. A day which I was going to get lit up like our Xmas tree turned into me (with doc and Amanda's backing) deciding not to get any treatment. I know that's not me but based on how I've been feeling lately I think I need a break. Yes, this is me typing this post. 😁All I want to do anymore is sleep. I'm doing everything I can to push through right now. They said I'm probably down from the aggressive treatment or the progression of this disease. Along with being there every day for the injections and bloodwork. What a pain in the ass! No surprise to me there was no push back and no forcing me to continue with chemo for a few weeks. It was 100% my decision. A tough one but it's something I have to do. Those who know me well will understand my mindset. I never want to hear the word CAN'T. Never giving in so you can see where I get a little down mentally when I let this shit get a win. Yes, I'm goofy like that but helps me through the tough times. When I got the news last year that it spread a year ago, we all figured it wasn't going to be easy, and these days would be here sooner than later. I remember talking to the doctors when we started up again and they flat out told me if I went untreated in January, I wouldn't make it until summer. Well, here I am C word. I'm still here! It will get me but not today. The docs also told me as good as your doing and as much as you can take your body will let you know when it's time for a break. Today was that day. So here is the new plan. I will get a break and head back to the Hope Center on January 7th. I will be scheduled for treatment again. What treatment if I decide (a big if) to move forward is still up in the air. Could be the same or 3rd line treatment. I will have a phone call with my Cleveland Clinic oncologist on January 2nd. We'll see what he suggests. They will consult with the HC and see what the plan will be for the 7th. So now I have to get my ass in gear and heal up. Get stronger if I can. Most importantly I will enjoy every second of the holidays and take advantage of this break. Christmas with the family again not taking one second for granted. Hopefully celebrating my birthday and ringing in the New Year with everyone. You know what that means! 😁

Song of the Day - Billy Joel - This is the Time

12-15-2024 Halfway through December. Hard to believe. Feel about the same as I did on Friday. Really tired and doing everything I can to generate some energy. Yesterday we had an early morning practice then we went to G and Samanthas game in Salem. I really wanted to make the annual Xmas party with the cousins and uncles but decided to lay back and snooze. No way I would have made the game if I did go to the party. That's where I'm at lately. Things that would be a no brainer to go and do is such a challenge the last week or so. Hope to snap out of this heavy eye lightheadedness soon. I'm thinking positive and believe I'll turn the corner soon. Early 5am wake up today. Besides hitting the store early in the morning, I relaxed most of the day and ate like a champ. A much-needed Sunday of resting and watching my Cowboys get a victory. 😁I'm going to try and get up to work tomorrow morning. We'll have to see how I feel. If I feel like I do this evening, it's not looking good. Tonight, maybe I'll get some more tunes in and jack around with a puzzle. Believe it or not I'm all footballed out. No shot Monday! At least I have something to look forward to on a Monday. Yes, a poke free day. Finding these tiny wins keeps the game going along with realizing it can always be worse! 😎

Song of the Evening - Grateful Dead - Touch of Grey

12-13-2024 End of the week Friday night post. Got my beat-up ass out of bed this morning and finally made the drive in to work. Feels good to get up there even though it was only for about three hours. The short day feels like my 8-hour day used to. Just so tired this week. Slept terrible Wednesday night but came back strong and got some good rest last night. I went right from my first job to my second job (staying alive) at the Hope Center for more bloodwork. My neutrophils were raised a bit but not as much as last Friday. Doc decided to give me the shot today. The good news is that I don't have to go on Monday for another injection. I came home and snoozed for over two hours. Much needed rest. Tuesday we will see if I will get one more hit of chemo. The ball is in my court right now. I have to decide if I want to keep rolling with this treatment. I will have Xmas eve off. I already told them I'm not doing treatment on my birthday the 31st. I'm looking forward to a two-week break to end the year. I'm going to relax tonight and get ready for a busy Saturday. Forgot to mention I'm scheduled to talk with the Cleveland Clinic on January 2nd for more options. The ball is already rolling to give it a run in 2025. I just hope the body can hold! 💪

Song of the Day - Prince - Baby I'm a Star

12-11-2024 After feeling down yesterday from treatment I didn't sleep very well. Pissed I missed practice last night but it's hard to do when your glued to the couch. We added it up yesterday. That was my 17th Taxol treatment, 5 with the RAM. 30th overall chemo when you add the 13 Folfox treatments. Not to mention the 48 total radiation treatments and all the other bumps along the way. Guess what I'm still here! Today is a new day. Someone let the lion out of his cage this morning! I was up wide awake before 5am hell bent for leather. Coffee on early and pacing like a madman looking for something to get into. I know for sure I gave Amanda some early morning anxiety. Hit the wall around 8am after all the high energy wore off. I got in about an hour nap. Did manage to get a few sets of light weights up. I know I know I shouldn't be doing that. 😁Now time to get scrubbed up and head in again for another round of the shots. Hoping they don't make me feel like more shit than I already do. Sometimes just going in everyday is harder than the actual injection. Strange how that works. After that it's time for more basketball. Games at 5 and 6. This will be a fun but long night for me but it's so worth it. Keep it moving everyone!

Song of the Day - Incubus - Drive

12-10-204. Lots of posting this holiday season. We just got finished speaking with doc. My bloodwork is back to where it's been lately. My white cell counts are low compared to being through the roof last week. They told us it could be from the growth factor shots I've been getting. Yes I have to get the shots again for the next 3 days if not 5. I will get bloodwork again on Friday to determine if I need the shot through next Tuesday. This grind is the real deal. Whenever I'm at what seems to be the lowest level physically and mentally, I have to get tougher and keep trucking along. My platelets are at 47 today. We spent some time going over the scan results. It's nice to hear about the results from someone who knows what the hell they're talking about. The short version is the results show a mix interpretation. Not to brag but kind of what Dr. Minno thought. My lymph nodes are much improved and a few are totally resolved. They think that the mark on my lung is from and infection or inflammation. All other organs are clear for now which is great but hard to believe. That's the good news of the day. Now for the bone mets discussion. Yes, they are saying that there are more lesions which is consistent with the spread. They did explain the terminology to us which now makes sense. My scan uses the term sclerotic a lot. This means that with my disease to bones it more than likely is the C word but it can also be from the hardening of the bone. The Xgeva shots I get which enhance the bone density can be causing some of these extra sites. So I guess all in all it's a mixed bag of results. They gave me the opportunity to decline the chemo today after last week's hell. Tough decision but I told them to do what they think is right. So here we go. Another day of treatment. Maybe these cocktails are helping with my nodes and organs. Starting to lose count on my total treatments. Just Taxol today no RAM. Around here we drink Taxol for breakfast! So, what's up next? I'm hooked up to the baggies as I type. I will come in tomorrow and Thursday for sure to get my shots. Friday bloodwork. I will now follow up with Cleveland to see what or if there is anything we can do treatment wise for these bones. We will be messaging them sometime this week. I came in today knowing the cards are stacked against me, but I will be leaving here ready to get back at it. Keep fighting this shit. Finish the year strong trying to think as positive as I can. Doc was surprised that I'm still coaching on an everyday basis and once again told me I have to watch not getting sick. In my mind I can't be the boy in the bubble, right? I am the bubble! Speaking of coaching I helped with the boys last evening. The boys played their asses off!Getting out there even when feeling down helps so much. So let's get this chemo finished go home and more than likely fall asleep. Practice will be tough to make tonight but it's on my radar. I'll have plenty of updates this week on how I'm feeling and what the Clinic has to offer. Time for some rest and music!

Song of the Day - The Offspring - Gotta Get Away

12-9-2024 What a strange day this has been so far. I was planning on making the trip up to the lab, but the drive wasn't worth it today. No sense in risking it with how down I was this morning. I got the night sweats again last night. Not sure what's going on. It's almost like my body is making some kind of weird shift after last week's pounding. So instead of working a few hours Morgan and I went and got some breakfast. Great one on one time with her. Came home and then snoozed for over 3 hours. Out like a light. Maybe Zeke smacked me over the head with a bag of rocks this morning. My body is trying to tell me something but I'm not letting it. Still tired but hoping the nap is going to help me push through the afternoon and evening. Time to clean up and get ready to coach the boys in a few hours. Big games for our 7th and 8th graders. That will be before the big Cowboy game tonight! 😁 Can't wait to get in tomorrow and talk with doc. Even if it's not the news we want to hear. It might clear some things up for me. Maybe clear this racing mind. Hope to also get a better idea of what they expect and what the plan is. Who knows I might even get hit with treatment again. Right now, I'm not sure if I even want to go down that path. Should I keep going or not. I'm tired of my mind going back and forth. Updates tomorrow on what they say and if I decide on treatment. 💪

Song of the Day - Bruce Springsteen - Badlands

12-8-2024 We got the results of my scan yesterday afternoon. Almost one year since we found out it spread to my bones and more lymph nodes I'm still standing. I thought we were in good shape going into last year's scan. The short version is it's not the best of news. I know I'm not a doctor, so I'll have to wait to see him on Tuesday to see what the plan is. The scan shows further spread (more sites) in my bones that we saw back in June. It is still in my pelvis, vertebrae, and now in my bilateral ribs. I guess you can say the treatment isn't working for the bones. We knew from jump street this bone deal is going to be a tough one. Not really too much of a surprise. Now for the good news of the scan. Believe me it's hard grasping at good news when this shit is going through my bones like crazy. The scan showed good improvement on the lymph nodes with them being shrunk or totally wiped out. Nothing in my organs again which is a bonus. It did show a new inflammation in my lower lung but it's not certain if it's infection, inflammation, or a lesion. I guess you can say that the hell I've gone through this past year was worth it to keep alive. The treatment/radiation/injections might be helping everywhere but the bones. To be honest the results from yesterday didn't hit as hard as last years. It is mentally tough when you fight your ass off to get these results. It just doesn't stop. This shit keeps coming after me. I did manage to make it to G's game last night. Where my mind was yesterday afternoon, I consider that an accomplishment. To be honest I'm not sure what is up next. Half of me is saying shut it down and quit going through this mess. When is it enough? Then the other half is saying bring it on! I'm not done yet. Whatever I decide I know will be the right decision. I've given this shitty disease everything I possibly can. In my mind I've already won. No doubt in my mind if I didn't decide to go through everything in 2024. I would not be here right now. So today I'm going to get my ass to basketball practice with the boys. Come home relax and probably do lots of thinking. I'm still pretty sluggish from last week so a good rest tonight might be a good thing. We meet with doctor on Tuesday so we should have an idea of what we are going to do moving forward. We also sent a message to the Clinic to give them a heads up. Today is a new day. We explained everything to the kids, and they have been great! Makes everything easier to deal with when I see how strong they can be. We just have to stay on track and see what the team has in store for me.

12-6-2024 Feels so good this week is in the books. It's been a tough one. Started my day just like yesterday. A 6am date with the snow and getting the drive done. The Hope Center called, and I got in early before my scan. Doc was out so they had to do all kinds of schedule changes. Got my bloodwork first. My white blood cell count was pretty high which can show a sign of infection, but they didn't seem to be concerned about it. I just hope I'm not coming down with something. The only thing that makes me nervous is my white counts have been super low with the treatment. The good news of the day is that I didn't need a shot for my neutrophils. Thay were ok so I also will get a break on Monday from the injection. 3 days of rest! What the hell is that?! I finished at the HC and headed to my scan. They had to poke me twice again. I think I'm starting to run out of places to poke in my arms. Maybe they'll find some veins in my ass cheeks to start poking. 😁 Now time to wait for these results. Should get them tomorrow or Sunday at the latest. At this point I'm ready for whatever comes my way. I used to put full weeks of work in. This has been a full week of staying alive. A full-time job. Thanks again to everyone who has reached out to me today. Tonight, dinner and get some much-needed rest. I will have updates as soon as we know the results and what my next move will be! 💪

12-5-2024 Here we go! Things are going to get more interesting tomorrow. They just called to schedule my scan. I will have it done tomorrow at 12:30. Cross your fingers and toes for me if you get a chance. I'm going to have some decisions to make after this scan. When I look back on my blog from last December 22nd and the results I got from that scan was probably the lowest moment of this journey. So here we go again. After a year of hell, I'm still here to give it another shot. Speaking of a shot. Got my first of the 5-day hitter yesterday. I felt better yesterday after Tuesday's treatment which kicked my ass. I made it last evening to help coach our 7th/8th graders against Niles. All the boys played some good ball last night. The games were dedicated to Myle. She is an 8th grader who was in accident and going through her own battle right now. It was a great tribute to her. So now for today I'm scheduled for my next shot this afternoon and then hopefully get to practice. I did not make it in to work today which was a good move. I was up early this morning and got the drive done with our first snow. It was more of helping the girls get their cars cleared off. You'll get soon. Mowing grass equals shoveling driveway. 😁I have to see when I go in today if I can skip tomorrow's trip to the Hope Center. If I can't it will be poke for scan. Then to HC for another poke for bloodwork and finish the week off with another shot. That would be one hell of a week. Doc should have the answer for me this afternoon. My mind is about to explode right now. I'm as hyper right now as I've been in a while. Did I mention big day tomorrow?! Let's get it done!

12-3-2024. It's so strange I haven't been here in 5 days and it feels like a month. That's how much I've been here lately. This is my life. All this just to stay ticking! Bloodwork is in and platelets are up to 43. My neutrophils are only up to 1300 but we are still pushing through with another treatment of Taxol and Ram. Time to suck it up again and get through this. Probably be pretty down this afternoon. It's going to be tough to make practice this evening. We'll see how I feel later. With my neutrophils being low I will still have to get the five straight days of getting shots again. I'm not happy about coming back in everyday again, especially after todays treatment. How I haven't lost my mind in 2024 is crazy. Trying now to get pumped up to finish strong. I will see doctor next Tuesday. The order for my scan is not in yet. Hopefully i can get it as soon as possible. Time to take a snooze in my recliner as I get these cocktails. I'll be here for about five hours. I'll have updates later on how I'm feeling .Looking forward to tomorrows game with the boys. Our first home game against Niles. I'm going to give it all I got to get there tomorrow evening. It motivates me so much!

Evening update. Just got up from sleeping all afternoon. Treatment got me today. Mentally so pissed I missed our practice and G and Samantha's game. That's the shit that burns my ass. Up and about now. The roid rage might be kicking in. I'll probably be up most of the night. I'm going to force some food down and start pacing around the house. Tomorrow shot scheduled for 1:30. Updates tomorrow. Who knows maybe a 2am post if I'm awake! When you have nothing left in the tank find the energy somewhere. Even if it's a little bit keep going!

12-2-2024 It's been a few days since my last post. Crazy weekend to say the least. Did anyone ever think you can write a book about your life? After the last few days, I might be able to. We'll leave it at that. Had some great visitors from out of town and spent a lot of time at practice with the boys. Yesterday did our pictures, practice and then went to G and Samanthas football banquet. That's a full day for me lately. I did not make it to work this morning. Got up again with the sweats. This seems to be happening more and more. I did make it to our first game in Poland this evening. Didn't get the W but these group of boys played their asses off. We're only going to improve from here on out. Next game on Wednesday. Back at it tomorrow to see everyone at the Hope Center. We'll see about treatment. All depends on the bloodwork. Getting a week off from treatment plus five days out from my last shot is giving me more energy. I'll have my usual Tuesday treatment update early in the morning. Still no word on my next scan. Hope to get some answers tomorrow. 35 full length albums in November. Not the best but ok for how crazy of a month it was. December is here. It is getting close to the one-year mark of this shit returning. Let's finish this year with some better news after a rough 2024!

11-28-2024 Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Super late-night post. Had a normal day yesterday not going to the HC and getting a good day at work in. Followed that up with practice then a good night's rest. Today was a day to remember for me. Especially now I soak in every moment I can on these big holidays. As much as I enjoy the day, every now and then it sneaks in my brain how these holidays will be without me. I know it's a normal thought but have to stay on track until this next scan and go from there. I'm telling you and it sounds so cliche but appreciate these holidays. I'm going to do everything I can to get through these holidays Started the morning out well rested. Not the normal pre-Thanksgiving blowout we usually would have on the Wednesday before. I got G to practice then got Joey to the annual family Turkey bowl. Of course, I didn't suit up but being there with all the cousins, uncles and friends made the morning. Rest of the day was full of food and football and yes I broke out the xmas music! I ate better today than I have in sometime. Not too much in one sitting. I ate a little every so often and never hit the point of getting sick. Had some friends in and out. It was great having my brother Joe and Paula in town for Turkey Day. Really tired right now and hoping for some good rest tonight. Work tomorrow for a few hours then a busy weekend a head. The mind is starting to write checks the body can't cash. Getting so hard to do what used to be so normal. Once again thanks to Hope Center for surprising me (and scaring me to death😁) on Tuesday with a gift for the holidays.

Song of the Day - Barenaked Ladies - Odds Are

11-26-2024 Yesterday was an interesting day at the Hope Center. The good news is that I got my 4th injection done. One more to go today around 1:30. I can't wait to have have a full week off. My original neutrophils according to Friday's bloodwork were up to 1500 or more. Still low but I thought it was an improvement. I checked my results on the website Sunday and my neutrophil level was at 792. So I had some questions yesterday when I went in. To make a long story short they are at 792 and my platelets are still at 35. They called doc and he said to proceed with the last shot today. They explained to me that these low numbers can be causing my nosebleeds. Have to be very careful of internal bleeding and not getting sick. They explained it all in pretty good detail. I will continue to say the staff that is taking care of me has been great. Especially with these tough last couple of months. From the nurses, doctors, and all the staff thanks again! We'll see you guys in a few hours! Switching gears I did make it to practice last night and just made the 50 mile drive to work. Even though I'm beat up it wasn't that bad of a drive today. We'll see about the rise home. Heading straight from here to get the shooter (not bourbon) and hopefully hit practice at 5pm. Ready to enjoy Turkey Day with my family and friends who are coming into town and not deal with some of the low budget moves people are doing these days. Did I say that? Oh come on! I'm allowed to vent every now and then!

11-24-2024 Not a bad weekend. Sunday morning coming down. Typical shitty grey sky Ohio weather. I guess I'm not starting this post out positive today. 😁Got my third shot along with bloodwork on Friday. Counts were up a little but not much more. My platelets are still at 35. Not sure how much or even if the doptelet is working. Put the long week out of my head and made it to practice. After that had the guys down for poker night. A much-needed night. It was great getting together playing some cards. I was really tired and weak yesterday. We had a scrimmage down in Crestview. The boys played really well. After that I came home and crashed for a few hours then relaxed the rest of the night. Something seems off right now. Started getting bone pain in my back again. I'm hoping it's from the treatment or the shots. Today is pretty much the same. I'm really down and right now have zero energy. This will be a good day to lay around and rest. Feels like that's all I can do right now. Maybe watching my Cowboys might get the blood pumping and get me moving. Back at it tomorrow and Tuesday for another injection. I can't wait to get through Tuesday and let the body heal up for a week.

11-21-2024 I thought Eminem said you only get one shot! Not in my case. Headed in today for day two of my injections. Yesterday I had to head out to the Howland Hope Center for my shot. I made it to our scrimmage last night. I slept in today then went to the Hope Center for my second hit. Feeling ok so far. Just a little bit of bone pain with these injections. I'm still sluggish but bouncing back pretty good since Tuesday's treatment. Back from practice. Now it's time to rest a bit. Back at it again tomorrow. 11:30 am to end the week. Hoping these shots raise my levels!

Song of the Day - Tom Petty - Listen to Her Heart

11-20-2024 Rough day after treatment yesterday. I slept at during treatment for about an hour then when I got home I snoozed for another 3 hours. I tried like hell but couldn't make it to practice last evening. As you know that really pisses me off. I slept ok last night and had a bit more energy this morning. Pushed it for a good walk with Zeke then hammered out the back and side yard. Thanks, Mark, for getting the front done for me. I really appreciate it. Didn't have enough juice to finish Just got home from my first of five shots in a row. I hope this will help to boost these blood levels. Now we're getting ready to go to our scrimmage to go play the red devils. I'm sure tonight I will be cashed out. Doesn't seem like much but with how I'm feeling I got some things accomplished today. Back to Hope Center tomorrow at 11:30 for my next shot. Everyday it's something!

11-19-2024. Treatment Tuesday! Just another day at the office. We met with doc this morning and it's pretty much the same old situation. my bloodwork is really low again. White cell count is lower than before. He's putting an order in for an injection that might raise my counts. I will have to come in and get the shot for the next five days. Tomorrow through next Tuesday. It's always something new. The fact of coming here the next five days is another mental battle. My platelets are at 40. Up just a bit from last week. Even with my counts low he is still going to be aggressive and go ahead with the TaxolRam today. It's almost 10am and should be starting my treatment soon. Hopefully we get some good blood return today. It's been getting tougher to get good blood return from getting poked every week. I'm thinking the way I felt last week this treatment is going to be a rough one. My mind is still on making it to practice tonight! At least he is giving me next week off. It will be nice not having treatment during Thanksgiving week. Doc put the order in for my cat-scan. I should be getting my scan sometime in early December. Not sure if it's a good thing or bad thing but he wants me to follow up with the Cleveland Clinic after my scan. My phone meeting with the clinic yesterday was a no go. They never called us. So we still have some unanswered questions about the new drug. Amanda is calling them in a bit to see why they didn't call us. Here we are again. Tough week ahead. Let's get it done. One of my short term goals is to be good enough to enjoy the holiday's with my family/friends. Try to finish 2024 as strong as I can. I'll have lots of updates as the week goes on.

11-18-2024 Another week is underway. I have a little more energy than the last few days. Made it up to work today. That makes three days in a row. Time for my daily nap soon. I have a phone call with the Cleveland Clinic at 4pm. Hoping to get some answers on this new drug that has a shot at helping me. I'll try to have updates later on what they have to say. Practice with the boys at 5 this evening. Tomorrow morning is another terrific Tuesday. Back at it. We'll see if I get another round of chemo and the Ram. Just another Monday night of high anxiety!

11-16-2024 Saturday morning having my cup of joe! Watched the good old Tyson fight last night. It was about what we expected. Not a great fight but you really have to give that 58 year old credit for getting in the ring again. I've had a couple of tough days to finish the week. I made it to work Thursday and Friday and also made it to basketball practice all week. I've been really tired and rundown. More than usual. I'm assuming it's from the chemo or even the low blood counts. I'll feel really lightheaded/dizzy one hour than feel ok the next. Like a rollercoaster. I've been getting some pretty bad nose bleeds this week. This is something new. Have to wonder if it's from my low platelets and getting treated with them so low. We'll find out on Tuesday what the doc says. I also have a virtual meeting with my Cleveland Clinic oncologist Monday afternoon. Hope he will shed some light on this zolbetuximab drug. I think all this treatment is really starting to get me down. I'm trying my ass off to keep rolling but something is off. It's getting harder and harder each week. What do I usually do when I go through these few days of feeling down? I get pissed and get moving! Going to go get a walk in and maybe just maybe throw around a few weights. I'm looking forward to our first scrimmage today at the field house this afternoon. Should be fun for the boys to play in the big gym. We'll see how much they've listened the past two weeks. After the scrimmage I'm going to relax and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

11-13-2024 Early morning. Not the best night of sleep. I guess I can copy and paste this comment every Wednesday morning from here on out. I was cashed out after treatment yesterday. We got home around noon. I went right to couch and napped for about 4 hours. After that I did manage to go and help out with the boys at practice for 2 hours. I've said this with all the groups I've coached the last few years. The boys will never know how important this is in keeping me going. I was asked to post a few things about everyday pain in the ass obstacles that I have to deal with. Not counting the chemo/rad/scans/hospital visits and going in every week to get poked just to stay on this side of the dirt. Here we go with the little petty everyday things I just have to live with. I know everyone is different and has their own obstacles to overcome. Some much worse than mine for now. I know as ok as I feel right now this can go downhill anytime. That's the main reason I'm going to go like a bull until I can't do it anymore. We have to! Those going through it with me all with different issues I'm sure can back me up. Right?! Carl, Vito, Tim and Nick. Let's keep going! One pain in the ass thing is sleeping up at an angle without lying flat. Yes, with my new belly up so high no more lying flat on my back or stomach. I have to be propped up. If not, the reflux attack is not pretty. Another thing I've learned to live with is not eating like porky magee. I really miss being fat. 😁Not being able to plow down a big bowl of pasta or mow down a huge burger/dog is something that I have to live with. If I overeat just one extra nook and cranny it will all come back up for sure. It's difficult sometimes because I'm still hungry. You have to really know your limits. Especially with me not getting stretched in a while it seems like more of a challenge. Fatigue is the other which is a no brainer. That's something you really have to grind through. It's so easy for someone going through this to lay around 24/7 and curl up in a ball. I blame no one if they did. The fatigue and weakness every day is no joke. That goes for weeks even if I don't get treatment. Then there's the mental battle. The final thing I think about everyday (if not every hour) is leaving my family and friends behind. Not being able to see my kids get older and have families of their own. That one really gets to me. Btw who in the hell is going to cut the grass? 😁 I never try and use the phrase "you don't understand" because everyone is different. Everyone has different challenges and deal with this shit in their own way. But what people on the outside don't see are the everyday struggles. I have been fortunate enough to have great support from family, friends, and those who barley know me or my family. Not to mention all the new friends I've met through this. But there are also the AVOIDERS! Which someone going through cancer told me about a while ago. Now I know. Those who just don't know what to say or how to act. Even some you considered close and good friends at one time. I talk more with people I met months ago more than those I've known for years. I just chalk it up to human nature and move on. Having no time to deal with that is so true in my case. I might even act the same way. Who knows? Some think it's all hunky dory until it's not hunky anymore. 😁Well those are some issues I deal with and go through my head on a daily basis. Hope it helps out in some way. Now it's time to get Zeke to the park if I can get some energy. As of now I think I will make practice tonight at 5. We'll have to see after a good afternoon nap. No call from the hope center so I'm hoping no calcium infusion. I'm just going to keep following my team of doctors and the lovely nurses at the HC to lead me. They have been unbelievable in helping me. If not, I'd like to make it to work in the morning if I can. 💪

11-12=2024. Here we are again at the Hope Center for treatment Tuesday. My bloodwork is low again which is par for the course. My platelets went down to 36. He is still going to give me the Taxol. No Ram today. The Ram is every other week. This was the second week in a row they had a rough time getting blood return from my port. Bringing back nightmares from my first port. What a pain in the ass that was. They said it happens over time. I guess when your here getting the port poked all the time it will happen. Now I'm hooked up and the day begins. This has become my normal every Tuesday routine. Lucky me. I'm hoping to feel good enough this evening to make it to basketball practice. We'll play it by ear. More run down today than I was last Tuesday. Not just physically but mentally it's been tough lately. No grass cutting this Tuesday for sure. If I don't fall asleep I'll get into something. We should only be here about 3-4 hours today because I'm not getting the Ram. I had a request to post a summary on my everyday challenges. Not counting the treatment, scans, hospital visits, etc. A summary of daily things I can't do that a lot of people will take for granted. I'll get that info out this week sometime. Now it's time to lay back and rest with my chemo. Maybe I'll get some tunes in to pump me up! Updates later on how I'm feeling!

11-10-2024 We are rolling right through November. It's going to be a lazy Sunday especially with this gloomy Ohio weather. It was a weird treatment week. I felt the best on the day of treatment. The rest of the week I was tired and didn't have much energy. Getting through all this chemo is getting harder by the week. I did make it to work Friday for a few hours. Friday night we watched the cats take the L. Glad I made it through the football season healthy enough to watch the boys and Samantha. Another boxed checked! Time for hoops. I made it to all our 8th grade practices this past week and the one we had yesterday morning. Last night we attended The Joyce and Leigh Kennedy Foundation dinner. It's been two years since they did the benefit for me. It was really weird walking in last night considering how I was physically two years ago. I had my bag and my feeding tube at that time. How far I have come. Just happy to be able to make it two years after. I'll count that as another win. I got to meet Chris who was being honored at the dinner. She is also going through chemo right now. Wishing her the best moving forward. Thanks to Jenn and Mike for all you do for these families. Thanks Cheryl for all the pictures. Great night. With the rainy weather not much to do today. Good day to just rest and get ready for a new week. Hopefully get to work again tomorrow and back to the HC on Tuesday.

11-6-2024 Late night post. Had a rough night of sleep last night. It was a combination of treatment day and the crazy dog we have. 😁I handled the treatment pretty good yesterday. I was at the hope center for close to 5 hours (3 hours in the infusion room). For some reason I had a good boost of energy when I got home which hardly ever happens. I walked in the house changed and busted out the back and side yard. Mama bear was not too happy with me. I also made it to our basketball meeting last evening. As expected, I was worn down when I got home. That's the mental game as I said a thousand times before. Keep pushing until I can't push no more! Today was a little bit different. I was up early to see the kids off to school then I crashed back in bed for a few hours. I was much weaker today than yesterday. Something I've gotten used to with day 2. Amanda and I cleaned up a bit then I made to our bball practice this evening. We got the rest of my bloodwork in today and they called about my calcium again. Still low but not enough for an infusion. Thank God! I just have to keep taking the four calcium pills a day. My white and red blood cells are still super low. I hope they will start improving but with this shit in my bones and the chemo/Ram it's going to be a challenge. I have an appointment at 9am tomorrow with my radiation oncologist for a follow up. I'll try to rest up tomorrow (probably not) and get ready for another practice. Time sick back and chill out. We're getting through this somehow. Not a bad two day run. 💪

Song of the Day - Shinedown - I'll Follow You

11-5-2024. Treatment Tuesday! Just got hooked up to the Taxol/Ram again. My platelets went up a little to 47. The rest of my bloodwork as usual is still low but good enough to treat.I gained 3 pounds since my last weigh in. Full steam ahead with treatment this week. This treatment will continue for at least a month or so. I think this will be my 22 total chemo hit. My 10th Taxol already. They are ordering my scan today but doc does not want me to get it until after Thanksgiving. So to make a long story short this will be my life through the end of the year. What a year 2024 has been! Hopefully I'm not to down this afternoon. I have some things to do. It's a long shot but I'd like to get some yard work done and maybe attend a meeting for coaches. If not no biggie but for sure I'll try. On the brighter side of things I did make it to our first practice yesterday. Hoping to get there as much as I can. Time to lay here for the next 3 hours and get these cocktails in me.

Song of the Day - Rage Against the Machine - Wake Up

11-4-2024 Happy Monday! Made it up to work this morning. Had a relaxing weekend. Watched the cats get a playoff win Friday night on ysn. Saturday turned out to be a pretty strange day to say the least. Active morning then made it to the basketball tryouts. After that my stomach was all jacked up for the rest of the night. I was thinking maybe another bowel obstruction but thank the Lord yesterday I was felt better. Shout out to Morgan for running me down my pills. That might have saved me from a hospital visit. Final day of tryouts was yesterday. Our team is picked and we're ready to go. First practice this evening. Not sure how much I will be able to help but I'll give it my best shot. Give me another reason to stay motivated. Tomorrow back in for treatment. I'm expecting to get the heavy dose of Taxol/Ram this week. We'll see in the morning. I will have the usual updates about treatment tomorrow morning!

Song of the Day - The Black Keys - Gold on the Ceiling

11-1-2024 We made it to November! It's been a tough one but we got through it and still pumping. Busted out 38 full albums in for October! With the week off I went to work the last three days. Hoping to make it in again on Monday before next week's treatment. I'm ok at work until early afternoon then I crash. The drive home is ok but when I get home, I snooze for a good bit. We didn't make it down to the cats playoff game. We are just relaxing in the warmth watching it on ysn live. Really hard with my neuropathy to be out in the cold for a long period of time. Hoping to get up early tomorrow and get my walk in. We also have basketball tryouts tomorrow and Sunday. Can't wait to get this started and give me something else to drive me. Still been throwing around some weights. I'm eating ok but having issues gaining my weight back. I've added about 5 lbs since my radiation finished. My mindset is to get through this month and enjoy the holiday season with my family and friends.

10-31-2024 Happy Halloween!

10=29-2024 Candy free week! I feel like I sold the most candy bars in grade school and got a free day. Some of you old timers will know what I'm talking about. I didn't even get poked for bloodwork today. First time that has happened in a long time. I got to the hope center, and they didn't have me scheduled until next week. Doc gave me a full week of rest and recoup from last week. I'm guessing it was from how low my counts were on Friday. I know I need the treatment but I'll take the break. Getting drilled for 11 straight months is no fun. I'll use this week to get stronger and put some more weight on. I'm going to need it for what's coming in the next month or so. Already got my daily walk in at the park. Got my usual nap in after my walk. Now it's time to head outside and bust out the back yard. I'm also going to open gym again tonight. Helping these boys out again will hopefully keep me moving. Just like the last few years of coaching rec and travel did for me. Couldn't thank these coaches and school enough for letting me help out while I'm fighting this mess. Planning on heading to work and feeling some sense of normal this week. Let's enjoy the week everyone and keep moving. Jobs not finished! Job finished?1 I don't think so! 😁

Song of the Day: Metallica - Bleeding Me

10-28-2024 Monday morning! Up and at it early this morning. I'm going to head up to the lab this morning. Try and get another day in before I go back in tomorrow. I felt pretty good this weekend. We made it to the game Friday night. Saturday was a normal day of just hanging out relaxing. Had really good energy yesterday. Had a short meeting for bball in the morning followed by a long walk in the park with Joey and Zeke. Did the front and side yard and through some light weights around (I mean light). Finished the night off by watching the Cowboy's take the L! With everything I'm going through I still get worked up over the Boys. 😁Hoping to make open gym tonight. We'll see if I get treatment again tomorrow. We almost made it through October. Still sticking and moving. Hopefully we'll hear something about a scan soon. He said late November or December. Updates tomorrow on treatment and how I'm feeling. Let's get this day started!

10-25-2025 Got my bloodwork done again this morning. My platelet counts only dropped to 32 with this week's treatment. Down from 34. At least I didn't have to set up a blood transfusion for more platelets. I'll take today as another win. Really tired today. Had a long nap when I got home then another long one in the afternoon. Just a relaxing day. I'm going to hit the cats bulldogs' game this evening. We'll see how long I can hang in there.

10-24-2024 Yesterday was not that bad of a day. For not sleeping that great Tuesday night I moved around better than the past few treatments. Figure that one out!? Amanda, Zeke and I got a quick walk in at the park. I also ate pretty good. Starting to gain some weight back. I did manage to get my long naps in. When I got home Tuesday I slept for about 4 hours. Yesterday I was out for a few hours. No way in hell I could get up to work yesterday or today. Today is reset day. Maybe another short walk and maybe make open gym with the boys tonight. Back to the hope canter tomorrow morning to get my platelets checked from this week's treatment. Hopefully I don't need a transfusion. We contacted my oncologist at the Cleveland Clinic about the Zolbetuximab. I have a virtual meeting with them sometime in November. It's great to have lots of eyes on this. Especially that it is a new drug. Dr. Khalid and the hope center staff have been amazing with working with the clinic. Update tomorrow on the platelet counts and what's next.

10-22-2024. Here we are again. At the hope center. My platelets are still low at 34 but he is going to go ahead with treatment. I have to toughen up this week. I will be getting the Taxol and Ram today. With my platelets so low and the treatment I have to come back Friday to get another poke and see where my levels are. If they are tanked I will more than likely need a blood transfusion. It never ends. So hard to stay mentally tough. Hoping to help out with some hoops this year. Helping out will give me something to push for again. If I'm not too sick maybe I'll make open gym this evening. I'm not stopping this train yet. Some good news from yesterday. Zolbetuximab has been FDA approved. That is the drug that attacks my Claudin-18 biomarker. We found that out from my biopsy at the beginning of the year. It was approved in Japan and Europe and now finally the U.S. approved it three days ago. Doc said I'm not at that point yet. It's not a guarantee to help but at least now i may have another option down the road. So right now I'm hooked up and the juices are flowing. Let's see were the day takes us. Hopefully I don't get too sick today. I'll have updates later on how this Ram is treating me. Let's get another treatment done!

10-21-2024 Big week coming up. Already thinking about going in tomorrow for treatment. My two-week break might be over. It was a much needed one. Starting to feel a bit better then maybe back to hell's kitchen tomorrow. This weekend was pretty much a copy of last weekend. Friday relaxed. Saturday Amanda and I bummed around and hung out just loke the good old days. Yesterday watched some football and got the back yard finished. I even threw around some light weights, and I mean light. I'm eating much better the last few weeks. I have to be careful but trying like hell to pack on the pounds. Getting my taste back but I'm sure that will all change again after tomorrow. Getting ready to head up to work again. Three workdays in a row! I'll have updates tomorrow morning on treatment, bloodwork and my weight.

10=18-2024 Happy Friday! Made it through another week. Slept much better last night. Heading up to work again for a bit. Made it up yesterday for a few hours, got some of the yard down when I got home then went to Joey's final game Once again another small goal accomplished. I made it through to see his entire season of football. Now let's keep it going and get through G and Sam's high school season. Keep stacking up these small wins and keep moving forward. 10 months since I got re-diagnosed be being here was a big question. I know it's not going to get much easier but let's set our sights on finishing the year strong. Work today then hope to have a weekend of walking/moving and who knows maybe even some light weights. 💪

10-15-2024 Happy Birthday Morgan! Hard to believe your 19 years old. Back from the hope center already. Once again, no treatment this week. Doc is giving me another week of rest from the chemo and radiation month of hell. My bloodwork was a little better, but my platelets are at 34. Still very low. He doesn't want to take the chance of tanking me. Going to take this week to try and gain some more weight and get stronger. The good news is that I put on about 3-4 pounds since last week. Hopefully I can keep packing it on. It's much easier said than done! He told me to be mentally ready for next week. I will be getting the regular dose Taxol and Ram. I will not see him next week. I will go in get my bloodwork and go right in for treatment. I'm going to attack this like no other and get to my next scan which will be late November or December. 💪

10-13-2024 Sunday evening relaxing. Just watched my Cowboys get their asses kicked. What a terrible game! On the brighter side of things, I've felt pretty good the last few days. Not having treatment last week allowed me to reset a bit. I made it up to the lab Thursday and Friday. I'm planning on going up tomorrow if I'm feeling the same. Didn't go anywhere this weekend because of the low blood counts. I didn't make the football game Friday night. Just stayed home. I didn't want to chance being around a ton of people. I still got moments of fatigue but as I said feeling much better since the radiation is over. Still working in my body but healing up more every day. Trying like hell to pack on some pounds. We'll find out Tuesday if I'm getting back on track. We'll also see if it's back to the treatment or maybe another week off. Picture below of two sad Cowboy fans. 😒

10-9-2024. Here we are back at the hope center for a calcium infusion. They called me this morning to come in. Should be here at least a couple of hours. I will be getting a bag of fluids also. The grind. No treatment yesterday allowed me to make it to Joey's game last night. This morning got the best news since I started round two. My CEA test came back at 4.1 this morning. Still on the high side but much lower than last time. Doc doesn't put much stalk in this test because there is a lot of things that can affect the results. I don't want to break out the champagne glasses and condoms quite yet but I will take this as a major win for today. In January my CEA was up to 10 then 12 in March. June it bumped up to 40 and July was almost 50. I'm pumped it dropped down this time! Dam well could have been 500! It has taken 10 months of pure hell to get a bit of good news. This is why people going through this shit have to fight and keep going! Maybe it's the different chemo, radiation, or even the magosteen/black seed. Whatever it is I'll take it for now. Let's get this calcium/fluids in me and get the hell out of here. Can't wait for this radiation to wear off so I can get some more energy and get moving more.

10-8-2024 Another Tuesday where I'm up and at it early. Heading to the HC in a few hours. Updates later this morning on what doc says and if I'm going to get the full treatment.

Update. A rest! What the hell is that?! After 6/7 straight weeks of chemo plus the radiation Doc is giving me a break. Just got up from a good nap. So dam tired lately! I'm kind of torn between two lovers. Even though I know I need a break I'll be wondering if it's spreading or not. He said I will get at least a week if not two to reset the body. He couldn't treat me anyway with my bloodwork. My platelets were down to 31 and my white cell count is super low again. I still have to be careful. The chance of me getting sick is pretty good. I weighed in at 166 lbs. He wants me to get stronger and start trying to pack on some pounds. Challenge accepted! I've lost about 20 pounds in a month. Doc also told us he wants to hit me with a couple full treatments of Taxol/ram before my next scan. I can't get a scan until 6 weeks after radiation. He said the radiation will be working on my body for at least a few more weeks. I'll find out tomorrow if I have to go back in for a calcium infusion. I'm guessing I will. He also ran a CEA test on me today. It's not a 100% slam dunk but the CEA test can show how much or if the cancer is spreading. Like I need more anxiety right now. The plan this week is to bulk up and get stronger and not have any setbacks. I'll have updates tomorrow on calcium and CEA results.

10-6-2024 Busy weekend! Sunday night and getting ready for the Cowboy game. Friday I made to work for a few hours. I was fine on the way up but got really tired when I was there. Friday evening was fun as we got to walk to walk Samantha onto the field for Junior homecoming court. I made until halftime of the game then had to head out. Yesterday was another busy day with all the homecoming festivities. I was really out of it yesterday. Lately I've been really up and down. One hour I feel ok then the next hour I feel like shit. I know it's from getting drilled but it feels like something is really off. Trying like hell to get food/drink down my piehole but it's still a challenge. I'll turn into all ribs and nipples if I don't start getting calories in. That's the new challenge. Going to be a tough one especially if I keep getting hit with the chemo. At least the radiation is done with. Still red on chest/back but healing up a little each day. Just can't shake this light head and fatigue. Today just relaxed and watched some football. Let's go Cowboys! I'll have to see how I feel in the morning. I might try and make it to the lab again but who knows. One more day of relaxing before I head back in on Tuesday.

10-3-2024 A free day! It felt so good not going in for anything today. I guess that's the point I'm at right now. A few days off feels like a vacation for me. My throat and neck are starting to heal up. It's much easier to swallow now. Have to start bulking up again. Still pretty tired but eating and drinking more is giving me a boost. Got a walk in at the park and finally trimmed up the back yard. Feel pretty good now after my daily snooze. We made it out to Joey's game last evening. I'm planning on making the hike to the lab tomorrow. We'll have to see how I feel in the morning. Tomorrow night will be another big night for me as Amanda and I will get to walk Samantha out for the junior homecoming court. Sounds crazy but to me it's one of those moments. Remember I missed Morgan's junior year because I was still in the hospital from my surgery. Missing that while being stuck in Cleveland was a low moment for me. But last year we bounced back and here we are again. Time to relax, watch some football and let this body heal up.

10-2-2024 Happy Birthday Zeke! Just got the call. Back to the hope center again for another calcium infusion. Lower than it's ever been. Guessing it's from the radiation cooking my bones. It's still such a task going back in especially a day after chemo. Time to go get poked again. I was planning on getting moving this morning, Maybe a walk or mow but that will have to wait till later Hoping to make Joey's game later this afternoon. Didn't sleep a lick last night but that's par for the course on treatment nights. Throat getting better everyday which is a major win. Hope it keeps improving. Thanks to my man Jeff for coming and visiting me at the center yesterday. My man is going through the same shit and still finds time to check in. One things for sure, I have some good people in my corner!

Song of the Day - Godsmack - Awake

10-1-2024. We made it to October! No rest today. I just got hooked up to my first bag. Time for another treatment. They're hitting me with the taxol and giving me more fluids. Everyday it's something. It's like a full time job. Next week we will go back to the high octane with the RAM. My bloodwork is super low today. My platelets are at 44 and white counts still super low. I should be here for about 3 hours. Still weak this morning but my throat feels a little bit better than yesterday. I have to start getting some calories in me. New month equals new mindset. Let's get it done. I got a lot of tunes in for September but not many full albums. Only 23 full albums last month. Updates later on how this treatment is going.

9-30-2024 We did it. Finished another 20 days of targeted radiation. So glad that is done with. Today was my 48th total radiation treatment. Counting the ones I had before my surgery. Time to heal up from this beatdown. Let's hope this calmed the lesions on my bones down a bit. Now I get to look forward to my chemo treatments on Tuesday's. I head back to the Hope Center tomorrow I'm really curious to see what they do tomorrow. All depending on my bloodwork. I can sure use a break before I get the Taxol/RAM full treatment next week. As I said before this has been one of the most trying times I've had since my surgery. Many moments this last month of being put to the test. Those who are following and reach out to me within our cancer groups can relate. Even today with feeling weak as hell I will count finishing the rays as a win and hit the chemo room tomorrow thinking positive. I don't know if this shit I'm going through is helping or not. What I do know is that something is keeping me going and I'm still here to write this story. I feel like I'm in bonus time. The extra time I've spent with family and friends makes all this worth it. Time to shake it off and get back to normal. Time to take another nap and be ready for tomorrow. Updates tomorrow. Thanks again for everyone checking in with Amanda and I lately. I appreciate it and will never forget it. 👍

Song of the Day - Disturbed - The Light

9=29-2024 Nothing like a lazy Sunday. Rainy gloomy day. It looks like a day of relaxing watching football. I sound like a broken record but still super tired. My upper back and neck still a bit red but looking better. My throat is a little better but still hard for me to swallow. Yesterday I was able to get some food down. Most I ate in a couple weeks. Tomorrow morning is my last of the radiation treatments. Once these side effects calm down, I'm hoping to get some energy back and put some weight back on. I just have nothing in the tank right now. I've been in a really tough mental state this past month. Got really close a couple of times to completely shutting down. But here we are. Still ticking. I get so pissed and refuse to let this get the best of me. Sometimes works against me. We had an idea it was going to be tough, but I didn't think I would get beat up like this. I sat out Friday's football game but did make it to the JV game Saturday morning. Got the front and side yard done yesterday. Not enough energy to the entire yard but it's a start. Let's get the rays done tomorrow and see what's up for the new week.

9-26-2024. Up and at it early this morning. Another radiation finished. Now I'm back at the hope center getting fluids and another bag of calcium. I have something everyday now. Two hour infusion today then head home to nap. I'm planning on making Joey's game this evening. We'll see how i feel. Song of the Day - Clod War Kids - Can We Hang On?

9-25-2024 Lots of napping these days. Just got up from another snooze after radiation. Felt ok yesterday after my chemo and rays. I didn't sleep yesterday afternoon like usual on treatment days. Maybe the roids were working in overdrive yesterday. My throat was better yesterday than today.Go figure. Today same old movie. Weak but now pacing around the house. Can't stand laying around sitting here! Met with radiology doc this morning. She confirmed the throat, and all the redness is all from the rays which we figured. Hopefully I don't start to glow pretty soon. Pretty soon they'll be calling me the green man 2024 from the STR. 😁 Three more to go on the lower back. Tomorrow back to the hope center for fluids and just got results my calcium is low again. I'm guessing it will also be a bag of calcium tomorrow. At least I'm still on this side of the dirt. Got some tunes in today. Would like to push it for a walk once this rain goes away.

Song of the Day = Def Leppard - Let it Go

9-24-2024. Here we go again. Live with the good old laptop from the Hope Center. Just went over the game plan with Doc. He talked with my radiology doctor and they decided to stay on course with just the Taxol again today. He was originally gonna hit me with the RAM also but they decided not to. The plan is to hit me again next week with just the Taxol. In two weeks when I'm hopefully healing up from the rays we're going back to the full Taxol/RAM. All this is depending on my bloodwork. My counts today were lower than last week. My platelets are at 80 and my neutrophils are also on the lower end. My chest, throat and upper back are still pretty red. My swallowing is a little better this morning but has been getting worse as the day goes on. He said the side effects from this radiation can last a while. The last month with the bowel obstruction and this combined radiation/chemo has entered my top 5 of challenges since I started. I weighed in today at 166 pounds. The lowest my chubby ass has been since i graduated high school. Most of the loss from the throat and not being able to swallow along with some foods tasting like ass cheese. They are giving me an extra bag of fluids as I type and he wants me to come back in on Thursday to get another bag since I have not been eating/drinking much. I might start having my mail sent to this address. I will be getting this treatment for a couple more hours then we head to get radiation at 1:30 on lower back. As tough as it's been I'm forcing myself to keep moving. I got in a short walk yesterday after a 3 hour nap. I would like to get up to the lab again soon to feel normal again but I'm just to run down. Time to get pissed and pump myself up and get through this week.

Two for Tuesday songs of the day : Leon Bridges - Bad Bad News

Climax Blues Band - Couldn't Get it Right

9-22-2024 Early Sunday morning and it's time for rest. We had a busy weekend. Even though my throat was cashed I made it through. We made it to the varsity game on Friday to see G play and Samantha cheer. It was nice because we got to hang out with the cousins before the game. Yesterday I made it down to G's jv game for a half. I got up yesterday and my voice was gone. Could barely even speak. I'm sure my family was happy about that. 😁 Hard to swallow anything even liquids. My chest is still red all the way up to my neck and it's the same on my upper back. Last night I finished off with making it to a wedding. Try going to a wedding where you can't really talk trying to explain to everyone you have no voice. Why did I go? It's a mental thing. Glad I was able to get there. I came straight home last night and went right to bed. Today still banged up a bit and I'm going to do my best not to talk. I have to get this throat better. Time to relax and football all day. Tomorrow morning back at with the radiation on lower back. Six more to go. Tuesday we will find out about what the chemo treatment will be.

9-19-2024 Happy Birthday Amanda! Love ya! This combined treatment is taking me to the woodshed right now. To say I'm tired is an understatement. After treatment I struggled to get a walk in the park this morning, but we made it. When I got home the fatigue was bad. Super weak, I was super weaky yow! 😁I just got up from a long nap. I'm going to get moving and make it to Joey's game at 5pm.

I got my calcium infusion down with yesterday, I had to tease the nurses about calling me in, but it was for the better. All the nurses and staff I deal with at the Hope Center are amazing. Yesterday Amanda noticed I had lots of redness in my chest and upper back area. Hopefully with not doing the upper spine this will start to get better. I need this throat to heal up. Three done on the lower and seven more to go. September 30th can't come quick enough. I think I'll be getting tons of rest the next few weeks. Not by choice. Busy weekend ahead if I can hang. Game tonight. Varsity game tomorrow night and wedding on Saturday.

9-18-2024. Not a happy camper today. I had to go back to Hope Center.They called to come in and get a two hour calcium infusion. Wearing me down this week. I was really sluggish this morning after my radiation. It was the first time i ever walked into the HC and the nurse asked if I was ok. Amanda and I hit some breakfast and the store when I got the call to come in. Maybe getting this calcium and a bag of fluids might help me out. I was planning on taking zeke to the park and forcing a walk in but that will have to wait. Right now as I type I'm hooked up again. All I want to do is sleep right now. We met with my radiology doctor this morning and I will go through September 30th with this lower back. She will not radiate the left arm because she doesn't really see anything there. Positive thinking tells me maybe something is working. Who the hell knows anymore?! Time to read my Dave Grohl book and take a snooze. Song of the Day - Tesla - What you Give

9-17-2024. Who said you can't get radiation and chemo on the same day?! Started the rays on my lower spine today then came straight to the Hope Center. Doc is going to hit me again this morning with another Taxol cocktail. Probably gonna feel like shit this afternoon. I really thought with the 10 days of rays under my belt and throat all jacked up I would maybe get a week off. No breaks anytime soon. I just got the bags started so here we go again. Next week is going to suck. He wants to go back to the full Taxol/Ram treatment along with the radiation. Someday's I wonder how the hell I can keep going. This is for sure one of them. Looking at the bright side of things my platelets are up to 107. Still low but the highest they've been this year. Neutrophils are a tad higher which is good for going through all this treatment. White blood cell count is still very low. Long story short ny bloodwork is good enough to keep drilling me. I look at it two ways. One I can sure use a break from the chemo and a week off especially having the radiation. Then I think the only way to fight and stay alive is to have this in my body. I get pissed and say hit me with all you got! I can handle the heat! I have about another two hours of infusion then we'll get the hell out of here. Might have some updates later from home.

Two for Tuesday Songs of the Day

Stevie Wonder - Stevie Wonder - A Place in the Sun

The Temptations - Way Over There

9-16-2024 Weekend was pretty good even though my throat is still pretty beat up. I'll tell you these last few weeks have been a struggle mentally and physically. Ever since the hospital stay and now with this new hit of radiation it's really hard to keep pushing. I now understand how people in my groups end up getting stents or feeding tubes from this upper back radiation. Eating/drinking and swallowing pills sucks right now. I can handle one more today and move on to the lower back tomorrow. Who the hell knows what that will be like. On the brighter side of things I got up yesterday and kicked some ass. Great walk in the park and did the entire yard for the first time in weeks. Got it done just in time to watch my Cowboy's get their asses sanded. Boy what a beatdown! Up and at it early today getting ready to head out to Boardman for rays then make the drive to the lab again for a few hours. I would like to make it up today because tomorrow might be back to chemo again. We'll see what they say at the HC tomorrow morning after radiation. Starting right now I have to focus on getting through this week. 💪

9-14-2024 I made it down to the game last night. The cats made a nice comeback for the win. From there I headed to one of our cousin's get together for a bit. It was great seeing some of the family I haven't seen in a while. Besides the sore throat Friday was a really fun day for me. Today is another story. My throat is worse today for sure. Nothing seems to help the pain. Swallowing my pills are even a pain in the ass. This radiation to my upper back is affecting my lower throat. I relaxed all day so far. Drinking is hard today but as usual I'm forcing food and drink down my piehole! I'm so irritated I haven't been able to move around today. At least I can watch football all day and night. I will take it easy tonight and hopefully tomorrow feel a bit better. I'll get something accomplished before the big Cowboy game at 1pm!

9-13-2024 I made it up to work for a few hours after radiation this morning. It doesn't seem like much but does wonders for my mental game. Now time for the drive back into town and get a good snooze in before the game tonight. I hit the course yesterday afternoon. We got 9 holes in and I didn't break any bones!. First time out in a while. I still have a sore throat from the rays. Hopefully the two day weekend rest will feel good before we get back to it on Monday. I'm going to enjoy this weekend as much as possible! I think we might have to visit Minno Island this weekend. 😊

9-12-2024 Got my 8th radiation for my upper back done this morning. Two more to go on T1 and T4 then next Tuesday we will start the lower back. This morning was the first time I felt side effects from the radiation. I now have a bit of a sore throat. Feels like it is lower near the bottom of my neck. They said this might happen just with where the radiation is going to hit the upper back. Thank goodness only two more days of hitting these spots. As the day goes on it's getting a little harder to swallow. I was really planning on making the drive to the lab today but just didn't have it this morning. After my daily snooze I now have some more energy. Amanda and I had a good walk in the park with Zeke. Have to keep moving. I'm going to try and go hit some golf balls. Hoping I don't crack any bones swinging the club. 😁 I just want to get through this week and get a couple days off. Hoping to get to work tomorrow after radiation. Then in the evening go watch G play and Samantha cheer at the STR game!

9-11-2024 Happy Anniversary Amanda! Yesterday was a rough one. Not much moving around at all. I got home from the hope center and slept for a good bit. I managed to go pick up Joey from practice but that was about it. I relaxed all night and as usual the first day of treatment I slept like shit. Up most of the night then got hit with the rays again this morning. The hope center called this morning and wanted me to go in for a Calcium infusion because levels are very low. After talking with them again I will just take double of my Calcium meds. With all this shit I'm going through I need a rest from getting poked again. We'll see what my levels are next week and go from there. I can't believe all the meds I now take on a daily basis. Calcium and vitamin D for my bones that are getting zapped. Doptelet for my low platelets. Senna, pantoprazole and now more steroids for my back. Not to mention my Mangosteen and black seed oil I'm taking a shot on. I had a great power nap today and was able to make it to Joey's game this evening. My brother-in-law Mike is back in town and joined us. It's always a joy having him around. It's always great seeing my man Carl at these games. So great talking with him. We have that connection since we're both in the same battle with this shit. Hopefully I will sleep tonight. My eyes are already closing. Back to radiation in morning and no matter what I'm moving tomorrow. A good walk and maybe go hit some golf balls if I can. Who knows maybe I'll find it in me to head up to work for a bit. We'll see since everyday now I don't know what to expect! Song of the Day - Led Zeppelin - Thank You

9-10-2024. Back at it today. Hit radiation at 8:15 then straight to hope center. My bloodwork was so so. My platelets are at 90 which is still low but holding steady for treatment. Doc was a little hesitant to treat me because my dam neutrophils are back down around 1200. They usually don't treat if they're under 1500 but he decided to keep being aggressive and hit me with my 5th Taxol treatment. I just really have to watch because it's easy for me to get sick with the phils being low. The chemo building up in my system will cause this.12/13 of the Folfox and now my 5th Taxol. As much as I think I need a break from this chemo I'm kind of glad he's giving it today. I guess when he said we're going to be aggressive he wasn't joking. The other good news is that gained about7 pounds back from last week.I should be here for another hour or so. Already had my fluids, steroids, and benadryl. Taxol will be my next bag and just got my lovely Xgeva shot. Shot sucks the you know whats. This place is packed this morning. It's like a chemo/immunotherapy drive through. Had some really good conversations with other patients today. Like I said before when I first started this you feel like your the only one fighting and on an island all alone. Then you find out that there are tons of others worse off than I am right now. Everyone has there own battle and story to tell. Everyone is affected by this shit in a different way. I can't wait to get the hell out of here and get home. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. Maybe I'll get hyper and move around later!

9-9-2024 Lots of birthday's this month. Happy Birthday Ann! We had a blast at the Cowboys/Browns game yesterday. A day Joey, G and I will never forget. Had my 5th radiation on my upper back this morning. I went from radiation to work for a few hours. Feels so good to make it up to the lab. I feel normal when I get up there. Not looking forward to tomorrow. Radiation in the morning then straight to the Hope Center for chemo. I'm curious to see what my bloodwork results will be. I might be due for my Xgeva also. This week will be a battle for sure. At least I'm not losing all my hair yet. 😊 Updates tomorrow from the Hope Center.

Song of the Day - Gov't Mule - Soulshine

9-8-2024 Happy Birthday yesterday to Samantha! 17 years old. It's hard to believe. Game Day! Heading up in a few hours to the Cowboy/Browns game with Joey and G. Thanks to JV for taking us and getting tickets. With another tough week ahead of me I will enjoy every second today. Hope to have some pictures later. I had a pretty good weekend. I was really tired on Friday after radiation. We made it down to the Cats game and I was able to make it to G's jv game yesterday morning. He played good in both games. We had a chill night last night with some company. What a difference a week can make. Last week I'm in the Cleveland Clinic today I'll be at Browns stadium. This week I will have radiation every day at 8:15am and treatment again on Tuesday. Let's get it done. Go Cowboys!

9-5-2024 Going every day to these radiation appointments is going to be a pain in the ass. Long way to go. I'm a little more down today than the last few days. I did manage to get a good walk in the park with Zeke after radiation. I have to keep pushing myself. I have plenty of time on my hands for my 3000-piece Beatles puzzle and read my Dave Grohl book. We will be hitting Joey's game in Poland this evening. 💪 Song of the Day - Eminem - Till I Collapse

9=4-2024 Got my rays today. Day #2 in the books. Talked with Doc and got some more information on the radiation. I will be doing 10 days straight of my upper back then 10 days of my lower back. My rad treatment will go until September 30th. We originally thought it would go to the 17th. She will do the left arm after that. I already put about 5 pounds back on since last week's beatdown. Get your popcorn out. It's going to be a fun month. Just curious on how the body is going to react.

9-3-2024. No rest for the wicked. Talked with doc and he decided to go ahead and hit me with another treatment. I thought maybe he would give me a break considering my last 5 days. Time to toughen up. I'll be done with this infusion around noon then we head to get radiation this afternoon. Let's see how much this body can take. Maybe I'll have updates later on the day if I'm feeling it.

A day of chemo and radiation finished. Just got home from getting my rays. I will first get radiation on my upper back then get hit again for my lower spine. They will do my left arm after the back is finished. I will find out more details tomorrow. I meet with the rad oncologist after my 11am appointment. I'm scheduled to go everyday through September 17th for my back. I'm not sure how many days the arm will be. The things you will do to stay alive. It's looking like the next few Tuesdays will be like this one (chemo and radiation). I'm really heavy eyed but I'm pacing around non-stop feeling like I'm going to bust out of my skin. Maybe it's roid rage! Dr. Khalid did tell us I will be down with the combo treatment. I'll have updates tomorrow on what the doc says and how I'm feeling.

Two for Tuesday Songs of the Day:

1. I Need Never Get Old - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

2. And It's Still Alright - Nathaniel Rateliff

9-2-2024 I really wish I was able to do something today before the new week of treatment but I'm just too weak. I had about five days of hell but we got through. So glad to be home right now. I'm a little worried about my weight. The Clinic weighed me and according to them I lost 10-15 pounds since last Tuesday when I got weighed at the Hope Center. Just weighed myself at home and it is in the same ballpark. Not sure if not eating for four/five days can cause that but it really concerns me. Thank God I was a chubby buddy when this all started, or I would be nothing but ribs and nipples right now. 😁Now I have to start trying to get some calories in and get fat again. That starts today. The mental part is I don't want to eat too much because I want to avoid another obstruction. They told me at the clinic there is nothing I can do to avoid it. These obstructions and lesions are more likely caused from my original surgery and can happen anytime. Anyhow today is a new day and I have to get ready for tomorrow. I've decided I'm heading into the HC in the morning and see if Doc wants to treat me or give me a break after this past week. I was originally going to call and cancel but let's see what he says. I'm not even sure if they're expecting me to show up. I will go from there straight to start my radiation. Been a while since I got hit with some rays. I will be going everyday starting tomorrow for targeted radiation on my back, left arm, and lower back/hip. Who knows maybe the scanner will malfunction and turn me into the hulk or some shit like it did to David Banner. 😁 On the brighter side of things I got 3 vinyl's in today. Have to get back to my tunes. Only 23 full albums in August. Not good. Updates tomorrow on how radiation goes and if I get hit with more Taxol.

9-1-2024. I got a little bit of rest last night. Broken up sleep with them coming in every two hours waking me up. Things are starting to move in the right direction for the first time in four days. I might be getting some real food this morning. I'll have to get it down slow and go from there. I'm doing whatever I have to do to get the hell out of here! Hopefully I will get out of here tomorrow sometime. It all depends on if I can keep food down and keep the bowel moving. NG tube came out yesterday afternoon and I just got unhooked from the fluids. I'm like a free bird. I might run around this hospital like a chicken with it's head cut off. Maybe they'll kick me out of here! I can't wait to get home. Not how I planned it but we made it to September. Big month coming up with the continued treatment and the start of radiation. My first radiation is scheduled for Tuesday along with going back to the Hope Center. I think after this beatdown I might need a week off from the chemo. Whatever it takes I'm still going to give this all I got. Hope to have some good updates later.

Song of the Day - September (Earth Wind and Fire)

8-31-2024. What a holiday weekend I'm having. We ended up going to St. E's in Boardman Thursday morning. I couldn't get anything down and was still throwing up. Another blockage? Unreal! I did not even get a bed in emergency until 10pm that night. After sitting with an NG tube down my throat and iv hooked up I sat there until last night around 3am. At 3am they transferred me to the Cleveland Clinic in case i would need surgery for this blockage. BTW that ride sucked! It's been a brutal 3 days for me. Mentally i'm exhausted. i feel like a thousand pound gorilla in a tiny cage. After all the treatment I've had and still scheduled for next week this is the last thing I need to go through. This is what I call a big set-back. I get so pissed off but I really think that's what will get me through the next few days and get my ass home. I miss the family and my friends when I'm locked down like this and it drives me crazy.I finally pulled out the laptop to write. Right now I'm trying to rest but since I got to the Clinic this morning it's been more bloodwork, x-ray for NG tube and the good old shot of heparin in my belly. We'll see what these doctors up here have to say. Hopefully I can move these bowels and get out of here within the next couple of days. Sorry for not responding to everyone the last two days. I've been so irritated I barley even touched my phone and really don't want to talk much with this tube down my throat. So we're back in the Land today. I have to find some push and drive to get the hell out of here. I will try to have more updates depending on how I'm feeling.

8-29-2024. I hate to be doom and gloom right now but I'm trying my ass off to as positive as I can. We are back in the ER. My treatment on Tuesday was ok . Let alone dealing with the treatment I was up all night with a ton of pain in my stomach. I vomited about three times yesterday morning like no other. The last thing in the world this body needs is another bowel obstruction like I had a year and a half ago. I fought like hell to get though yesterday. I could not get anything down and was throwing up again just from drinking water. I actually made it to Joey's game last night at the old Rayen stadium and thought I can see if this would clear last night. Of course it didn't and here we are. Sitting in the ER waiting to see what the hell is wrong. With all this treatment and now this not sure how I put one foot forward and keep going. My body right now is beat up! Now the bull needs to come out and I have to get through another round. just tired of getting poked everyday. As pissed as I am i have to get through today and find out exactly what is wrong. Dr. Khalid wants them to check for another obstruction or a GI bleed. I have to be strong because the mental game is pretty low right now.Hope to have some updates later when we figure out what is going on.

8-27-2024. Did I ever mention how bad this sucks?! Just got home from another treatment. i could not post live because the HC's internet was down. Everything was down when I got there early today. So glad I was able to get treatment today instead of waiting till tomorrow. They hit me with my 3rd round of Taxol today. Add that to the 12 rounds of Folfox I did and here we are.They did not give me the RAM because they are not sure when my radiation will be scheduled. Doc explained I can't do the RAM and radiation at the same time. The RAM will be back on once we get the radiation set up or even done with. Finally a bit of good news. My platelets are at 98! That's the highest they have been in a long time. My neutrophils and other blood counts are still pretty low. I'm just going to lay down for a bit and hopefully fall asleep. Sometimes it's hard to sleep with the steroids they give me. Maybe I'll just lay here and stare at the walls. I'm really feeling down and a little sick right now. Hopefully this feeling doesn't last all week. I'll bounce back and do whatever I can to get moving again. Starting today when I post everyone will be getting a song of the day. No method or thinking into the pic just whatever I'm feeling on that day. Could be from MJ to heavy metal. Time for me to take a long ass nap.

Song of the day: Traveling Wilburys - End of the Line

8-25-2024 I have to say as tough as last week was, we had a fun weekend. I made it down Friday night to watch G play and Samantha cheer. Doesn't sound like much but for me and how I was feeling last week to see Joey and G play their first games is a bonus for me. Let's keep making these short-term goals and checking them off the list. To be honest with you, with the news I got last December I wasn't sure if I would even be here for these moments. You better believe I appreciate every second of being there at these events. It's the fuel I need to keep pushing. I ate a little bit better this weekend. Still have the bone pain but not as weak as I've felt lately. Last night I made it to the Fieldhouse for a great night of fights. I just love watching the fight game. Congrats to Aiden and Keith on two good wins. I made it through all the matches then friends and family rolled back to our house for a few hours. Long story short a great night that I really needed. Today I was a little sluggish from going all night, but I just relaxed today. Getting Zeke out for a walk was about it for today. I have to get ready for another week. If bloodwork is good on Tuesday, they will probably hit me with treatment again. We're still waiting to hear when radiation will start. Definitely not looking forward to that. I'm going to try and make it up to the lab tomorrow. All depending on how I feel. Big day in the Minno house tomorrow. Morgan is starting her first day at Y.S.U.!!

8-22-2024 Late night post. I have to tell you it's been a challenging three days to say the least. We made the trip to University Hospital to see Dr. Chakrabarti today. We were very impressed and so glad we have another set of eyes on me. It was kind of what we expected. He agrees with the start of this second line treatment of Taxol and Ram. I will continue this for another month or so and get another scan. I wonder how in the hell I can keep going through these treatments. There is a third line that kind of goes back to the 5-FU with the pump again. I'll worry about that if the time comes. Most of the meeting with Dr. Chak was talking about Phase 1 studies. These studies are there if the treatment/radiation is not working. If we get to that point, it will be a totally different conversation. These Phase 1 studies are basically drugs that haven't been tested much on humans. But we will worry about that if the time comes. I'm not planning on that happening anytime soon. I'm going to stay on this course of chemo and soon radiation again and go for it. Head up and fight. I do have to get my eating in line. It's been tough getting food down. Everything tastes terrible. I really have to force the calories down. I made it to Joey's game yesterday and I'm planning on making G's first varsity game tomorrow night. Hoping to make it Saturday for my favorite boxing at the Fieldhouse! These are the things that keep me going!

8-21-2024 Back from my radiation simulation. I now have six new ink tattoos on my body. Seems like every day I have something going on. Such a mental battle! Once the doc reviews these scans they will schedule me for the radiation. I'm guessing sometime next week. Never in a million years did I think I would have to go through radiation again after already doing a month straight two years ago. Just got up from a three-hour nap Still weak today but I'm going to try and make Joey's first game at 6pm. We'll see how I feel. I'm hoping this treatment doesn't hit me like it did last time. It was from the third/fourth day on where it really hit me. We will head to University Hospital tomorrow to see a new oncologist. He has a lot of experience. I guess he worked at the Mayo Clinic He was referred to us by Dr. Khalid from the HC. I already have a great medical team looking over me but another set of eyes can't hurt. Maybe he will have some other options. I will have updates on how I'm feeling and also our to trip to Cleveland tomorrow. Let's keep moving!

8-20-2024. Live from the Hope Center. Platelets at 79 and neutrophils are ok for treatment. They just started my bags/steroids about 20 minutes ago. Next will be the chemo and get the hell out of here asap! Not much to say or vent about right now. Rough night of sleep. I ended up laying flat last night and had a bad reflux attack. So terrible. I will keep everyone updated on how my day goes and how I'm feeling. It's just the beginning of a busy week.Time to step my game up.

Not much to update this Tuesday night. Same old same old. Came home from treatment and slept from 11:30 till almost 7pm. Being up last night might have something to do with the all-day siesta. Not sick just really weak and tired. Tomorrow morning we head to get my markings for radiation. I'll tell you; this body needs a break!

8-18-2024 Relaxing on a Sunday evening. Yesterday and today was back to school shopping with the boys. It's hard to believe school will be starting for them this week. Yesterday I managed to get stung again from a group of bees. Got nailed about six times. Three in each of my lower legs. Not good in any situation let alone having low platelets and blood counts. Pissed me off so bad I went into anger overdrive to finish the front and side yard. Maybe these little bastard bee stings are helping me in some crazy way, or maybe not.😁 I just don't have the same amount of juice ever since this second line treatment started. Wearing down much easier these last few weeks. Every time I get too low I have to find a way to pump myself and keep trucking. As anyone would know dealing with this shit you have to dig deep. I'm going to try and head up to the lab again tomorrow. This week will be another tester. Tuesday back to HC for another treatment. Wednesday I will be getting marked for my radiation. No idea when this radiation will start. Hopefully it will help with this bone pain. This pain is no joke. Then Thursday I will be headed to University Hospital to see one of Dr. Khalid mentors who I guess worked at the Mayo Clinic. It can't hurt to get as many eyes on this goofy body as possible. Get your popcorn out. This show is going to get really interesting the next month or so. Whatever they throw at me I'll be ready!

8-16-2024 I was able to get around much better the last two days. Wednesday, I made it to Joey's football scrimmage. Yesterday we went to G's after I got a good nap in. I made it up to the lab so I was bushed when I got home. One of my short term goals is to watch both of them play some games and also see Samantha cheer. Setting these goals helps motivate me to get through each day. Heading up to the lab again this morning. At least I'll finish the week feeling halfway normal. I have to get ready because Tuesday will be here before you know it. They also called and scheduled my markings scan for radiation next Wednesday. The next few weeks should get pretty interesting.

8-13-2024 Back from the Hope Center. Got my Xgeva shot and the doc made me stay for a bag of fluids. My platelets finally went up to 75! Sometimes things with me makes no sense. Last week with no treatment the week before my platelets were 45. After getting treatment last week they go up to 75. He did not treat me today because my neutrophils were low. It's been sometime since they've been this low. Not surprising to me because I haven't had the Friday shot to boost them up in a month or so. He talked to my radiation doc and decided that he will still give me the Taxol during my radiation run. I will be getting Taxol next Tuesday and I'm still waiting to hear back from the radiation team. It's so crazy that I will soon be getting radiation and chemo at the same time. Another day to put behind us. Now it's that time to let the body heal for a week and get ready for what should be another crazy month. I will have updates when I hear about my radiation scans.

8-12-2024 We had our visit with my radiation oncologist today. We got tons of information. It was a little weird going back to that place. I haven't had radiation since the summer of 2022 and really thought I would ever be back. But that's the road we're on so here we go again. No surprise but first of all I will have to get more scans to see where these lesions are. Depending on the scans she wants to treat first of all my vertebrae within T1 and T4 with about 10 hits of targeted radiation. It's already going into my fluid but she wants to slow it down so it does not get into my spinal cord. With the T1 and T4 she also wants to hit my left arm which is where most of my pain is right now. I will get 5 treatments on the arm. After viewing my previous scans she is also worried about my pelvic area or what I refer to as my ass bone. There's a spot that is pushing on my nerves down south and she's kind of confused on why it's not bothering me more. It's pushing on the nerves that run down the back of my right leg. After the first two we will then go for 10 more hits above my ass bone. Maybe I can wear some assless chaps for that procedure! 😁 She did say my pain from last week could be from the RAM treatment but not from the Taxol. She will talk to Dr. Khalid this afternoon. Not sure if he will agree but she wants me to stop chemo treatment during this radiation run. I'm torn about that. Not sure what to think. We will know tomorrow morning what the plan is. I'll definitely get my bloodwork and shot of Xgeva. I'm not sure if he will give me treatment back to back weeks. Every Tuesday going in to see him we have no idea what to expect. So overall today was not a bad day. At least there's some hope of shrinking a few of these down at least to give me more time. Updates tomorrow from the HC. Let's keep pushing!

8-11-2024 Back on my feet again today after a bad day yesterday. I was up early yesterday with lots of bone pain. I managed to get down to the Jay 'Meatball' Catone Foundation get together. A little weak but we made it down there for an hour or so. Such a great benefit for a wonderful family. When I got home that's where the wheels came off! It felt like I had every possible symptom on earth. Bone pain, neuropathy in hands and feet, and also a bit of a fever. I napped for about 3 hours and washed down a pain pill around 530-6 and started to feel much better. When I broke the fever I did feel much better. It was a blessing because I was thinking it could be an infection. With all the meds and my low blood counts the last thing I need is an infection. We had some great company last night to pass some time and by the time I headed to bed I was feeling better than earlier. Today I got up feeling a bit better and did the lawn. What a difference a day can make. I did it slow and didn't go balls to the walls. So now Sunday evening will be rest and relax after watching my Cowboys lose their first preseason game. Tomorrow will be a big day. We head back to my radiologist in the afternoon to see if I can get some of these spots removed on my bones to help with this pain. Not sure if they can but we'll find out tomorrow. Back to the Hope Center Tuesday to see doc. Not sure about treatment but I'm scheduled for my good old Xgeva shot. You know how much I love that. To be honest I'm trying like hell with everything, but all of this is really starting to wear me down! Hope to have some updates tomorrow.

8-9-2024 What a rough couple of days I have had. Everyone from the Hope Center to those who have had this taxol/ram shit were absolutely right! The first 24 hours into Wednesday evening wasn't that bad. Yesterday morning it felt like someone smacked me with a bag of bricks. I had really bad pain in my left arm and the neuropathy was terrible. I'm not sure if this is bone pain from the lesions or straight up neuropathy. After getting my man Stefan on his way back to SLC I came home and slept for about 3 hours. When I got up I popped an oxy which all of you know I try to avoid. It did help and cut the pain in half. The rest of last night was a little better but this morning it was back to the pain. My whole left arm was numb and throbbing pain. So bad I had to have Amanda help me put on my socks which is actually pretty funny. This second line treatment is going to be a battle. I popped a couple of ibuprofens and they really helped me out. I sucked it up and got moving. Joey and I headed down to Gs first high school scrimmage. We were there about an hour and now I'm back just relaxing. I will find a way to power through this. Start fresh today and put the last few days behind me. I'm also scheduled to see my radiation oncologist on Monday. We'll see if they're able to zap a few of these spots out of me. Not sure if they can or not. The last thing I want to do is get hit with radiation again but I'll do whatever I can to keep breathing!

8-7-2024 First 24 hours of the Taxol/Ram in the books. It hasn't been bad but they told me the first day is the easiest. As of now not as bad as the Folfox but he said each one might get worse. At least I'm not carrying a pump around for two days. He compares the Taxol to the Oxaliplatin that was in the Folfox treatment. The neuropathy in my fingers is acting up with this treatment. Today I'm much weaker and more tired than yesterday. They said this might happen when the steroids wear off. Funny how this shit works. I'm guessing my platelets are in the tank right now. I'm doing everything I can to move around and shove food down my throat even though my taste is all messed up. The Hope Center called and Dr. Khalid referred me to see one of his colleagues Dr. Chakrabarti at University Hospital in Cleveland on August 22nd. He used to work at the Mayo Clinic and wants to take a look at me. I'm starting to feel like a human test experiment.😁 I guess the more eyes I have on this the better. The bigger the team I have the better. No word yet on any radiation appointments. We have to get through the next few days and get ready for whatever comes at me next week. Time to relax and nap the rest of the night.

8-6-2024. Live from the HC. We talked to doc this morning and went over all our options. He finally talked to the Cleveland Clinic and they all agreed on this second line treatment. I will be getting the Taxol and Ram. My platelets are only at 45! Hard to believe with me taking the doptelet. They are not waiting around and he is hitting me today. He wants to be as aggressive as we can be.They want to do it for three straight weeks but because of my low platelets I will wait 2 weeks before my next hit. At least he pushed my Xgeva shot to next Tuesday. We also talked about what to expect from this new line. He said nothing is guaranteed but this could slow it down. But also there is no cure which isn't breaking news. So now I have to run the course to keep moving. I'm hooked up right now to my first couple bags. The Taxol chemo will be last. He said with this chemo and the Ram I will get really tired. I have to see how I will react to this. I will know in a few hours. He tried but right now there are no clinical trials at this time. Next step to think about will be the NIH in Washington D.C. He has also contacted my radiologist.I may be going to get targeted radiation for some of this bone pain in my back and left arm. The things you have to do to try and stay alive. Right now I'm pissed off mode. Bring the noise. I'm in a fighting mood today! Let's get through this morning and see what happens. I will try and give updates later if I'm not snoozing all day. .

8-5-2024 Another Monday evening before a trip to the Hope Center. We're going to meet with doc in the morning and go over this second line of treatment. It will be the Taxol and Ram. I think if all my blood counts are good, I might just go ahead and give this a shot. Not sure how sick I will get or how I will react to the new chemo. On the flip side if I do nothing, I might really suffer with this shit spreading in bones. Maybe all the treatments I had this year kept it out of my organs for now. That's me trying to find a tiny bright spot. I never thought in a million years I'd have to make these decisions at this point in my life. Going into tomorrow I have to try and get myself pumped up. No looking back now. I'm still here and not giving up yet. Let's see what they say and follow their lead. Saturday evening I got to see some of my old classmates from high school. We got together for everyone turning 50 years old. It was a great time catching up with everyone. Yesterday, Morgan. Aiden and Stefan headed up to Cedar Point and we're surprised by my in laws. We were only there about six hours but it was much needed for me. So much fun to get up there again. Relaxed all day today. Getting ready for tomorrow. I'm hoping to get some sleep tonight. At least a few hours. I'll have updates in the morning when we get our next plan!

8-2-2024 After a terrible night of sleep I finally dusted myself off. Now I have to be more mentally tough than ever. Hitting nine holes yesterday and having some good company last night kept my mind off the MRI results for a bit. Doctor Khalid called me this afternoon to go over what the next plan of action will be. I will meet with him Tuesday. He wanted me to have a heads up on plan B and the second line of treatment. The ball is in my court and I have to decide whether to continue with this new line of treatment or not. It felt really good he reached out to me. He is consulting with others and is still waiting to hear back from the Cleveland Clinic. He said if we decide to move forward they will now hit me with 2 other chemos. These chemos are Taxol and Ram (ramucirumab). This will be given on Tuesday for three weeks depending on my bloodwork. The infusion will be around two hours. No more being hooked up to my pump for two days. The pump will be going in the Folfox hall of fame when I get inducted.😁 He said this second line may have more side effects but if I got through all those rounds of Folfox I might be fine. Time to get moving again and try not to break any bones. This shit is spreading so fast I might be in a body cast within a month. We will have a ton of questions for next week and also some big decisions to make.

8-1-2024 We made it to August. I can smell football in the air. Had a busy of work yesterday and getting ready to head up this morning. I did not sleep very good Tuesday night. Last night was much better. It's been a real mental challenge since the MRI. Every time I get a scan it brings me back to the reality of this situation. Thursday morning and still no results yet. Should be getting them today. I got in 33 full albums in for July. I know not that good. Maybe some golf this afternoon? We'll see. I will have updates as soon as we get them!💪 Update:

Remember when I said we're going to have some decisions to make after these MRI results. We have finally come to the point in this journey for my biggest decision. The results from the MRI shows significant metastasis within the vertebrae. It is from my C-7 all the way to my T-5 and still moving in my pelvic area. That's the short version. It's really hard to explain how I'm feeling at this second. I guess I'm in shock right now. I'm for sure not surprised on the results. Taking all this in and accepting what's to come is the tough part. We will meet with doc on Tuesday to see if I have any other options. So for now I'm going to bulldoze through a work day and hell maybe even go hit some golf balls this afternoon. I will not allow myself to curl up in a ball and fade. When that time comes you will know I'm ready. So for now let's try and enjoy this upcoming weekend and see what doc has to say on Tuesday. I said from the beginning I will not be defined by having cancer. Hopefully I'll be defined by how I fought and handled myself through all of this. 💖

7-30-2024 I'll be leaving in a bit for my MRI. Stay tuned for updates. Probably will not get any results till later tonight or tomorrow. For some reason my anxiety isn't even close to my past scans and MRI. No matter what the results are I just want to get this done so we can move on to the next chapter. Back from my MRI. I was in the tube for about an hour. 45 minutes then they added the contrast and I went back in for 15-20 minutes. Just going to relax tonight and wait for the results!

7-29-2024 Had a pretty active day yesterday with some moving and shaking. I continued my streak of walking in the park. I also managed to get some yard work done and a fresh cut. I did manage to get stung by a bee in my ankle. I needed that like I need another hole in the head. It was pretty swollen but better this morning. Heading up to work today. At least I will be up by Akron main where Amanda and G are. She said he's looking much better this morning. Hope he gets the hell out of there today! Once again thanks to everyone who is reaching out to me about my MRI tomorrow. I really appreciate it. I'm really not expecting much. I know the hand I've been dealt and have to be realistic about the whole situation. I just need more time to fight. I'm not done yet and don't want no MRI to tell me otherwise. Going to try to have as much as a normal day as I can and get ready for tomorrow!

7-27=2024 I never thought that going through this shit I would be thinking of anything else. My man Gionni hasn't been feeling good the past week or so. Amanda had to take him in and he is still in the hospital getting a bunch of tests done. Let's hope they figure something out quick! Here we are Saturday evening and it's been a crazy run on how I'm feeling. Yesterday was a weird day. I got the beast out for a short walk in the morning and felt pretty good. Then as the day went on I felt more tired and needed to rest. Most of the day was like a roller-coaster ride. Felt good one hour then sluggish the next. That's the good old treatment taking it to me. After a good night of sleep I got another walk in with Zeke this morning. I then made it out to watch Joey and some of the 8th graders play a 7 on 7 tournament in Liberty. It's always a win when I can see these boys compete. I appreciate every second I can when it comes to things like that. Enjoy the little things. It was also great seeing a few boys from other schools who I coached and coached against in hoops. So it was an active day keeping my mind off of Tuesday. I will try and copy that tomorrow! Congrats tonight to Diana and James. Wish we could have been there. Get better G!

7-25-2024 Got my pump off this morning and I did wait around for the bag of fluids this time. Same old situation. Withdrawal time. I came home and slept all afternoon. Had zero energy when I got home but I think the long snooze helped out. Just going to rest and hopefully get a good night of sleep. Another round finished. Now my focus will be on Tuesday's MRI. I'm going to try as hard as hell to keep it out of my mind and enjoy the weekend!

7-24-2025 Got through yesterday ok. Same as usual. Just weak and really tired. Not too happy because Amanda cut the grass! I'll have to go out and inspect the job today. 😁 I got a three-hour nap in around two o'clock. It was one of those deep sleeps where you wake up and have no idea where you are. When I got up I asked G if he hit me in the head with a bat! The rest of the day was just sitting around watching tv with G, Joey, and my chemo pumps in a bump. I did manage to force food down my piehole and drink a good amount. Everything I do lately seems so forced. But that's what I have to do to keep pumping. Closed my eyes around midnight and was up every couple hours. That's when your mind goes in some crazy places. Those are the times you have to get mean and go at this like no other. I know this will eventually take me out and depending on this MRI next Tuesday we'll have some decisions to make. With that being said I'm going down swinging and will keep going forward. The treatment, shots, scans, medications all better pack a lunch because it's going be a long day when dealing with me. Sorry for the pump-up rant but now I feel better. 😁 Today I'm hoping to feel a stronger and move around even with the pump. I go in early around 8:30am tomorrow to get this unhooked. The nurses at the HC are all ganging up on me to get a bag of fluids after because I usually don't. I feel like they might hold me at gunpoint. I think of all the treatments I've had I stayed one time to get a bag of fluids. 50 minutes extra? That's a long time for an impatient person like me!

7=23=2024 Here we go again. Another Tuesday heading to the Hope Center. Feeling really off the last few days. As usual a night of tossing and turning. That seems to always happen a night before going in. Been up since 5am wide awake. I'll have updates in a few hours on what is going on.👍

Update from the HC. I'm getting treated again. This will be my 12/13th total Folfox treatment. Starting to lose count. I may make the Folfox hall of fame if we keep this up. My platelets are still low but went up to 66. My other bloodwork is also low but a little bit better than last week. I'm sure these numbers will drop again with this treatment but let's get it done. I'm getting the third degree from the nurses about getting fluids when I get the pump off on Thursday. I only did it once. Everyone knows I'm hard to coach. Should be here for about a three hour infusion. He cut the Oxaliplatin again but is adding the Opdivo again. So I'll leave here with my pump again for the next two days and try to get through this the best I can.

7-22-2024 Another Monday morning and here we go. Not the best of energy this morning. I made it out again yesterday morning with the crew and got 18 holes in. Made a great decision to come and do nothing all day. Not feeling the best yesterday afternoon I just relaxed and actually went up to bed around 9pm. As you know that rarely happens. I stayed in bed until this morning. I guess the rest was needed but still a little off this morning. Back at it tomorrow. No idea what they're going to do at the HC. Hope the blood levels get a bit better. Even though I need it another treatment might really put me on my ass. Heading up to work for a few hours. I'll have updates tomorrow on his plan of action.

7-20-2024 Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother I'm staying alive. A little music humor to start Saturday morning out. Had a great time visiting with my cousins Chris and Sal Thursday night. Had some company over and really enjoyed it. Maybe too much if you know what I mean. It seems like everything I do now it has to be zero to sixty full throttle. Squeezing as much out of life as I can. It's a weird headspace to be in. It really catches up with me as I continue this treatment and deal with some of this bone pain. I know it can drive my family and close friends nuts sometimes but it keeps me grinding. I think this upcoming week with treatment and the MRI on the 30th has got my mind going in all directions. Had a really good and busy day at the lab yesterday. Longest day I was at work in long time. Really pushed it this past week. Not sure what I'll get into today. I'm going to start with a good walk at the park then see where the day takes me.

7-18-2024 Put in a decent day at the lab yesterday. Heading up in a bit to have that normal life feeling again. Didn't have the greatest of evenings yesterday. Had more bone pain in my back and left arm than I've in a while. I had a weird twenty minutes or so in which I thought I was getting another bowel obstruction but I ended up being ok. Once again who knows what it could be. Enough pain for me to pop an oxy. It did help because I slept great last night! I'm just hoping I pushed it way too much on Tuesday. I hit some golf balls then busted out the yard in the heat. I wonder if I'll ever learn to settle down. Probably not. Enough about the last few days. Let's focus on finishing out the week and hopefully getting these blood counts back up and see what they are going to do next week as far as treatment goes.

7-16-2024 Heading out to the HC in a bit to get my bloodwork done. Such a pain in the ass going there and getting poked all the time. I must have said that a thousand times on this blog. We'll see where these platelets are. Hoping I don't need an infusion anytime soon. I've been going through angry stage as of late. Sometimes that helps me get through. I did end up doing the podcast on YouTube with Uncle Keith from the UK. Great guy and so easy to talk to. It was so great meeting him and talking a bit about our journeys. Hopefully it will help someone out. I will keep everyone updated on when he puts it on his page. I will also have updates on my bloodwork later today or tomorrow.

My bloodwork results are in. Platelets went up a bit to 58 but my white cell count has dropped pretty low since last week. My chance for an infection or getting sick is pretty high right now. At least I'll have the rest of the week off and head back in for another treatment next Tuesday.

I'm guessing he'll give me another since my MRI will be the following week.

7-14-2024 Just relaxing on a Sunday afternoon. I made it to the golf outing yesterday. I really needed a day like that. Just to get out there and hit some balls around with good company was just what the doctor ordered. Just to get out and clear the mind helps so much. I'm hoping to make it up to the lab tomorrow. All depends on how I feel in the morning. Besides going to get bloodwork on Tuesday I should have a pretty normal week. I really do need a break. We'll see if they schedule my MRI soon. Just going to rest up this afternoon and see if we're still on for this podcast at 3pm. If I can help in anyway to get the word out about EC I will do it!

7-11-2024 Much better sleep last night. I was up tossing and turning around 1, 2 and 4 but didn't get up. Had a lot more energy last evening. I sound like a broken record but really weak this morning. It's day to day with this shit. You never know how you're going to feel each day. Sometimes it's hour to hour. Chemo pump is already getting low. I will be heading in soon to get this off of me. I'm counting the seconds down to be free again. 😊 Got my CEA blood work back last night and once again not the greatest news as it went up since last month. It was up to 40 last month now it raised a bit to 49. We'll see what they say about that when I see the doc in two weeks. He wants me to get bloodwork next Tuesday to check all numbers. At least no neutrophil shot tomorrow. He's giving me a break on that this week. Something that small and not having to go back again tomorrow is big for me right now. I need it right now believe me. I'm going to go this this bag off and try to sit still and rest today and tomorrow. I have a golf outing to make on Saturday! 💪

7-10-2924 What a difference each treatment can be. I got home yesterday and crashed for about two hours. Got another hour snooze in the late afternoon. Even though nothing tastes good I forced some food down my piehole. I basically just laid around watching tv and also starring at the walls. I shut down the tractor beam early and fell asleep around 10pm. I was up wide awake from 1:30 to almost 4:30. Last treatment I didn't move for 15 hours. I slept another couple hours and got up before 7am. Just relaxing and soon I'll be dozing again. Not super sick this time around just as normal really weak and no energy. I did make it out to chill on the front porch for a bit. It's nice to get some fresh air especially when you feel like this. Finally put my chemo bag belt on. Works out pretty good. Let's me use both arms instead of always carrying the pump around. The little things right that get you through the day. I also might be doing a podcast on Sunday with my new friend Keith from the UK. He is battling the same disease and like me wants to get awareness out there on his YouTube channel. I'm going to rest up today. Back tomorrow morning to get this pump off.

7-9-2024. Here we go again. I'm getting hit again. Not looking forward to the rest of the week that's for sure. Guessing I'm going to be pretty sick. Time to talk to the chemo. Bring it on! Good talk with the doctor. This will be my 11th FolFox treatment. I have no idea how I made it through this many treatments. Even with taking the Doptelet my dam platelets are down to 41. I guess it's good I can still move around like I can.This is the lowest it's ever been with me being treated. I have to watch again for bleeding with the platelets this low plus the treatment. He is cutting out the oxaliplatin. No more. He is adding back in the Opdivo along with the 5-FU and my pump for two days. Once again, I'm scheduled for the Xgeva shot which is tough especially on the same day as getting this shit pumped into me. It's a never ending battle. Even in these dark times you have to keep steam rolling through. I will continue the Doptelet and come back next Tuesday for bloodwork. If platelets are crashed I may need a transfusion and add some. He also ordered an MRI for my vertebrae. The results from this MRI will determine the next line of treatment. Glad I got this post in before I go downhill. Bags are flowing and just got my Xgeva shot out of the way. I'll do my best to give updates on how I'm feeling.!

7-8-2024 Monday morning and getting ready to head up to work. I had a decent night of rest but not the best. My mind is racing about tomorrow. Not sure what's in store for me. I know I need some kind of treatment. I just don't want to feel like I did two weeks ago. That was not a good week for sure. I sound like a broken record but the bone pain in my upper back, left arm and pelvis area still annoying the shit out of me. I'll have my Hope Center updates tomorrow. I'm going to make today as normal as possible. Get a decent day in at the lab and come home and you know...get a mow in and move around a bit.

7-6-2024 Got another day of work in yesterday. Last evening was let the body recover night after a week of going non-stop. Today will be much of the same. Nothing planned just play it by ear. Maybe Amanda and I will head out tonight. We'll see how I feel. My bone pain in my legs and pelvis are starting to worry me a bit. Hope it's just from the meds. Getting ready again for another trip to the HC on Tuesday. No idea what the plan is. Not looking forward to another round of treatment based on what it did to me last week. I'm really curious to see if my platelet counts are going up. I'm not sure what to expect when I go in. Not for sure but I may be doing a podcast about my story with a contact from the UK. He is battling right now getting ready for surgery in a few months. It's hard but I figure if I can help someone out why not?! People going through EC or any type of cancer need HOPE. That's what keeps people going.

7-4-2024 Happy 4th everyone! Another early rise today. Had a pretty good night of rest. I had a couple normal last few days. Tuesday, I made it up to work then came home and did my two-hour crash nap. I was out like a light. The energy is hard to find as this keeps adding up in my body. Yesterday back to work and only got in about a twenty-minute nap then bulled through and got the yard done right before the rain hit. Good little workout for this beat up body. Visited again last evening with my brother and Paula who are in from out of town. We relaxed with some tv after that followed by an early bedtime.

So far I've been handling the Doptelet medication pretty well. Just notice some joint pain but not nearly as bad as the neutrophil shots or Xgeva shot. It's so nice giving my body a break this week. Today we'll hit the parade to watch the kids. I believe they're all in it or at least helping out with it. It's the little things like today that most will take for granted. Not me not now. I hope to enjoy a long day of hanging with family and friends.

7-1-2024 We made it through June. It's been a tough month but now we're ready to take on July. Tough one today as we lost a cousin on Amanda's side. Only 42 years old. Love ya Matt. Late night post tonight. I made it through a long day yesterday with family and great friends celebrating Morgan's graduation. I was still pretty out of it but managed to get through and have one hell of a day. Which also includes learning about people and how you can be surprised by how some people act. I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt because to me especially now nothing is really worth getting worked up about. Ok done with the vent session.😁 Crazy day of running non-stop then finally coming back to the house and having some fun which included some fireworks. Thanks Dan and Brian. My mind is still going in circles. Last night I hit the sack before midnight, I got up wide awake at 4am. Like I slept for three days straight. I was so pumped-up Samantha and I did a Dunkin run at 5am. That's my mind lately. Can't stop thinking about what is in front of me. I did get a few more hours of sleep this morning. I actually feel a bit stronger today. Not as weak and the lightheadedness is much better. Took me six days to say that. It feels so good to not have any appointments this week and not get an IV stuck in me. That hasn't happened often this year. Only 34 full albums in June. Not good. Once again I have to step it up on the music front. No work today, If I'm feeling ok in the morning it's time to get back to the lab and have a normal week.💪

6-30-2024 Up early again on this Sunday morning. Slept good last night. Best night of sleep I've had since last Tuesday. My pain is also better today. The last few days have been rough with the leg, pelvis and some arm pain. For me to take a pain pill the last few nights you know it has to be bad. I never take that shit. I just can't shake this lightheadedness and weak in the knees feeling. With all these meds going in me who knows what is making me like this. Hopefully today being around a ton of family and close friends will rise me up a bit. Received my Mangosteen yesterday! Thanks to Dan and Tommy for the connection with Bob! Let's give this a shot along with my Black seed oil. Why not? Let's throw some spaghetti at the wall and see if it sticks. I'm really looking forward to today and also a week of not getting poked or having anything scheduled. I'm going to use this week to get stronger for the next go around.

6-28-2024 I might have spoke to soon yesterday when I mentioned I didn't have much pain. Last night pretty much sucked. Last evening and all night I had some bad pain in the bones which kept me up. Slept for a couple hours at the most. Once again not sure if it's from the treatment or all this other platelet/bone meds I'm on. Or as I like to think it could be from sitting around knocked on my ass this week. No matter what it is I'm not a very happy camper right now. This treatment won Tuesday and Thursday. Wednesday I got the split decision. I will do everything in my power not to let it win today. Yes I do get like this. Heading to the HC in a couple of hours for my shot. Hopefully this injection doesn't mess me up like it did two weeks ago. We'll see what happens!

6-27-2024 Just got home from getting baggy chemo magee off. It was a rough 48 hours to say the least. Started feeling a bit better last evening but everyone knows how it goes when I get this pump off. I'm going to try and relax and not go ape shit right now. Easier said than done for me. I'm already looking for things to do. The grass might have to wait a few days! We'll see how I bounce back this afternoon then we'll finish off the week tomorrow with another neutrophil shot around 10:30am. This will be my 6th day on the doptelet medication. So far no side effects worth mentioning. They said it may take a week or so to start feeling it kick in. I still get a kick out of the fact I'm the first person he's ever treated with the folfox while taking doptelet. Feel like an animal being experimented on. Maybe I'll grow another arm or leg before it's all said and done.😁 Even though I'm physically beat up my mental game is pretty good right now.💪 I'm going to try to get some tunes in and relax. I'll have updates tomorrow after my shot.

6-26-2024. It's around 10am and finally moved from the couch. Yesterday was pretty close to if not the worst I've felt with the all the treatments. They hit me again with the oxaliplatin. As soon as that went into my body I started feeling like shit. We got home around 2 or so. I laid in the recliner covered up with four blankets shivering staring at the walls. It's so hard to explain. You're so sick and tired but just can't fall a sleep. I moved from the chair to the couch around 5 and didn't move from there until this morning. Believe it or not I slept better than I expected to. Dozed off from midnight till 2am then fell back asleep around 3:30. Finally got my ass off the couch to wash up and as weak as I am make something of the day. I'm sure I'll be laying around a lot resting trying to get through this day. I have to force some food down my pie hole today. I only had one lego my eggo since yesterday. Today starts the get stronger phase to get through the week. Head in tomorrow around 10:30 to get my chemo pump off again. Friday back in for another shot. Really getting beat down lately but as bad as I feel I will not stop moving forward!

6-25-2024. Here we go! I'm getting hit again with another Folfox treatment. Just got my bags flowing. He is adding the oxaliplatin back in. He is being aggressive and treating me even though my platelets are only 52. I'm guessing it's going to be a rough one. Just started my 1st bag. Should be here for my 4 hour hit then head home again with the good old pump. Did I say this really sucks! We had a very good and long talk with doctor this morning. We went over my scan and he said this scan was just about the same as last. Some lymph nodes a bit bigger and some smaller. There are some new bone lesions but according to him not much progression from the previous scan. So the plan is to hit me again and scan sooner than 3 months. Amanda and I got a big kick out of doc today. First off he told me I'm not his typical cookie cutter patient and kind of an odd ball on what's going on with me. He said obviously everyones different but this he doesn't see. He told us I'm the first patient he's ever treated with Folfox and receiving the Doptelet medication at the same time. So for now we will stay on the first line of treatment. At least until the next scan. Maybe I am from another planet. Figured I would get this post out now before I start feeling it and can't do shit..Here we go again. Let's get it done!

6-24-2024 Even with the scan results coming in on Saturday the weekend turned out to be pretty good for me. Got to hang out all afternoon with G and Joey. Amanda and I headed out to a friend's house for a visit that night which was much needed. Sometimes just the little things help me out mentally. After a few hours of my mind going crazy I turned it around hit the park again got moving. No time for dicking around feeling sorry for myself and wasting days. Also hit a few light weights.What's the MJ song? Don't stop till you get enough! I have to be careful with the weights. The last thing I need is to break any bones being a jackass.😁 Yesterday I got a good walk in again and chilled out with the family most of the day. Heading up to work this morning. Some days are so hard to get my ass there. It almost feels like I'm on autopilot and if I'm feeling anywhere close to ok I'm heading up. I was asked about my pain again. Most of my pain is in my upper back and left arm. With that being said it's nothing that is keeping me down. It's a surprise that as of now I have very little pain in my pelvis or upper leg area where according to the scans it's there. Today will be my 4th day of the Doptelet medication. So far so good. They said it may take some time for it to kick in. Tomorrow back to HC to see what doc has to say and where we're going from here. I have no idea what to expect. Another treatment of folfox? A diiferent treatment? Or nothing at all. Who the hell knows. What I do know is no matter what I'm ready to take it on. I'm not dead yet. I'm gonna fight this like no other. Updates tomorrow on the next step.👍

6=22=2024 I have to tell everyone I had one goofy night. After getting that scan yesterday my mind is consumed with getting the results. After my scan got my mind off it a little by getting my exercise and mowing in the 90 degree heat! I just can't help myself. As I said throughout this journey sometimes the worst thing is the unknown. Almost like your body has been lying to you and your relieved when you hear the truth. Even it's bad news. We were talking the other day and I think this was my 8th total cat-scan. Along with the pet-scans and MRI that I had. For some reason this one has a much different feel. Hell yes I'm super anxious about the results but not as worried the past ones. I know that sounds crazy but true. Back to my goofy night. I was checking the Cleveland Clinic My Chart at least every hour yesterday. That led to me being up every hour or so checking my phone and staring at the walls. Yes they have posted results before at crazy hours but not last night. We're still waiting. I was wide awake around 5:30am with the coffee brewing and have been hyper since. Going to get Zeke to the park this morning and keep this train a rolling. Get G and Joey to get a fresh cut and have as much as a normal day as possible. My Doptelet medication was delivered last evening and got my first pill in. Really curious to see what this is going to do to me. I hope to have an update on my scan soon!

Scan results are in. Not really surprised. They are just about what I expected. To make a long story short the treatment I've been getting might have gotten me to this point but now I'm really not sure how much further it will take me. Most of my lymph nodes are about the same or have decreased a bit. I think one increased a little bit. The problem is it seems like it's spreading in my bones pretty fast. My vertebrae lesions seem to have gotten worse and there are now two new ones on T2 and T3. The ones in my iliac bones and sacrum are still there and another new one on my L4. It doesn't make me feel much better but all my organs are fine. Nothing in my liver, lungs, kidneys, pancreas etc. Even though it's what I expected it will take me a minute to clear my mind. I meet with doctor on Tuesday. It should be an interesting conversation. We'll have to see if there is another plan or even he he wants to treat me again. Regardless of what anyone says I have some big decisions coming up in the next few days.

6-21-2024 Heading out in a few for another scan. Let's see where we're at again. Not a great night of sleep. This shit really sucks. Two years ago today was my first ever Folfox treatment. When I look at my blog and look at everything we've been through it's hard to believe. Hope to have some updates on scan sometime this evening or tomorrow at the latest...💪

6-20-2024 We did a spur of the moment 9 holes last evening after my usual after work nap. It was hot as hell but we had a blast. Hit the ball pretty well considering all the treatment and my port. I'm trying to get out as much as I can when I'm not getting drilled. Depending on the weather might go out again this evening. It will help keep my mind off tomorrows scan for a few hours. I'm sure my mind will be racing all night long with Lionel Richie. My gazillion dollar Dopelet medication for my platelets was finally approved and will be delivered tomorrow. Just another med to add to the list. Hopefully it doesn't jack me up too much. Made it up to work again this morning and back at it.

6-18-2024 Made it up to the lab yesterday and had a pretty good day. Still beat up a bit but felt much better yesterday. Nothing too exciting happened yesterday. Joey and I hit the store then we just relaxed and watch some hoops the rest of the evening. I did sneak in a few curls with the weights which made me feel pretty good! Once again I had some company over to pass the time. It helps so much to have people to shoot the shit with especially on a scan week. The one thing I've learned with the thousand scans I've had is to keep busy and have people around you that make you forget about it for a few hours. Absolutely you're going to think about it non-stop but just to give your mind a rest for a bit has helped me out since the beginning. Not crawling in a corner and having people around is what has worked for me. With all that being said scanxiety is a real thing. Real enough that sleep will be tough to come by this week. Like I said before the feeling I have for this scan is much different than my past ones. I know what's in front of me. Not being negative nancy but we know it's there. The question is how bad is it? Up and at it again and heading back to the lab. Let's get it done!

6-16-2024 Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! Feeling a little stronger today and not as lightheaded. I pushed myself to move around yesterday and felt much better after getting a little sweat. We made it to two grad parties yesterday. Relaxed and we really enjoyed the night! Today I'm going to take it easy and relax. Just a lay around and be fat day. Hoping to head up to work tomorrow if I'm feeling good in the morning. Big week coming up with my scan on Friday!

6-15-2024 Yesterday was a little bit tougher than I expected. I was scheduled to go get my neutrophil shot at 8:30 but didn't get it till about 11am. I crashed for over two hours when I got home. It was that deep sleep like someone hit me in the head with a hammer. Not sure if this was from the shot itself or the week of treatment. I really wonder how much these injections really affect me. Pretty amazing how every week/day can be different with all this shit going into my body. I was really lightheaded the rest of the day but did make it to another grad party. My head was not right for most of the evening and that lead to a rough sleep. Early rise this morning and feeling a bit better but not nearly on my A game. I'm going to try and get the energy to get some mowing done which might take me 5 hours today.😁 We're dam sure going to try. Hope to hit a couple more grad parties this afternoon. All depending on how I feel!

Let's see what we can accomplish today!

6-13-2024 Just got up from a little snooze. Hit the Hope Center early this morning to get my chemo bag off. Another treatment done. Same effects today when getting the bag off. Pretty weak and tired but I'm almost ready to come out of my skin from sitting on my ass for two days. It's almost like I'm looking for something to do even though I need to relax. I slept much better last night than Tuesday night. Back tomorrow morning to get another shot for my neutrophils. That will be two injections this week. Such a pain in the balls. Just got a call from the HC to discuss my raised CEA level. They explained it could be from lowering the oxaliplatin and no opdivo. They may hit me one more time with everything one more time before we go to plan B. It will all depend on what my scan says next Friday. I think we have a pretty good idea of what to expect but at least we can get through this 6 month battle and move on to another form of treatment. I have a pretty good team watching over me right now. Doc has two other oncologists from Pitt and UH giving input along with the Cleveland Clinic. At this point I feel very good with Dr. Khalid and his staff. It's time to brush myself off and get back at it. Once again thanks to everyone reaching out and checking in the last few days!

6-12-2024. Figured I'm up and about wide awake at 4am. I slept last night for about 3 hours. I got up from 2:30 - 3am. dozed off for another hour. Yesterday was a little bit different for a treatment day then the past few. The last few I was really tired but not so much sick. Yesterday even though wired beyond belief I was more sick this time. It's hard to explain. I walked around a ton with my pump and drove the entire household out of there mind. I think pretty soon they will be taking medication because of me. The bonus of yesterday was that I ate good forcing as much down my pie hole as I could. Just checked my results from bloodwork that come back a few hours ago. They ran the CEA test for the first time in a while. This is a cancer marker test. Yes another smack in the nuts. My CEA went from an 11 all the way to a 40 which is in the red and marked as high. All this shit I'm going through and can't get any good news medically. I've given this one hell of a run over the past two years and now trying even harder just to keep ticking but this sure doesn't help. Now for today I hope to feel better than yesterday and try like hell to block the CEA test out of my mind. Easier said than done but I will try. Stay mentally strong and one thing I always say...As bad as I get and whatever path this takes someone out there has it a lot worse. Hope to give some updates later...💪

6-11-2024 Up and at it early again. Heading into HC. Let's see what happens. I'll have updates on bloodwork in a few hours. Ok hers we go. Doc just came out to the infusion room to chat. Platelets are still low at only 59. He is confused on what's going on. Maybe I am from another planet. Guessing the steroids are not helping bring them up. I will need the Nplate injection but it has not been approved by insurance yet. What a joke! But honestly not bothered by that right now. The last thing I want today is an injection today. He consulted with two other oncologists and each had a different opinion. One said to hit me anyway with all three and immunotherapy because I've handled all this ok so far..The other said to just do leucovorin and 5FU with the pump for 48 hours because the platelets are so low. Not taking a chance on tanking me. If they do I will need to come in and get a bag of platelets. Today we are doing plan B. They just started my fluids and I will be getting the chemo started in a bit. Then head home with my good old pump again. Trying hard but I'm sure this one will wear me down. Not just physically but mentally. What a grind. Being my 9/10th hitter(starting to lose count) and these platelets this low I'm expecting a tough week. He also said we will not move on to another line of treatment until we see my next scan and see if this shit is progressing. Scan will be on the 21st of June. Just found out I'm getting my monthly Xgeva shot today. Sucks getting this shot on the same day as treatment. The side effects from this shot sucks ass. Already really tired.Time to toughen up. Let's get another one done and keep moving along!

6-10-2024 What busy weekend we had. Friday was busy as usual as I finished the week with a couple good days of work. Friday evening was topped off with a birthday party on the good old north side. Got a good walk in Saturday morning and hung out most of the day. Saturday evening met the gang out for another birthday party. So much fun to get out for a bit and have a normal two day run. Yesterday got an early 18 in then came home and did the weekend mow followed by another graduation party! I've been non-stop hell bent for leather lately and I can feel it. Business as usual today as I'm getting ready to head to the lab. Preparing for another day at the hope center tomorrow. We'll see if I get hit with another treatment. I have no idea what to expect anymore when I go there. I'm really curious to see where these platelet levels are. I hope there raised enough to where I don't need an Nplate injection. I've been bruising easily which doc said will happen. One major reason he wants me to settle my ass down. Updates tomorrow after we find out some news...👍

6=6=2024 Pretty good day at the lab yesterday. Even getting out of there early I'm exhausted on the drive home. So it was the same when I got home. A nice nap. Did a late night cut before the rain hit. Good sweat. Felt great! Up again early this morning. Not sure if these steroids are making me even more anxious than I should be. At least I'm not getting roid rage although Amanda and the kids may disagree...😁I started at four a day now down to two. I will take these through the weekend and hopefully boost these levels up come Tuesday. Along with all my other vitamins and meds I started taking Black Seed Oil. Why not right? Anyhow back to the grind for a few hours at work then it's time to start hitting the grad parties again this evening...💪

Update this afternoon! Got my results from the second antibody platelet test. Of course it was positive. The streak continues.😊 I talked with my oncologist and they think the platelets are getting affected by the Opdivo that I have been given with the chemo. If these steroids do not work I will have to get another shot called an Nplate injection to boost platelets. I need another shot every week or month like I need another hole in the head. As I said before just call me the human pincushion from now on. We will find out Tuesday from my bloodwork if treatment will be a go. Also this afternoon I got my scan scheduled for June 21st. Depending on my treatment schedule we'll see what happens. It seems like every week I have a new hurdle to jump. Have to keep up with the mental game and keep non-stop busy. Oh yea and maybe rest a little.😊

6=5=2024 We got to see doc yesterday morning. It was a tester for me the fact we waited a good while to see him and go over the next plan. Those close to me understand my impatience! I also thought I was going to get a free day/week from getting poked. That did not happen. I did end up getting bloodwork done again. I guess I should just assume it will happen every week no matter what. My platelets were exactly the same as last week. They were at 55 again. Still very low but stayed the same even though I had treatment last week. So maybe the steroids I'm taking are helping. We'll know more next week when I go in. So the plan is to hit me at least one more time if not two depending on bloodwork and if I can handle the heat. Each one is getting tougher. I'm scheduled for next Tuesday but we know how that works. He got the ball rollling by ordering the next cat-scan and pet-scan after that. Once approved we can decide when we want to set it up. I also forgot to mention that ZOTUXIMAB is back in the news!!! It's like I'm trying to beat the clock. Come on FDA approve this drug already! Not saying it will work for sure but at least give me a shot. So after getting poked again I made it out and hit some golf balls around. We had a really good night last night. As close to normal life as it could be lately. This morning I'm getting ready to head up to the lab. No doubt I will crash this afternoon...😊

6-3-2024 Time to head up to work in a bit. Feel decent again this morning after a good weekend. My energy level was down Friday after the treatment but I bounced back and felt better Saturday and yesterday. This morning I feel ok just tired again. As I said before the sleeping has not been that great. Up tossing and turning early these days. Tomorrow we meet with doc. Hope to get the results of that blood test.

6-1-2024 Now that the week of treatment is over I hope to get moving again today. Been up wide awake since 6am. My sleeping pattern has been all jacked up lately. Yesterday I was still weak but much better than I was on Thursday. I got out of the house for a few hours last night to shoot some stick. Much needed after laying around for 3 straight days. Today I'm going to get moving with the yard but I will for sure take it slow. June should be a big month for us. We may have a new plan of attack. If not I should be at least getting a scan sometime this month. Talk about high anxiety! We meet with doc again on Tuesday. Let's hope these steroids are helping with my platelet levels. All in all May was a bitch of a month but we made it through. Getting to see Morgan graduate was a bonus! 45 full albums spun in May. We can do better on the music front in June.

5-30-2024 Just got back from getting my pump off. Another round of chemo finished. It's strange but I will feel rundown today for sure. Hard to believe I've been through a total of 8/9 of these treatments. Anytime this pump comes off I get more weak and tired. I guess the good news of the day is that I do not have to go in tomorrow for my shot to boost the neutrophils. Just not having to go there tomorrow is huge for me. Pretty sad but true. We did not get the results of my antibody platelet test yet. I'm curious to see if the opdivo caused this or not. Hope to get those results soon. I meet with doc again next Tuesday to discuss next treatment and hopefully get a scan scheduled to see where I'm at. Also to maybe discuss our next treatment options if it's worth it. Just to throw it out there again and refresh everyone's minds The Cleveland Clinic is involved with everything that we are doing. We discussed trials and went over all my biopsy results to see what will help me and what course of action will be next. As tired as I was yesterday somehow I managed to shove more food down my pie hole than I have in an entire month. No idea but I ate like a viking yesterday. Thanks again for everyone reaching out the last few days. Today it will be bum around and maybe some tunes!

5-29-2024 Chemo pump and I had an ok night of sleep last night. Had a good couple hour nap when I got home and didn't settle down till after midnight. Slept ok. I was up every couple hours but not for long. I was super weak yesterday but forced myself to eat and move around the house a bit. Feeling the same if not worse this morning. Crazy how sometimes each day can be worse. I did not get off the couch till about 10:30. Washed up brushed and felt a little better. I have been dicking around with a puzzle and got two vinyls in so far. Walking around the house and can'y sit still. That's something I usually don't do on day two. Well it's time to go lay down for a bit and stare at the walls. Maybe get a nap in. Too wet outside to go cut the yard....😁

5-28-2024 Up early this morning. Not the best night of sleep. Just wondering what is in store for today. I will keep everyone posted on the bloodwork and treatment later this morning.

Live update from my second home. I'm starting to believe what many others have been telling me. I might just be from another planet. Things with me are always changing every single time I come here or get results. My dam platelets are even lower this week. I haven't been treated in 5 weeks and my platelets are down to 55. So here is the plan. They will run a platelet antibody test which they will just take a couple tubes out of my port. At least I didn't get poked twice! This test will see if there is a disorder with my platelets. Doc came out and talked to us and he is perplexed. He's not certain but thinks it can be from the immunotherapy or oxaliplatin. So today I'm just getting the leucovorin and my good old folinic acid 5-FU pump to carry around for the next 48 hours. He is also prescribing me a steroid to this week to see if it raises my platelets. He said with them being so low I may get more rundown then before. I also have to watch because I can bruise easily. I guess it's kind of expected. This treatment can do this. I just can't wait to get this over and get my ass home to rest! If I can sit still...!

5-26-2024 She did it! Morgan graduated today. So happy for all the kids. As you know one of my goals months ago was to make it to see her graduate and we did it. I guess all the hell I've gone through in the past few months keeping me around was well worth it just to witness this day. Now it's all done and it's time for her to experience the real world. The entire weekend was great. Chilled out Friday night and I made a golf outing yesterday morning. Actually I made it through 18 holes and had a great time. The highlight of the evening was finally meeting my man Vito who was in town. He is battling the same bullshit as me with this cancer. We got in contact from some mutual friends and family. We had a great time meeting him and his family. We only spent an hour or so together but I swear the connection makes it seem like I've known him my whole life. It's also a bonus that he's a big boxing fan!😊 Health wise I have some back pain and this dry mouth is starting to become a major pain in the ass! Really starting to affect my appetite. Now it's time to have a relaxing Sunday evening and get ready for possibly a round of treatment this week. But I will not be surprised if it doesn't happen again. We'll see.

5-24-2024 Finally a good night of sleep last night. Made it to work for a few hours yesterday. Came home got my nap in then hit the course for nine holes. I was run down but felt good once I got out there. My back feels pretty good after swinging the clubs. It was good practice for tomorrow mornings golf outing. Heading back to the lab this morning. Hopefully if I have enough energy I'll get the yard done then it's time to start hitting the list of graduation parties. It's that time of year.

5-22-2024 So I'm back in the game today. Done with my tantrum and walking out of the hope center yesterday. I was pretty pissed. So pissed come right home mowed the entire yard and took a long walk. Blew some steam off for sure. Platelets didn't go up at all. They were almost exactly the same as the week before. It's just I get so jacked up thinking let's get this done and then it's a no go. I'm scheduled again for next Tuesday but I'm still not sure. Better mentally today. The bright spot of the day was I got to attend Morgan and Samantha's softball banquet. Made my night to see all the girls and what they accomplished throughout the years. Morgan as a senior with some great awards and Samantha getting her first letter. To me the two hours there brought me back down to earth and made me realize they are far more important than my shitty ass day. So today I had to just relax. I decided not to go into work and take it easy. Maybe I'm doing too much but It's hard for me to slow down. Just have to try something to get through these next few and see what's next. Even if it is relaxing a little bit more.

5-21-2024 Here we go again. I'll be heading to the HC for the 3rd straight week to see if I can get this treatment going. Didn't sleep very well. As usual the day before I've been pretty anxious! Hope to have updates with the laptop in a few hours.

I'll make this short and sweet. No treatment again. They are pushing it back a week but I'm not sure what we're going to do. I have some decisions to make for sure. Next week will be 5 weeks out. Just not sure if it's doing anything waiting for over a month.

5/20/2024 Good weekend. I felt good again yesterday. Got a really good walk in at Roosevelt Park yesterday morning. Also attended a local benefit for Michael who has gone through just about the same treatment as me and will be going in for surgery soon. Wishing him the best and for sure rooting for him. When you first get diagnosed with this you feel like your on an island all by yourself. Only to find out there's a gazillion others out there going through the same thing. I'm going up to work today. Mind is totally set on tomorrow with bloodwork early then we'll see about treatment. Hope the bloodwork is good enough but not looking forward to feeling like shit again. Sometimes it feels like a lose lose situation. The next few days will be a mental challenge but I'll be ready for treatment #9.

5-18-2024 Great time last night at the show. Back on a concert roll. Our second show in the last month. I did really good last night. Kept my mind off this bullshit and next weeks treatment for a few hours. Music and concerts seem to be my best medication right now. I'm feeling pretty good again today. Just hope to start eating more. With the constant dry mouth and things tasting different it's been hard. He prescribed me magic mouthwash that tastes like shit but it is helping. We'll see what I can get into today. A free Saturday doesn't happen much in the Minno house.

5-17-2024 Felt really good today. Better than I've been feeling. Still not eating much. Sucks so bad I lost my taste lately. Got a good night of sleep and made it in to work again. Just got up from my afterwork nap. Now it's time to go see Mr. Bach! Amanda and I are heading to Packard to see the once Skid Row singer. Gotta love the hair bands. Thanks Jason for the hookup! Hopefully I have enough energy to get through the show. At least get out and get my mind off things for a few hours. Morgan's last day of school was today. Crazy how it seems like yesterday she was in kindergarten and today she's done with high school. Thanks Cheryl for all the positive vibes today!

5-16-2024 There was one bonus about not getting treatment this week. I was able to attend two of Morgan's events Tuesday and yesterday. Tuesday a group of girls received the Struthers rotary scholarship and last night I got to attend the awards ceremony at the high school. I'll tell you this is one impressive class graduating class. I got to chat with some people I haven't seen in some time. So glad I got to attend. I know it sounds so cliche but going through this hell I appreciate every moment like this. I will say there are still those people who can irritate you even at an event like this. As an adult root/applaud for all the girls. Yes even the ones you can't stand. So low budget. Years ago I would have 100 percent called it out but now it's just not worth it. Just don't have the energy for ignorance. Thanks for the vent. I guess this is why I have a blog, right? Switching gears I did not have a good night of rest again. I was up again around 3. Like I said my mental game has been tough as of late. Getting a little more back pain lately. But I did get the entire yard done yesterday so I'm still moving pretty good. Heading in to work for a few hours. Get home take my nap and maybe get some more exercise this evening. Let's keep it going.

5-14-2024. I guess you can't call today another setback. It's more like the new norm. Not getting treatment again this week. My platelets were still low and he didn't want to tank me since I already had 8 folfox treatments.. Pushed back another week. Next week will be 4 weeks out. I did get my Xgeva shot for the bones.We did meet with doc today and he is on the same page with Cleveland. They want to try and hit me with one or two treatments before I have another scan. From there they will decide what the next line of treatment will be. It's so hard mentally and a kick in the nuts. Hence the reason I was wide awake at 3am last night and took a drive down the 224. I'm trying as hard as I can to keep pushing but it's tough when you have to wait thinking this shit is spreading all over my body. Even though we're not sure it's working and beats me up I still have hope it's doing some good. Got the shot out of the way now It's time to shift the mind to get stronger for next week. As pissed as I am right now we're not giving up quite yet.

Jobs not finished. Job finished? Maybe some of you basketball fans will get that one!

5-13-2024 Bloodwork finished. Just waiting to hear from the hope center about the results. Should get back to me this afternoon. If not we'll head in tomorrow morning and see what the plan is. If I hear anything I'll have updates.

5-12-2024 Just relaxing this Sunday evening. We had a really busy weekend. Friday evening we went to the high school to see all those who attended prom. Morgan's final high school dance! Another great visit this weekend from my in laws. Saturday morning I got out and hit the golf ball around at a golf outing. Still a challenge swinging the club with the back pain but so worth it. It's so nice just to get out especially if I'll be getting drilled again this week. Had some company over Saturday night for some boxing. Today got the back yard done and chilled out the rest of the afternoon. Time to get ready for another week of treatment. I'm really curious to see what docs plan is going to be. I go in tomorrow morning for bloodwork. I hope these platelets/liver levels go back up so we can get something done. I should have lots of updates this week.

5-9-2024 Happy 50th Vinny Vega! I got a much better night of sleep last night. Hit the lab for about 5 hours then Amanda and I made it out to Girard for the girl's final softball game. The Hope Center called with the results on my liver. The numbers are pretty high. They said it can be from the immunotherapy. There's a good chance the immunotherapy is not working anyway. The plan is to go in Monday for more bloodwork. If levels are still raised I might just receive the folfox chemo again on Tuesday without the Opdivo. I'm also scheduled for my shot of Xgeva Tuesday which really sucks. Heading up to work and planning on going to Joey's choir concert tonight. These kids sure keep me moving!

5-8-2024 Made it through a decent day of work yesterday. We had an inspection at the lab so I didn't leave till around 4. That's the longest day I had in some time. Came home and got my usual nap in then just chilled out the rest of the night. Mr. impatient is working on another puzzle. That should keep me busy for a while. Didn't sleep well at all last night. Tossing and turning. Feeling ok just more of a mental thing. Heading up again today. Trying to make this as much as a normal week as I can. I know next week might be a rough one. Hopefully we get back the results of my bloodwork for my liver today. The girls final softball game this evening. Morgan's final game of her high school career. Man how time flies.

5-6-2024 Had a blast yesterday at the Cavs game. Nothing like an Nba game 7 playoff game. So much energy in the land yesterday. We got home in the afternoon and I just relaxed the rest of the night. Slept pretty good last night. Early rise again as I head to my second home again at the Hope Center. Bloodwork this morning a day early. They want to check something with my liver levels again. We'll see what these results show and if I'll get treated tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll have to talk with doc and go over what we discussed at the clinic last Thursday. Have to pick his brain and see if he thinks this treatment is working. If not I have some big decisions to make. The hard part of this right now is going through this getting drilled with this and not knowing if it's working. I'm still holding out hope that our zolbetuximab will get approved soon!

Update. Just got call from hope center about my bloodwork. No treatment tomorrow. My platelet count is down to 42. That's about as low as it's ever been. Might explain why I've been feeling down since last treatment. They pushed me back another week. They still didn't get liver results back yet. So here we go again. Waiting another week. I did manage to get a good walk in today and the whole yard done this afternoon. Hopefully get back up to work tomorrow and try to have a close to normal week.

5-3-2024 Early rise this morning . Not much sleep the last few nights after the trip to Cleveland. After a few hours at work yesterday made it to the girls softball game. It was senior night so a bit emotional for everyone. Hard to believe this season is just about over. Morgan finished her last home game and at bat with a home run over the fence. So awesome. What a way to go out. This morning we're heading down to Salem to watch G play some hoops. That should keep me busy for most of the morning. I have to find some more energy. I'm trying like hell but it seems like I'm only about 50% right now. It just feels like something is not right. We'll get back on track soon. Hopefully we will be heading up to Cleveland tomorrow for game 7 of the Cavs series!

5-2-2024 Amanda and I made the trip to Cleveland this morning to talk about the path I'm on and see about other options. The five month streak of bad news continues. It feels like every time we're waiting for something positive I keep getting kicked in the nuts. With that being said Dr. McNamara was very impressive. He met with us for an hour and went over all my scans, biopsy, and tests. It's like he knew me before I even got there. We learned so much from him about my path and what I'm in store for. First off he agrees with what treatment I'm receiving and everything Dr. Khalid from the Hope Center is doing. He was up front with his concerns. His concerns are the reason why I'm so pissed and angry right now. I'm allowed to go through a pissed at the world stage right? I can write a book on what we went over today but I will just give out the short version. He's not positive but he believes based on my last scan I may not be responding to this treatment this time around like I did the first time. But there's always hope he can be wrong. If I can handle the heat I will try and get 2-3 more then another scan. That scan will dictate our next step. The other concern he has is that one of my results from the biopsy shows him the immunotherapy may not work for me. Talk about a bad break. But like I said we'll have to get through the battle of a couple more treatments and get that scan done. The final result we went over was for my biomarker. He said the good news is there is a drug that he thinks would help me but the bad news is it's not approved yet. Imagine that! He did say it's close to being approved by the end of the year. Keep your fingers crossed. So all in all it wasn't a wasted trip. We got educated and now the have a set plan on what we will do no matter what results come at us. It's nice having two staffs helping me. I told Amanda on the way in I have no clue what is between my ears that keeps me pushing forward. It gets tough mentally and you can go to some dark places if you let. But even at this level you have to suck it up and push like never before. Instead of crawling in a corner I got home got the whole yard done with a good walk to blow off some steam. I'm going to try and relax tonight and get to work in the morning. Enjoy the weekend and see what's in store next week at the hope center. Whatever it is, challenge accepted! Sorry for gone with the novel but needed to vent a bit....lol!

5-1-2024 May is here. Even though it's been a tough one April was a blur. May will be a busy month with Morgan coming down the final stretch for graduation. At the start of this new fight my goal as crazy as it sounds is to make it to her graduation. Girl is a go getter and has accomplished so much this senior year. Super proud. I did about 5 hours at work yesterday then made it to the girls varsity and part of the jv game. I'm feeling about the same as yesterday. Heading up to the lab again. Good luck to my man Jeff who goes in for another treatment (similar to mine). Also good luck to Nick from the UK who I got connected with through the blog. I believe his surgery is today. Wishing him the best with recovery. Let's attack May like no other. Going to be an interesting one. Hopefully get some good information tomorrow in Cleveland. Only 35 full albums logged for April. Once again I have to step it up on the music front!

4-29-2024 Early rise this morning. I'll be heading up to the lab for the first time in a week. We'll see how it goes. As of now I feel a bit stronger this morning. Thank goodness my work is dealing with me through this 2nd bout. I know many that I have connected with going through all types of cancer whose work is not as understanding. Hope to have some updates later on how the day goes.

4-28-2024 Happy Birthday Nunzie Joey! We now have all teenagers in the house. Yesterday I was able to make it to the Priest concert. So glad I got to go. Thanks to Eric for the Covelli center hookup. We really appreciate it. Amanda, Mike, Stefan, Morgan, Gianna and I had a blast. I don't think Morgan or my niece Gianna will become metal heads anytime soon. Experiences like last night validates why I'm going to keep pushing. Today got up with the same odd goofy head feeling. I was able to push it and got the grass mowed although it took me forever. I did a little at a time with many breaks but job finished. Tonight just going to relax and get some rest. Decided to not make the trip to work tomorrow. Just not trusting the drive with the way my head has been. Hope to get up there and back at it on Tuesday.

4-27-2024 Feeling ok today. Sound like a broken record just weak. Happens all the time after this treatment. Going to try and suck it up and hit Judas Priest in Ytown tonight. This will be my first show in quite some time. Not sure how long I will hang in there. I have my man Stefan in from Utah and my brother in law Mike is in to join the metal mania. Should be quite of an experience for Morgan as she is rolling with us. Can't wait to see what she thinks. Welcome to A Day in the Life Round two! We had to break the site up for more space.